Procrastination or plain lazy?

It is 160 days since I wrote on this blog. Not a very happy thing as far as I am concerned. It is another matter what others think when they come to this blogger page and find that nothing is added. But will they? Have they? No idea. Funnily my intentions are honorable. Only thing is that I am incapable of putting my ideas on the paper. Come to think of it, is it the reason that I am unable to write?
There was a time when I was making notes on odd sheets of paper or there was another time when I used to keep a small note book in my pocket. Whatever I find interesting, pathetic, sad, happy, funny, in other words, something worth noting and sharing with others, I was noting down. Many a times, it was being very useful during my days of active writing.
The Murphy's law... yes, I am remembering him a lot nowadays. There is a saying in Kannada. The availability of nuts to a toothless person and a person with teeth is deprived of nuts. Ooh, I am going nuts. The simile is given because of situation of mine. I remember the days when no one was ready to publish my works and I was forced to become a publisher. If you can't lick them, join them.
Today I have at least 2 publishers whom I can request to publish my works and I have full faith that they would oblige. I know at least two more who could be coaxed!
But... the big BUT is that I can't write. Can't could be a misnomer. I can write, but I won't would be a better of choice of words.
To catch upon an earlier sentence, during my early writing days, I was using pen and paper or diary (This was my favourite thing. Many a times, though the subject could have been expanded, as the diary's last page was reached, I have cut down the story. May be this is the reason my stories have got a O. Henry-ish touch!!).  Today, I love to use my computer and the phonetic keyboard for the 'writing'.
I am a Kannada writer, remember?
To choose a diary with lot of lines, a page a day was fun. Choosing a fountain pen to write was another enjoyment. Sometimes, the color of the ink was also counted.
Now all these things are things of the past. Is that why I am not able to write?
Hey, the new year 2014 is approaching! I can take up a new resolution. I shall write at least a page per day. That way I will have 365 pages of writing. Each page in a computer would be two pages. That means 730 pages ... hmm.. if each book is of 150 pages, then at least 5 books for 2014? Suppose I double it the next year? 10 books? or one magnum opus of 1500 pages like all these newbies writing a big novel in 3 parts?
Ha... idea is nice. Putting it into action is a problem, which I have to, of course, overcome.
Let us see!

Boredom

There is a sentence people say when they don’t feel like doing anything, ‘I am bored’.

What is boredom? When we feel like doing nothing at all. At such times we don’t feel like eating, watching, drinking, thinking or even lying down.

Best way to ‘kill’ boredom is to watch something moving. Yes, for example, if we have a trough with fish, we could ‘kill’ hours together just watching their movements.

It is one of the best methods to remove one’s boredom. The incessant movement of fish, their fight for food, survival.. all these would make us feel fascinated.

I have had a big cement tank full of guppy fish. The fish were caught in canal of dirty water near my house. I am talking about 1970’s when I was a teenager. The fish were very colorful. Especially the male ones. The top fin and the tail were in multicolours. Against the male, the female guppies were very plain. How did we find out which one was male and which one was the female?

Good question! The female fish would have their tummy swollen and they were laying eggs. So, it was easy to recognize them. We (I, my sisters, my cousin Venkatesh) used to remove the ‘pregnant’ fish from the tank and place it in a ‘Horlicks’ bottle. After the eggs hatched, we let the small baby fish into the big tank. We had to take a precaution though. We put back the mother and the baby fish during the night when the other fish were asleep. Otherwise the other big fish ate away the small baby fish ‘thinking’ that it was their food!

Food, yes! We were going for hunting of worms for the fish apart from the regular powdered fish food. We went back to the dirty water canal with a bottle and a few small sticks. The red coloured worms used to get stuck to some part of water and were wavering. we happily took those worms using a stick or two and dump them in our bottle.

Much to my mother’s annoyance we were doing this regularly! Her thinking was that the dirty water is unhygienic and could get us some incurable diseases!

But all the scoldings were put behind when we used to watch the fish jump against each other to catch hold of the worms (reddish orange in colour) when we lowered the worms into the big fish tank.

We were always at the fish tank watching the fish. Though we knew that the coloured fish are the male ones, we had named them Hema Malini, Rekha, Jyothilakshmi (a famous cabaret dancer of those days!).

Boredom could be removed by even sitting in a park and watching cute little children play. Try to follow one child’s antics in a park and you will agree with me that the boredom vanishes by watching cute children.

Hardships and family

After a long time I felt like writing again. Life is full of ups and downs which are unexpected. For example, we feel the vehicle in which we are travelling is moving smoothly from a long time. Out of the blue, there is a road block in front of us.

What will happen to the vehicle? It has got to stop. Whether we like it or not. If the vehicle stops, the destination cannot be reached when we are planning to reach. This leads to many other complications.
We need to search for a place to eat, before that something to eat and of course, other paraphernalia would follow.

But if there is no change, life is not called life. It would be horribly routine. Human nature is such a thing that it gets adjusted to any situation. Only thing is the mind or what we call manassu in Kannada. We need to buy courage from somewhere if we do not have in us.

We have all must have the ad for some aerated drink. The hero asks, ‘Do you have it in you?’

The ‘it’ here means courage . Only the courage can make us go through all the obstacles. Of course, the support from the fellow travelers is a must.

There is a song in Kannada. For the chariot called life, which has to go on the roads of hardships and smoothness, it needs two wheels. The husband and the wife.

Of course, this is for the married couple.

For the young people who are still studying, if they want to take up  a bold step, it is the parents who have to understand their kid’s requirement and desire and act upon it in favour of the kid.

Then the kid would be happy to go forward and he/she would never forget the help extended by the parents. Tell me, who else the kids can go for any help? Obviously the parents.

The trust, the friendship, the love and affection among the family members make the whole thing a dream sail.

Let’s try to fight the hardships together.

"I spy you!" - 78

Vasupradha’s heart stopped for a moment and started beating fast. That means there are no more nightmares for Amruta. She can be very comfortable in her life. Her tormentor has been jailed! That’s good news!

Now she turned towards Durjaya and asked “What other news you have?”

Durjaya hesitated and went on swallowing many a times.

“Hey, did you make any mistake in life?” she asked anxiously.

He seemed to have a hold on himself once she had uttered this sentence. “Yes! I have made the biggest mistake in my life!” he said and sighed. But his eyes were bright.

“So, who is the lucky girl?” she immediately guessed and banged on his back.

He said “Ouch!” and got up and stood in front of her and said, “Yes, I have been engaged to be married”

Vasupradha smiled. Her happiness was genuine because she really liked Durjaya, like her own younger brother.

“My marriage has been fixed with Jyothi. I am cordially inviting you in advance to my marriage. So, don’t give any reasons. You have to come please!” said in an imploring voice.

“How do you expect me to escape attending my younger brother’s wedding? I am there for all the three days” she said.

“Ok, ok. You can come for three days. But the marriage is a simple affair of a day, that’s all” he said with some hesitation.

“That’s ok. We should save money. Throwing money for a lavish marriage is not a good idea anyway” she said and added “I am happy for you. Where is the wedding?”

“In the temple near our office. The girl Jyothi recently joined and we hit it off from the first day!” he said with a blush.

“Oh, love marriage! I love love marriages!” she exclaimed and suddenly became quiet. What was she saying? Was that on her mind all this time? Was she thinking of a love marriage with Pushpahaasa? Oh God, this man’s shadow leaves me only when I die.

She got up and went to her cupboard and found a box.

She came to Durjaya and gave him the box and said, “This is a small gift from my side” she said.

“Hey elder sister! Don’t try to escape coming just because you have given a gift” said Durjaya, though accepting the box.

“No, no I will come” she said and asked, “You said three news. I heard two. What is the third one?”

“Oh no, it is a mistake. No more news” he said. By the way he uttered those words, she knew he was hiding something.

“What is it?” she asked sharply. But immediately she regretted her tone. But Durjaya did not seem to mind.  “Nothing special elder sister. Someone enquired about you” he said and added, “Pushpahaasa”

"I spy you!" - 77

But she was sure that Amruta was definitely been mistaken. Any day, Purshpahaasa was a gentleman and he would definitely not hurt Amruta.

Another doubt crept into her mind. If she is saying that Pushpahaasa attacked her, then where is SahishNu? She was sure that she saw him driving towards Amruta’s house. Is she getting confused between Pushpahaasa and SahishNu? It can’t be. Though both have the same build and handsome features, how could Amruta not recognize the father of her child? This one thing Vasu could not fathom.

Or was it her subconscious mind which is giving a wrong description? She does not want to believe that the man who sired her child could be bad? She must have had some hallucinations to give the wrong description.

Deciding on that she heaved a sigh of relief. The next moment another doubt haunted her. Had he come by any chance? May be he was following SahishNu. Why should he follow SahishNu?

All questions and no answers.

Most of her questions were answered by Durjaya’s next visit. He came as a breeze on a day when Vasupradha was hot and bothered. She did not know what to do. Amruta had become moody. She even pushed Vaasu when he went near her.

“Ammu! He is only a kid. If you are not feeling well, please tell me. I will take care of him” said Vasu and picked the crying child.

Amruta was as usual was somewhere else mentally. Vasu wondered whether she needed some psychiatric treatment when Vaasu was born. She had heard that there were many women who had a weak mind during delivery would behave very strangely and could be even dangerous.

She was contemplating whether to take Amruta to the State capital and get her see a psychiatrist.

She coaxed Amruta to start. But Amruta was strangely being rude. Vasu was thinking – Oh God, what a situation! Looks like Ammu needs a visit to the psychiatrist. But she is not budging.

When she was so down and out that she did not see Durjaya entering the house. He had come and silently sat next to her on the Deevan.

After watching Vasupradha for two minutes, he touched her shoulder.

Vasupradha almost jumped out of her skin. She moved her hand to hit out the attacker. Durjaya deftly caught her hand, faced her and smiled at her.

Vasupradha forced a smile on her face. After two minutes it dawned to her that the person who came was Durjaya. She had no right to treat him like that. She suddenly got up and rushed to the kitchen and prepared coffee and brought two cups along with kODu baLe in a plate. “Oh elder sister! I had forgotten the taste of this!” he exclaimed after eating one kODu baLe in one go.

Vasupradha smiled and asked him how he was. “I am fine. I have two news for you...” he said and then said, “No three! First the official news. There is this guy SahishNu.... he has been arrested and I am sure he would go be in jail for the rest of his life!” 

"I spy you" - 76

Vasupradha’s mind was in turmoil. What to do now? She felt that Amruta would be in trouble and needs her to be present.

She took some more minutes to think and looked out. As luck would have it, there was no one to mind the class during her absence.

She was very worried about Amruta. But she could not do anything. Added to this, a kid was little home sick and she had to give extra time to take care of the kid.

When the time came to close the school for the day, she was thankful and rushed home. Vaasu seemed to know her tension and kept silent.

She reached home and called Amruta. She was not seen anywhere.

She suspected that Amruta must have been taken a prisoner by SahishNu. Vasu was at a loss not knowing what to do.

Vaasu started making small noises which made Vasu to forget other things. She went to the kitchen and found that the food was prepared. Vasu frowned. The food was quite hot.

Does that mean Amruta was here all this time? Does that mean SahishNu did not come here immediately? Or did he come just before Vasu entered the house and took away Amruta? What would have done with Amruta? Suppose something had happened to her, what would happen to Vaasu?

The questions started swirling in Vasu’s head. But she removed her thoughts and fed Vaasu and after playing with him for a few moments, she put him to sleep.

She was not able to eat anything though she was hungry. She sat on a chair next to the bed of Vaasu and kept a hand on his chest so as to make him sleep well.

At that silent moment she heard a faint sound. Or was it loud enough for her to hear? She could not know. She got up quietly and went to the back of the house from where she was getting the sound.

When she saw the body lying in the bushes, she gasped for air. There, in the bushes, was lying Amruta’s body.

Body? She rushed nearby and found with a sigh of relief that Amruta was alive. She rushed back to the kitchen and brought a utensil full of water and sprinkled the water on Amruta’s face.

She whimpered and tried to get up. She was feeling the back of her head. Vasu touched the back of Amruta’s head and she found some blood stuck to her hand.

She forced Amruta to get up and slowly took her inside and made her to sit on the chair. With the help of an antiseptic lotion, she washed the back of Amruta’s head. The blow was bad. But not very bad to make her get admitted to the hospital.

Amruta opened her eyes and smiled feebly at Vasu. She tried to tell something. But Vasu tried to shush her. Amruta was eager to say something. “It is the same person. He attacked me again!”

Vasu could not believe her ears. What did she mean? Pushpahaasa? Was he the attacker? She was perplexed to even think further. The name hidden in her heart’s depth had surfaced again!!

The continuation

What was I saying?
Yes, the suspense!
If we do not get answers to the mysteries which were spread in front of us during the beginning of a movie or a novel, the story is tend to be called a failure.
To avoid that, we should write with the end in mind. Once we decide the way we would end the story, then we can keep on asking ourselves, how and why.
The whys would lead us to imagine the situation. The hows would make us build the logic.
Take for example, my novel "I spy you!"
I wrote an eerie (or what I thought as eerie) scene to evince interest in the readers.
I had to give a few twists or tie a few knots so that those could be undone by the end of the story.
But come to think of it, as I have come to the end of the novel, now I am finding that I have gone overboard about the sequences. Now I have to tone down the scenes. But I need to ensure that the interest does not get waned.
Quite a balancing act I have to do. Right?
Let me see how I would succeed!

Just for practice!

No, No, I am yet to continue my novel, I spy you! Why have I not written? well, I do not know how to take it forward!!!
I came up to some level. Now, I have to give a twist to the story. But my mind is blank.... No, it is not! It is cluttered.
See, I started with some idea. I had even envisioned the end of the novel. But there are some ifs and buts...
For a suspense novel, the artery is the logic. If I have created a few scenes only to evince interest in the reader and if I do not give a plausible, understandable, acceptable solution - then the story falls flat.
Remember some of the old suspense movies?
The heroine starts walking like a zombie in the forest in the middle of the night. The hero, aghast (and may be scared) follows her. The heroine sings and floats. She comes in front of a closed gate and it opens by itself. The story continues and we come to know that she was not a ghost and was made to act. what happened next? Suspense............................

"I spy you!" - 75

It had started as any other day.  She had become the most sought after teacher in Bhavishya. Kids were attracted by her way of treating them. Vasu Teacher was her name in the school.

She was eager to get Vaasu into the school. He had just started walking. He was speaking 2 letter words. Amma, atthe etc.,

“He is too small to come to your school Vasoo!” Amruta used to laugh when Vasu showed interest to take him to school. She had grown very fond of him.

That day Vaasu was making a lot of fuss and Amruta was exasperated. She suggested Vasu to carry him to the school. The boy suddenly became quiet and came with Vasu as if he could not stay at home.

Vasu was surprised with this because generally the boy was fond his mother.

Vasu took Vaasu along with her to the school.

While passing the main road, she came across a big car. By chance she saw who the driver was. She could not believe her eyes. It can’t be true! She had seen him falling on the ground in front of her eyes.

How come he is alive and kicking?

By instinct she hid herself from his stare. It was good to hide from him, she thought, not actually knowing why.

The car zipped past towards her house. Is it going to her home? She thought for a moment and the next moment all the color must have drained from her face. He is going to meet Amruta, his wife, the mother of his child!

She thought of going back. But she had to go to Bhavishya that day at any cost since the assistant whom she had employed was not coming that day and she had to be in school.

She prayed that there won’t be any problem for Amruta. She reached her school, put Vaasu down and made a call to Amruta. But to her dismay Amruta’s phone was switched off.

For obvious reasons, thought Vasu. Is SahishNu harming her? Has he come back to take revenge on her?

She remembered vividly the scene when he had fallen in her house. Wait a minute! Did she see him die?

No! She was informed by Amruta that his body has been disposed off.

Does that mean that Amruta was telling a lie? If so, did she make a mistake in disbelieving Pushpahaasa when he had made odd remarks about Amruta?

Her head started reeling with all these confusions.  Somehow Vasupradha was sure that she did not make a mistake about Amruta and she was also sure that Pushpahaasa was utterly wrong about his opinion on Amruta.

But when she just espied SahishNu, her thinking process started suspecting Amruta. Who is the liar?  Was Amruta a liar? Or Pushpahaasa was right about Amruta? What was the truth?

"I spy you!" - 74

She had no time to think of it further since she was nearing the library. There was an old lady of about 50+ standing outside.

She smiled at Vasupradha and said “Vasu?”

Vasu was surprised for a second and then smiled and said, “Amruta has given my complete description, I suppose?”

“Of course! She did full justice to your description, please come” she smilingly said and got two chairs placed in front of the library.

“Let us enjoy the sunlight. Few days are left” said the librarian.  “My name is Savitha” she introduced herself. She held Vasupradha’s hand for a moment and sat on the chair.

“Few days are left for what Madam?” asked Vasupradha, settling in the chair opposite.

“My retirement” Savitha smiled. Then in a serious tone said, “I need someone to take care of my kids” Looking at the surprised expression of Vasupradha, she laughed and said, “I have a small school of very small children. They are so small to join even LKG. I want to take care of them, tend them to make them the best citizens of this country” the last sentence was uttered with a lot of seriousness.

“Tell me Madam. I was getting bored. Probably your proposition interests me” Vasupradha said smilingly.

“Yes! Amruta is right!! This smile is what I was looking for!” said Savitha, leaned forward and patted Vasupradha on her shoulder.

The next part of the discussion was the paraphernalia. Once she understood what things she had to carry out, Vasupradha took leave and went home.

Amruta was feeding Vaasu. “So, Vasoo, how did you like Savitha madam? Did you accept her offer?” the eagerness was very high in Amruta’s voice.

Vasu just nodded and smiled.

Another day passed. Vasupradha prepared some charts and made some dolls out of paper, wire etc., and left to meet Savitha.

Savitha approved all the things brought by Vasupradha and took her to a small building which was in a valley. It was a very lovely building. There was a good amount of protection round the building.

Vasupradha fell in love with the kids too. They were both naughty and intelligent. After getting assured that the kids are in safe hands, Savitha left. There was a temporary staff who had come from a foreign country showed all the things Vasupradha was to carry out and left.

Vasupradha’s life fell into a pattern. She was very eager to reach the school which was called ‘Bhavishya’. The kids also welcomed her with open arms. She had no time to think of anything, anybody, yes, even Pushpahaasa.

The time flew. Each year new kids joined and the grown up kids left ‘Bhavishya’ smarter. Everything was smoothly going on until that day out of the blue SahishNu appeared there!

"I spy you!" - 73

“Hey Vasoo! You are here only physically. What’s wrong with you? You are like a zombie since you came back” Amruta was shaking Vasu.

Vasu came out of her reverie. She was like this ever since she came back from Pushpahaasa’s clutches. Clutches? What are you thinking Vasupradha? Are you crazy? When did he hold  you in his clutches? It is you who was obsessed with him!... scolded her conscience.

She did not dare to reply to it. Come to think of it, it is already 6 months since she came back. Good thing she came back on time! Amruta was almost ready to deliver when she came to her home.

Home! Yes, she felt at peace at least by the lovely environment. She had just contacted Durjaya, who came running when he heard where she was. They talked for almost a day. This must have made Amruta very annoyed. She showed it in her action that she did not like Durjaya. Oh, she doesn’t like anyone else talking to me, thought Vasu.

Not even once the mention of Pushpahaasa was done. Vasupradha was very clear. Durjaya was welcome, only if he keeps her place as a secret.

Her resignation was accepted. She stapled the pages of her life spent with Pushpahaasa. No one should know what exactly transpired between them. It was something which she cherished. She did not want to share with anyone. She knew that it won’t last beyond the mission. She had saved some of her self-esteem by cutting short the stay with him.

Amruta had given birth to a boy. A lovely boy! Vasu took care of the kid and mother to the fullest extent. She felt so happy to be back. The boy became 6 months old. Amruta called her son as Vaasu, as a tribute to her friend Vasu.

Durjaya stayed for a day and left. Though Vasupradha felt bad about his departure, Amruta seemed to rejoice it.

“He is a good person Amruta!” Vasu told her about Durjaya. Amruta did not seem to care about his good virtues. As far as she was concerned he was hogging all the time of Vasu whenever he was in contact with her.

Durjaya had told about Mr. Padmanabha. He seemed to have missed his able assistant Vasupradha. He was appreciating her it seemed.

Vasupradha had just smiled. The time was moving quite fast.

“I am bored. What do I do?” asked Vasu.

Amruta who was feeding her child said, “Why don’t you go to the library which is nearby?”

Vasu thought that it was a good idea. She walked the distance. The weather was very pleasant. She remembered the day when she was about to fall off a cliff and how Amruta saved her. Her heart filled with gratitude towards Amruta. She is a very good woman, thought Vasu.

She suddenly remembered. But why did she give the description of Pushpahaasa as her attacker?

"I spy you!" - 72

She was in a pensive mood that day. She decided to go to Amruta. Well, job is not life. There is life beyond job. When that is so, why struggle? If some drama was to take place, it has taken place. So, the people who were supposed to believe that they are a much married happy couple, they would have definitely believed by now.

“Hey, what is the matter?” asked Pushpahaasa coming from behind and put his steely arms around her neck. His strong chin was resting on Vasupradha’s head. His breath was surrounding Vasupradha’s head. Vasupradha felt hot.

She immediately looked around to see whether someone was observing from the windows. Generally the love scenes were ‘enacted’ whenever they were sure that somebody was watching them on the sly.

“Why? can’t I hold you or touch you when no one would be watching?” whispered Pushpahaasa in her ear. She became very hot in the face. She gently pushed him and got up.

“I want to go. I have some urgent work” she said.

“What is so urgent? We are about to close our mission. Let us carry out till the end” he said and tried to pull her to him.

But she was somehow in a very different mood. Amruta’s words were ringing in her ears. She was pregnant. She was craving to see her. But this job had chained her to this place.

“Where are you going?” he asked little high handedly.

This raised her anger. I may love him, but he has not bought me! She thought and said, “My friend is not well. I need to go”

“Oh, boyfriend or girlfriend?” he asked. But his tone was not liked by Vasupradha.

“Does it matter to you?” she asked stiffly and tried to walk away. He caught her in his arms.

“Are you referring to Amruta?” he asked casually. She pushed him away and looked at him with angered eyes and said, “Are you spying on me? Did I spy on you any day?”

He laughed. It sounded as if he was mocking her.

“That lady is no good. Don’t contact her. You will find yourself in trouble” he said in a warning tone.

That was the last straw!

“Look Mr....! I may not be a great judge of characters like some people. But I know Amruta well. I am sure you are wrong about her” she said emphatically and sat on a chair biting her nails.

“I hope you don’t end up in any problem” he muttered and asked her, “Are you leaving now? I can drop you to the railway station”

That was the moment she decided that she won’t see him again. She had to keep her self esteem to some extent at least. “I am leaving. And I am not coming back. You are a senior. I will hand over my resignation to you” she said and packed her things fast and left alone slamming the door. 

"I spy you!" - 71

She was facing this dilemma during two times. One – when she was with him, two – when she was not with him!

The truth hit her like a big bag of ice falling on her head. She is not a hypocrite as far as Pushpahaasa is concerned. She was always liking him... liking...? no, she was loving him. She was ready to do anything for him. She could not think ill of him. Was that the reason that she did not believe when Amruta took his name as her attacker?

Whatever he did, was it acceptable to her? She did not dare to reply her mind. The heart had decided to go with him.

“Please!” she told in a protesting voice when she saw him getting ready to sleep.

“What?” he asked. Did she heard a hint of laughter in his voice? She could not fathom.

“That... I don’t like” she pointed to him. He looked at himself with surprise.

“What..? what you don’t like?” he asked with such an innocent voice that she felt her ears, cheeks burning hot.

“Please wear some more clothes while we ‘live’ together!” she gave emphasis to the word ‘live’.

He laughed loudly. It must have been heard by the people in the opposite side. He had stripped down to his shorts. He was topless. His sinew muscles had her heart racing. But the worst part was when he came near and held her from behind.

She tried to struggle and suddenly stood still since he bent to put his mouth to her ear and said, “I can see 2 shadows. Probably they are spying on us. We have to continue this charade for their sake”

She blushed very naturally, because his hot breath was tickling her ear and the nape of her neck.

Only after he ensured that no one was watching, he let her go.

This continued for about... how many days?... gosh, 6 months, she thought on that particular day.

She was not sure how Amruta was doing?

She had called once from a public booth.

“Oh Vasoo, where are you? I miss you a lot!” Amruta mentioned in a whining voice.

“What baby you got?” Vasu asked.

“Oh Vasoo, have you lost track of time or what? I am about to deliver. May be within a week. I wish you were here during the delivery of the baby” said Amruta in a sad voice.

I must have really lost track of the time. She and Pushpahaasa acted as a very much married couple for the sake of the onlookers who could be spying on them.

But the sense of time had left Vasupradha. If Amruta was pining for her, it is better to go. But the job is not yet over. I wish I could go away thought Vasupradha without knowing that her wish was about to be fulfilled. But the circumstance.... it was not a very pleasant one.

"I spy you!" - 70

Vasupradha looked at Pushpahaasa immediately. She wanted to know how he reacts when he confronts such a situation. After all, we have to learn something from our known persons.

His face was expressionless. But he was alert, which she could see.

“Why do you think so Adhokshaja... Gadaadhara?” he addressed both the young men.

The way the people of the two houses behaved did raise suspicion.

“They are too normal.... You know what I mean... it is never like a regular house where there will be bickering, talking back etc., Here everything goes too smoothly. It is almost as if they don’t want anyone to even check them. The other day Gadaadhara went to ask for a glass of milk since the milk at home had gone bad....” said Adhokshaja.

Gadaadhara took over from there. “The house has only men. I have not seen them going out of the house at any time.”

“How did you check that?” enquired Pushpahaasa immediately. Gadaadhara said that when he went there to ask for milk, they did not allow him inside. He was even gently pushed back when he tried to step in.

“If they have no problem, then what is the wrong in going into their house?” asked Adhokshaja.

“Some people are very private. So they don’t allow outsiders” Vasupradha tried to justify.

“No madam” said Adhokshaja and turned to Gadaadhara and told him, “Tell about what you got a glimpse of”.

“Oh yes, probably they did not expect me. When they saw me in the door, they carried something inside in a jiffy. Somehow it gave me an impression that it is an electronic device”

“What type of device?” asked Vasupradha.

“Lot of wires hanging around it...” Gadaadhara told in a hush-hush tone. “Is it a bomb?” asked with his eyes wide open.

“Hello, don’t you see movies?” teased Pushpahaasa. His voice had become milder observed Vasupradha. “We don’t know what it is with your description, but let me check” said Pushpahaasa getting up. So the youth got up.

“Will you tell the police yourself?” asked Adhokshaja. Pushpahaasa just nodded his head and opened the door and looked on both sides. “No one is here. You may leave. Don’t tell anyone. If you see something, please tell me!”

The command in his voice made those two young men to agree, thought Vasupradha.

Once they went off, Pushpahaasa closed the door, turned to Vasupradha and said, “Our job starts. We need to act. I am sure they would be observing us” and he walked near to her and held her from behind. Vasupradha’s heart stopped for a moment and started beating fast!

Oh God! Why am I feeling uncomfortable? Was it not the same I was always craving for?

"I spy you!" - 69

Now Vasupradha observed them. They were a pair of very young men. Might have been about 19 year old. Tall and well built. One was with a moustache and a day or two’s beard. The other was clean shaven and good looking. Vasupradha thought both of them were good looking and handsome in their own way.

“Now, can you tell me the meaning of your sudden barging in?” asked Pushpahaasa in a very severe tone. Even Vasupradha found that she shivered at the sharpness of his voice.

The boys (Yes, somehow Vasupradha felt that they looked like two boys who had lost their way and got stranded there!) looked as if they have been hit by a sharp arrow. She felt sad that both of them looked as if they were about to cry. Only thing was that they did not cry. Within a second or two they started looking defiant.

“I asked you who are you and what are you doing here?” asked Pushpahaasa with the same rough tone but there was a little softness in the voice now.

“My name is Adhokshaja” said the young man with moustache,  “And his name is Gadaadhara”.

“So, can you please give me the reason for your sudden appearance in our home?” repeated Pushpahaasa stressing each word.

Both of them looked at the windows. Vasupradha felt that they were trying to see whether their pursuers are still behind them.

It looked Adhokshaja was the talkative of the two. He mentioned that they are from a northern state and they have come here to try for a job.

“What job?” asked immediately Pushpahaasa.

“Medical representatives” said Adhokshja.

“What job your friend would do if he does not even open his mouth” told Pushpahaasa with sarcasm.

The other boy Gadaadhara looked as if he has been shot at. He opened his mouth to tell something. But Adhokshaja touched him on his thigh and motioned him to keep quiet.

“So, what’s the reason? Are you the only one who knows to talk tactfully? Is that why you are asking him to be silent?” Pushpahaasa threw barbed questions.

“No uncle, nothing like that” Adhokshaja opened his mouth. He had a very pleasant voice.

“I will tell uncle” said Gadaadhara.          

The two could tell a queer story. They lived in the outhouse. They felt that the house in front of theirs and the next house were having some people who were not at all friendly. They were always trying to spook these two boys.

Pushpahaasa was a little skeptical in the beginning. But his face grew serious as the boys narrated their experiences.

“We have a doubt that the people in the two houses do not have good intentions uncle. Looks like they are up to some nefarious activities” said Gadaadhara with his eyes wide open.

"I spy you!" - 68

She wanted to tease him. “What is etc.,?" she asked. Her voice was out of breath. The man of her dreams is actually touching her, being intimate with her. Even a little earlier on this day, she wouldn’t have dreamt about it.

“I will wash the utensils. I will wash my clothes. May be you help me in keeping the place clean and of course, I hope you can wash your clothes!” there was a smile in her voice.

The arms were still on her shoulders. Her heart beat was so fast that she hoped against hope that it won’t be heard by him.

Suddenly he separated from her and stepped away and kept a distance of 2 feet between them. She became very disappointed and angry. Disappointed that he was no longer touching her and angry on herself for having the feeling of disappointment.

What is happening to her? Why can’t she consider him as another colleague, say like Durjaya. Her lovelorn heart slapped her mind saying that even to compare the two is a sin. She considered Durjaya as a young brother. But she could not think of doing like that with Pushpahaasa.

Zaalim mohabbat bhi kya chaal chal gayi.... the treacherous love has played such a move in her life’s chess game... really very sad state of affairs.

She did not hear any of the words he uttered till they reached the house.  Her mind was admonishing her heart for this hopeless situation. She has to be strong, she thought.

Once they neared the house, he suddenly came nearer to her and put his long, strong arm very lovingly on her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Her heart went for a toss. What is happening? Why this sudden change of moods?

Then she realized and felt dismayed. He was playing his part of ‘husband’ to the core. They are in front of their ‘house’. In case if there were prying eyes, they would be hoodwinked with this intimacy.

He opened the lock holding her little tightly at her waist. She felt searing heat where his hand touched her. It was almost that he left his hand impression there. But the moment the house was closed from inside he stepped away from her.

She was confused, but then she remembered that he was married. So, naturally he did not want to take advantage when they were alone. Actually she was supposed to appreciate his action and thank him, instead she was feeling cheated!

She did not know what she would have uttered, if there was no sound on the door. It was a loud bang on the door, as if they were very keen and in a hurry to get inside.

Vasupradha became very alert. She looked out for Pushpahaasa. He too was looking at the door very cautiously. He signaled her to open the door. She went soundlessly and opened the door. Two people rushed in as if someone is pursuing them!

Both of them were stopped by the stretched hand of Pushpahaasa. Both of them stopped as if hit against a rock.

Pushpahaasa pushed them and brought them to two single sofas and made them sit.

"I spy you!" - 67

“Hey! What happened? Let me in!” said a man’s voice... manly voice which she immediately recognized.

This man! He has the power to make my life go topsy-turvy! All my sharpness seems to vanish when this man is in my vicinity! Vasupradha thought. But he just barged in and closed the door as if someone was following him.

She was still in the dazed condition due to the nightmare and his sudden and unexpected return. She was surprised to see him carrying two suitcases.

It was at that moment it dawned to her that ‘he’ was going to be her ‘partner’!

Her heart stopped for a moment and started beating fast! It is a sort of dream come true! If she puts two and two together, he and she have to work as a team... as husband and wife... a charade for the sake of onlookers! Even if it is not a real one, the drama itself is acceptable.... ooh! Pushpahaasa all for myself!

‘So, you are going to carryout ‘all’ the duties of a wife?’ teased her inner voice. She could not reply. She can’t do whatever she is supposed to do! it is a make believe drama. So, she need not surrender herself to him.

But... but... she thought, there is only one bedroom! What is the sleeping arrangement? It was as if she was doing a double role of a good girl and a bad girl. Good one wanted him to stay away from her physically. The bad girl wanted to spend each moment staying as near to him as possible.

He solved the issue very simply. He selected the Diwan at one corner of the hall to sleep. Only his clothes were kept along with hers.

“No one should suspect that we are play acting!” he started saying and stopped. He did a methodical search for the presence any bug. Though he looked satisfied, he suddenly took her arm and led her to the bathroom. She was shaking with fear, apprehension and thrill.

But she need not have worried. He was more interested in talking to her some basic rules. He turned on the shower and the tap in the sink. Above those to noises he said, “I will sleep in the hall! The window curtains would be drawn tightly and no one would suspect that we are sleeping separately. But once you get up, I will go and sleep on the bed in the room”

She understood and was barely able to nod. Her whole self was gone somewhere! Such a proximity with the loved one, especially when least expected!

They locked the house and walked hand in hand towards a restaurant. Vasupradha badly wanted to pinch herself to know whether it is for real or not. But she knew that he was playing his role. They had sumptuous food in the restaurant. She observed that he did not make small talk. Was there a hesitation in him? May be! She could not get any more impression than that.

They came out of the restaurant and walked towards home. He stopped and turned towards her, put his long and strong arms over her shoulders and said, “If you don’t know cooking, I shall prepare. You can help me in doing jobs like cutting the vegetables etc.,”

"I spy you!" - 66

He nodded his head when she gave him the address. She was eager to know what his job was in this town. She was hoping again and again, is he going to be my partner? Would not be a dream-come-true for me if it is so?

She made all sorts of promises to the God. If Pushpahaasa became her partner for this assignment, she would enjoy every moment as if it would never happen again. She would allow him to do whatever he wanted to do with her.

‘This is very unjust thinking Vasupradha!’ her alter ego shouted. This can’t happen! You can’t be a doormat for someone else. You have your own life and self-esteem.

They caught an auto. When he told the address to the auto driver, she marveled at the deepness of his voice. So manly! How come God has given every beautiful thing to this one man!

The auto reached the destination. It was a single bedroom house. She went into the kitchen. She found everything available. She prepared tea and poured it in two glasses and collected a packet of biscuits she had found there and came to the hall.

He was sitting there on a chair. He was going through his mails using his iPhone.

She came and handed over a cup of tea. He absent mindedly drank it.

She sat in a chair next to his and sipped her tea. She also nibbled the biscuit. Her mind was in questioning her. Who is going to be her partner? Was she going to be there with that person (whoever it is) for a very long time? This man... has he come to drop me or has he some other hidden agenda to stay here? She did her minimum duty of a host by offering him tea and biscuits.

The time dragged.

He got up suddenly and said, “Please lock the door!” and went out closing the door. She slowly walked to the door and bolted it from inside. Now is the wait for the other person whoever it was.

Pushpahaasa went off as if his role is over, as if he has done is duty of reaching her safely to her destination. This is not fair! Her heart cried. But the man, her heart stealer was gone!

She went back to her chair and stretched her legs. She adjusted her backrest pillow to give some support to the back of her head and closed her eyes. She was thinking whether this was what she wanted in her life. Traveling to some strange place, ‘live’ with a stranger, risk the life in many ways.... she dozed off. She had no inkling of time. May be the bus travel had zapped her energy.

She was in deep sleep. She saw Pushpahaasa in her dream. Dream?.... no, it was a nightmare!

She was going on top of the hill alone. She suddenly slips and rolls down the hill. She grabs a branch of a tree and hangs on to her dear life. She was shouting for help. She saw Amruta coming from somewhere and throwing her belt to Vasupradha. Belt? Why it is not a dupatta?.... No! it was not Amruta, it was Pushpahaasa!

She got up with a start. Sweat was pouring out of forehead and back of her head. She became aware of a knock on the door. She got up unsteadily and opened the door.

It was dark and there was no light in front of the house. She could not make out who was standing at the door.  She tried to close the door and the person outside had put one foot inside!

"I spy you!" - 65

“Are you planning to stay in this jungle?” Pushpahaasa asked with a tinge of laughter in his voice. Vasupradha hurriedly got into the bus. Pushpahaasa walked in and Vasupradha followed him. The driver applied brakes suddenly and Vasupradha swayed and was about to fall down. But a pair of steel arms which she knew too well steadied her. She had no choice but to fall on his chest. She felt heavenly. But the next moment she found to her dismay that the other passenger in her double bed is Pushpahaasa himself!

He seemed to have understood her plight and let her sleep on the window side and he slept on the aisle side. She could not trust herself to be restraint in front of him. The tension in her was quite crackling. She was hoping against hope that she would not put her arm round his neck or on his chest!

Thankfully Purshpahaasa sorted out that problem in a simple way. He placed their luggage  between them. She could not even see him in total except for his face. The small light ray from the space between the two curtains was falling on his most good looking face. She must have fallen asleep only for a few minutes.

She heard him calling her name. The name sounded so sexy in his voice. ‘Hey Vasupradha! You are obsessed with him. That is why whatever he does sounds good for you. Oh, poor girl!’ teased her conscience.

She got up and sat now. The bus which had slowed down, now completely stopped.

Both of them got down the bus as the other passengers did. But it seemed their journey was not yet over. They were asked to wait for another bus which would take them to the destination city. After what seemed an eternity, the replacement bus came. They again went into the bus. As it was daylight no one went to sleep. Both Pushpahaasa and Vasupradha sat on the bed with their backs to the partition between the beds and legs stretched.

‘Why this man is coming with me? That too he joined somewhere in the midway. What is happening?’ she thought and stole a glance towards him. He was lost to the world. Must have been quite some time since he slept deeply. A smile danced on Vasupradha’s lips. He was getting cramped because he was quite tall for the stretch of the bed. She felt blood rush through her body. Oh God! This man is too good looking. Why is he coming in my life again? I was hoping that I would never see him again.  Whenever I see him I get the idea of having him for myself forever!

She was so muddled with her thinking that she lost the track of time. Again it was Pushpahaasa who woke her up.

“Did you I wake you up from your sweet dreams?” he asked in a very mild tone which almost caressed her.

She shook her head so wildly that she got hit by the rod which was behind their head.

He immediately pulled her towards him gently and rubbed the portion where she hit her head. Oh God, please don’t give me these things temporarily and pull them out from me! Her crazy mind was praying.

He stopped rubbing only after getting her assurance that nothing was wrong with her head.

She now wanted to know whether he knew the address she wanted to go. She was wondering who is going to be her mate in this charade? What was the result they are looking for?

"I spy you!" - 64

Sleeping in the A/c sleeper bus was a new experience to Vasupradha. She entered the bus and found that the bus had about 3 to 4 beds in two rows. One side double beds and on the other side one side single beds. Oh, there were both upper and lower berths.

Oh God! Which is my seat...? She thought as she entered inside. The booking was done by the office. To her horror she found that she was booked in the aisle side seat of a double bed!

Whose idea is that? She thought furiously and went to the driver to change the seating. But the driver asked her to go to the ticket booking office which was a little far away.

“Please come back fast! We are leaving almost immediately!” requested the driver. She walked fast towards the ticking office. The signals made her wait before she could cross the road. The booking clerk raised his hand showing helplessness.

“Sorry! No alternative” he said. Vasupradha asked him about her ‘bedmate’. The clerk told that he has no clue about the other passenger. He also suggested that once the person comes, she can change the ‘bed’ if the other person agrees.

So, they don’t even know whether the other person is a male or a female? But she had no time to think since frantic calls came saying that the bus is just waiting for Vasupradha to get in.

The bus moved and Vasupradha thankfully flopped on to the bed. Though her bed was on the aisle side, she decided to stay on the other bed since she had the support of the side of the bus was duplicating as ‘wall’ for her.

The bus sped on for some distance. Vasupradha’s eyes closed to drift into sleep though the mind was alert about her strange partner who did not show up even after 2 hours of travel. She suddenly woke up. She did not know what made her start like this. She could not sleep anymore.

She got out of her bed without knocking anyone and came to the door which separated the passengers from the driver. She opened it and came out. The driver was sitting at the steering wheel and driving the bus with full concentration.

She sat on the seat which was near the door and stared outside. The bus was surging forward putting back many trees. The big glass in front of her reminded her of a big movie screen. The fine dust particles were picked up by the high beams of the headlights of the bus.

The picture looked fascinating to Vasupradha and she was totally lost in it when it happened.

The driver had to stop the bus suddenly when a man came in front of the bus. Vasupradha who was watching the road from quite some time, could not understand why, of all the people, Pushpahaasa should be the one who was stopping the bus!

Yes, it was her dream man! He had forced the bus to stop. The driver who was already cursing Pushpahaasa under his breath now started making loud noises. But when Pushpahaasa came nearby his abuses came to a standstill as if a cat had bitten his tongue.

His right hand raised to salute Pushpahaasa. Vasupradha got down from the bus to give space to Pushpahaasa to get into the bus. He got in and looked at her.