What's her mistake ?- 26

I counted them. 3 men and 4 women. We went near them. The lady with pancreas cancer caught the attention of the seven people.

“Hello, we have one more entrant to our club. This is Damayanthi!” She introduced.

“Greetings to you all. I feel like taking attendance. Please don’t take any offence by my words. We are all sailing in the same boat. It is as if who is going to be the first in the race and who is the runner up, third place etc.,” Her words sounded very crude, but her broad smile made the whole set of people smile.

First man lifted his hand – “Renal Cancer”

Second man – “Lung cancer”

Third man hesitated. So the first woman said, “Ovarian cancer”

Second woman piped in “Bone cancer”

Third woman whispered “Laryngeal cancer”

The fourth woman said, “Liver cancer”

Dammu looked at her very keenly. She was a small woman. She was wearing a scarf.

Liver and breast? I wondered the pain she is undergoing.

A youth of about 23 years came there. “Ah, here comes the baby of our team!” said the pancreas cancer lady. “Damayanthi, he has blood cancer!” she declared.

The third man who hesitated earlier said in a very agitated voice, “ I have been diagnosed with testicular cancer”

Nammu Aunty suddenly went into the middle of the group and said, “I have tongue cancer”

My head was reeling. Here are just 10 people with different types of cancer. Oh God! This is a nightmare!

The man who hesitatingly declared that he has testicular cancer now spoke. “You can see madam, the variety of the disease of cancer. We all come from various backgrounds. Cancer is becoming a number one killer disease. It strikes all classes of people... irrespective of economic status” He paused for a moment and looked at me directly. “Young man, by God’s grace I think you are spared of this horrible pain. We have about 11 types of cancer in this small group. Can you imagine how many types of cancers may be there in this world?” He asked.

“You seem to have so much knowledge about cancer sir?”Dammu asked.

“Yes, there are at least 40 to 50 organs which are attacked by cancerous cells. I am an oncologist” he said.

I was looking at the irony of the nature. A cancer curing (at least trying to cure) doctor is attacked by cancer!

The lady with ovarian cancer now spoke. “We all should thank the oncologist here. The moment he came to know that he himself is attacked by cancer, he took it as a mission to put together all the people with cancer. He tries to give us little tips to get our pain reduced. As such some of us are not being treated well by our folks. Of course, there are some people who are in good hands. Like our madam with pancreas cancer. Her son and daughter adore her and are taking all possible steps” she turned towards the woman with pancreas cancer and smiled. She smiled back at the ovarian cancer affected woman.

“We all belong to various castes and groups. But we are having one mission. We have undergone treatment. Some people are lucky. For example, here the 23 year old young man, the baby of our team is cured from Blood cancer. But he still feels it is his duty to spend some time with us” said the oncologist.

The young man spoke now. “I am an engineering student. I was diagnosed with Blood cancer two years ago. I was admitted and treated for eight months. I am leading a normal life now. I am healthy. I am a computer engineer. But I should thank a foundation which is helping cancer affected people”

I started having hope. If this young man could be cured of blood cancer, why not Nammu Aunty?

But the oncologist who was looking at Nammu Aunty at the very moment said, “Madam! is the treatment given to you has made you feel better?”

Nammu Aunty moved her head giving a negative signal.

I was feeling very bad by her signal. Is the end inevitable? How soon? The question whirled in inside my head.

What's her mistake ? - 25

Dammu went and sat next to her and started moving her hand up and down her back. The woman seemed have become little pacified by Dammu’s silent action.

After a few minutes she wiped the tears which were running down her weak cheeks. Yes, the lady was very weak. Nammu Aunty and I were standing opposite them.

“Now tell me, what is the crying for? Are you happy to see me? Or are you unhappy that you saw me again?” Dammu asked in a casual manner. There was a tinge of teasing in her voice.

That lady turned to Dammu and hugged her. Then she said, “I am sorry that I was rude to you when I met with you in the cancer hospital. God punished me for making fun of your artificial breasts!” her voice choked again.

“Oh, come on! God gave me the original. Then the breasts were removed due to cancer. Now I am wearing the artificial breasts. You told the truth. But why you are feeling bad?” asked Dammu.

“Damayanti, I have been diagnosed with pancreas cancer” said the old lady in a low tone.

I felt pity for her. Nammu Aunty had become very dull. Dammu was her usual self. “Hey, you are saying as if you have common cold! Do you know it is very difficult to even reach the pancreas for any treatment? But you should not worry. Your son and daughter adore you!” she said.

The old lady seemed to have found her voice back. She nodded affirmatively.

“See, you have no worry in life. Your contacts are good. Meet some doctor who could give you some pain killers which help you to overcome the pain”

“You are right Dammu. I am one of those lucky ones. I am in fine hands. The kids treat me very well; I am being treated by one of the best oncologists. Of course, the grandchildren are making me feel like living for some more years. That is anyway not possible. I am just waiting for the call from HIM” she said and pointed her right point finger towards the sky.

“See Nammu, do you call her lucky that she has loving people around or unlucky because she has very less time to live?” Dammu asked looking at Nammu Aunty, but holding the pancreas cancer affected old lady lovingly with her right arm.

Nammu Aunty was just watching the pair. I felt I knew what she was thinking. One lady has all the love in the world  which Nammu Aunty was deprived of.  Her children treated her like rag. They simply are not caring to even communicate with her. So sad! The other (Dammu) was mentioning that she was pregnant. But what happened next... still not known to us.

The other lady smiled looking at Dammu’s face. “I still feel bad that when I learnt that you had cancer, I showed off that I am fine without any problem. But now I also have cancer” she said.

Dammu still was patting the back of that lady. “Don’t worry, you know very well that cancer is curable nowadays. It is not like olden days when a person was diagnosed with cancer, it was almost like writing that person’s death sentence!...” Dammu looked at Nammu Aunty and said, “Like I said, if we come to know about the symptoms of cancer in early stages, cancer can be cured. I hope that the educated people give courage to the uneducated by teaching them about cancer. I have seen a lot of ladies succumbing to breast cancer because they are shy to go to even a lady doctor!”

Nammu Aunty looked as if she is learning new lessons.

The other lady said, “Damayanthi, I want to you to meet some people who are sitting there.” I could see a few old men and women sitting and chatting at some distance.  “In fact, it is a club they have made bringing together people of this area who share the same taste” she ended her talk with a dry smile.

“Oh, is it a laughter club?” I asked, since I had seen some clubs like that.

“No young man! Cancer affected people’s club” she saidW h

What's her mistake ? - 24

The air was thick with tension. Nammu Aunty was looking very weak. I had forgotten to breathe. Is this someone’s life or a suspense story? I was wondering. If I was a writer and had written this as a novel, I would have called it bunkum. But this is someone’s real life. Dammu lived like a princess. She dared to do unconventional things (like sex without wedding). She found herself in impossible situations. Come to think of it! She had a rich father. She had a boyfriend from north with whom she slept and got the wrath of his parents and finally held captive in the house of her ‘husband’. Now the younger brother of her husband is helping her. Can she believe him?

Almost as if she read my mind, she said, “I wondered whether I should believe him? But the other options were not useful. If I am outside this haveli, I could try to escape and go back to my place. With this in my mind, I decided to leave with him”

Then she turned to Nammu Aunty and said, “Nammu, I was always adventurous and opportunities were thrown at me or I was thrown into some kind of adventure or other. I had this principle in my mind, when you are sure to be in trouble, why cry and clutter my mind? Instead I could try to come out of the problem, especially if my mind is clear without any self-pity thoughts”

Nammu Aunty just nodded. I could see that Nammu Aunty is quite tired. I think even Dammu must have sensed it. She said, “Nammu, have a good sleep. Let us talk tomorrow”

The day dawned beautifully. The sun was so beautiful! I had gone up the terrace to water the plants in the terrace garden. Dammu had tastefully got planted some exotic plants which needed good sunlight. I had totally immersed in the lovely hues of sunlight that I did not know that I had two people for company.

I found that Nammu Aunty and Dammu were standing beside me and enjoying the cool breeze and lovely sunrise. Nammu Aunty’s real short hair and Dammu’s artificial hair were flowing backwards with the breeze. I could see that both of them had forgotten the world. They were really happy to stand there and take in the nature their inside.

Actually, to see the beauty of the nature, we need not travel to the end of the world spending a fortune. Of course, if we have the extra money we could spend it! But the coolness of the breeze, orange and yellow of the Sun, the green of the trees around are the best pictures of nature we could watch from where we are!

“Nammu! Come here and have a look!” cried Dammu from the other end of the terrace. We went to the west side of the house. There was a park in the next road. We could see some aged women and men standing, sitting, walking etc.,

“Come Nammu, let us go and meet with them and talk to them. It would be interesting to see people of our age and exchange experiences!” said Dammu and took hold of Nammu Aunty’s hand and walked down the stairs. I followed.

We came out of Dammu’s house and went out of the gate and walked. Strangely, Nammu Aunty looked eager to walk. Is she the same person who was looking so fragile and unhealthy?

We reached the park. Dammu was looking around. I thought that she might be looking out for someone whom she knew.

“Hi, how are you?” she said touching a 60 year old woman on her shoulder.

The woman turned and saw Dammu.

To my amazement, the woman’s face lost color. She suddenly sat down on the bench behind her and started sobbing.

What's her mistake ? - 23

“Nammu! All this time I was not happy that I was pregnant. The unborn child which was the root cause for the death of my father directly because he died by hearing that I was pregnant. The same unborn child was also the reason for the death of my husband. I somehow had started hating the baby which was in my womb. But the moment the first wife of my husband wanted the child, I also started to crave for it. There was this wild streak in me which commanded me not to handover the kid to her. It is your kid, my inner voice announced...” She closed her eyes as if to relive the moment again, and said ”At that moment I decided to not to give the child to anyone else!”

Dammu decided to run away from her captivity. She was not in a town. She was in a big house somewhere in the wilderness in Northern part of India, God knows where. She knew no one there.

“It was a nightmarish 6 months I spent. I did not even get a chance to escape. My pregnancy had completed 32 weeks. The lady doctor who was coming to see me was kept under such a vigil that I could not convey any message to her” Dammu sighed.

Nammu Aunty was watching her with widely opened eyes.

“Sounds like Chandamama story Nammu? Well, when I think of it now, I also feel like that. But when I underwent that torture, it was unbearable. The growth of the baby was extraordinary. So my tummy was bloated. I had put on a lot of weight. I could not run away even if I wanted to!” Dammu laughed and both of us added our laughter to hers.

“Doctor did not become alarmed?” asked Nammu Aunty. I could barely able to catch her words. But I too had the same question on my lips.

“Oh no! those guys were not what to you call sophisticated. Come to think of it! Could she have been a trained, experienced nurse? May be. I was past beyond caring. But I wanted to take away the baby at whatever cost.”

“My husband’s parents did not come near me. Only the first wife visited me regularly. I could get some insight about their plight to have the baby. The first wife is the only child of her grandparents. Her parents had died. The grandparents are old and very rich. They had written all the property to the heir of my husband. The irony is that my husband never slept with his first wife. But he had made me a future mother. May be they were playing a deeper game. I did not know what their plot was till my husband’s younger brother told me secretly”

Oh, this story is so convoluted, I thought.

But Dammu had decided to pour out the whole thing to us.

“The grandparents were in a faraway place. So, I believe they sent rumors that my husband has come back. Also that now their granddaughter is pregnant with his child. I found that my husband’s first wife’s tummy was little round. It started growing month on month. Then I realized that they are playing the trick to the hilt. So, by the time I was eight months pregnant, even she had a big stomach as if she is also 8 months pregnant. ....”

Dammu was struggling with words, I could see that! May be the childbirth was a tough situation for her then. But where is the child now? The story she is telling is at least 25 years old. This means, she must have a son or daughter who is 24 years of age. Where is that person now? I could not help wondering. But my ears were straining to hear the next part of Dammu’s story.

She was preparing to tell the next part.

“Well, all these were known to me through my husband’s younger brother. May be he found that I am not happy staying here. May be he had some compassion towards me. May be he was in love with me!” Dammu laughed. “It was I think a Friday evening. My husband’s first wife had gone to the other end of the haveli where there was a temple of Kali. Suddenly my husband’s brother came and told, ‘Please pack your bare necessities. We are going’   I was surprised and suspicious. I asked him why the hurry and where are we going. He said, ‘my people may not allow you to live after the birth of the baby. So, if you want to stay alive, we have to leave from here before the baby is born. Are you comfortable to leave with me from here? He asked seriously”.

What's her mistake ? - 22

“They belonged to some big family somewhere in the North. They wanted an heir. When they found that I am pregnant with their son’s seed, they asked me to come to their place till the delivery. I said no. But it looked as if they were not ready to take no for an answer. I argued. You were talking about I getting married to your younger son. Then get him married and I am sure he will get a son. They said that they want the son of their eldest son only. I was not ready to accept this adamant arrangement. I told them in very plain terms to get out of my house”

Dammu had continued her narration. It looked as if she had undergone a lot of uphill tasks in her life. The way she continued her story, it should have some more twists and turns.

“Nammu!” Dammu spoke to Nammu Aunty holding her fragile hand, “When you see me smiling and joking, you won’t be able to see the torture I have undergone. Since I have to come out with the whole story at least to someone before I die, why not you two become my listeners? I am sure I won’t be able to tell the whole thing again to anyone else in this world!” she declared.

After that argument, there was a lull in Dammu’s life. Her husband’s parents and the younger brother had not gone out of the house. Dammu was unable to send them away since they begged to give them two more days. She did not see what was coming.

It was on the fourth day, at the middle of the night, there was a lot of noise in the house. Dammu got up with a fright and called for her servants. Unfortunately none of them replied. “My husband’s parents had sent away all of them” said Dammu sadly.

“They had arranged a car. They used some anesthetic to make me unconscious. Those were the days when the rich people were in full swing. They could get away with anything including murder. What they did was only kidnapping”

“What?” asked Nammu Aunty in a shocking voice. Even with the slur in the voice I could detect her shock.

I was also almost in the same condition.

Dammu was very cool while narrating the incidents.

“Yes, I was kidnapped. God knows how many were there with us. May be a whole army of their people were there. I was in a car with dark glasses. I was not given any food. Whenever I woke up I was getting a few sips of water and I was made to go to sleep again. On the fifth day evening we had reached our destination I think”

She took a sip of water from the mineral water bottle which was in Nammu Aunty’s room.

“The next day morning I woke up and could see a lovely sunrise outside my window. There was a very wide vastness of empty land. I could see I was in a Haveli. I was trying to understand my place of captivity when there was a knock on the door. Someone came in. I found that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She smiled at me and sat on a chair next to my bed.”

“Sorry to have bothered to come and disturb you like this” she said in Hindi. She had a very lovely voice. I had known Hindi from quite a long time. Courtesy my husband! I had to converse with him also!!!” Dammu smiled a naughty smile.

Nammu Aunty had a faint smile on her dry lips.

“The woman came in told in very plain and unemotional voice. ‘I had married your husband before you. I could not get any children from him. It is not because I am infertile. He did not consummate the marriage. The reason...’ she smiled wryly and continued, ‘some feud between my father and his father’. I observed that she did not call our husband’s father as father in law. Does that mean the enmity is very deep? I was wondering when she continued. ‘Now he is dead. But his seed is in your womb. You are lucky I should say’ She took a deep breath and told, ‘We are going to play a drama. Your arrival here is a close guarded secret. You deliver your child and vanish from here. I will take care of the child!”

What's her mistake ? - 21

“My husband was from a Thakur Family in the North. He was forced to marry a girl by his parents and grandparents. He married her, but he did not get any heirs. So, they were forcing him to marry another girl to continue their lineage since his wife did not get any children” Dammu continued her narration.

My God! This lady’s story has too many twists and turns! Now in which new entanglement she is caught?

“I came to know about it since after about 15 days of my husband’s death, 3 people visited my house. I was alone in the house. 2 men and a woman. There was an old man, a young man who was just looking like my husband and an old woman. The old man and the old woman were my husband’s parents. Nammu, somehow I could never refer them as my in laws because the marriage was never known to the outside world. The younger man who was just looking like my husband, was my husband’s brother, very much younger to him, almost of my age. It seems the family had two sons. First one was my husband....”

Dammu continued her narration. It seems that Dammu’s ‘husband’ was considered a traitor since he deserted the family and especially his wife. They were searching for him to kill him. That is the reason he ran away from home and found safe house in down South and settled as neighbour. Unfortunately Dammu was smitten by him and submitted herself to him completely.

“The old man was very rude. The old woman was not at all friendly. But the younger brother of my husband was very pally. I was wondering why...”

Nammu Aunty stood up and said, “Sorry Dammu! Two things... your story is too much for me to digest in one day. Secondly I am feeling very giddy. Did you undergo the same problem earlier?”

Dammu became very much concerned. She dialed her driver to come fast and we took Nammu Aunty to the hospital.

The problem of Nammu Aunty had become worse than we expected. She had become very tired. We were made to wait outside while she was admitted to the Intensive care unit.

“Dammu, how come the problem has become so severe suddenly?” I asked while we were sitting on the chairs which were placed outside the ICU.

“Young man! The strength of the patient is one thing. The second is the severity of the problem. The third is .....” she sighed and said, “the patient’s destiny”

I just nodded. I have seen Nammu Aunty from a long time. She has shared whatever food she had kept for eating. I had shamelessly eaten because I could not contain my hunger. Also because I loved the way Nammu Aunty used to feed me. Her affectionate words were what I was craving for.

The treatment made Nammu Aunty very weak. She was so weak that Dammu requested the doctor to keep her in the hospital for some more days.

The treatment was very costly. If Nammu Aunty had not got the support of Dammu, she could not have survived this long.

May be Nammu Aunty has done some help to other people during her better days health-wise and money-wise. Now, she is getting help from someone who was a stranger to her till recently. May be, this is the way God helps who are good in their heart and deeds.

This time the doctor had suggested Nammu Aunty to take some injections every day. Each injection costing very high. Dammu did not flinch. She spent the money like water. She ensured that a doctor came home and gave the injection every day.

Nammu Aunty was looking more fragile than earlier. The speech had a slur now.

She was on her bed in her room. Dammu was sitting on the bed holding Nammu Aunty’s weak hand.

Nammu Aunty whispered something and Dammu bent her head to catch her words.

Then she sat straight and smiled, “You want to know what happened next?... Ok, listen. The old couple, I mean my husband’s parents had come to know that I had married him. As my husband was dead, their custom was that I should marry the younger son to get them an heir”

I was surprised to hear such a custom.

“I told them that it was not possible. They were not accepting my denial. So, I had to let the cat out of the bag that I was pregnant. I thought they would be shocked. Funnily they did not get shocked. Instead, the old couple exchanged such a look that sent a chill up my spine”

What's her mistake ?- 20

I was so shocked looking at the completely bald head of Dammu that I forgot what Nammu Aunty was thinking. When I turned towards her, it looked as if she was having a worse jolt.

It was Dammu’s peals of laughter which helped us in mitigating the shock we were undergoing. In fact, Dammu’s laughter was so infectious that we had to forget everything and join Dammu in her ‘joyous’ mood.

“Oh Nammu, I wanted to tell you from the day I saw you that this...”she showed her wig, “is not real. But I did not get a chance. Remember I lost both the breasts due to breast cancer? The chemotherapy helped in killing the cancerous cells, but it also made me go totally bald. Remember, I am very rich? So, with the implant of artificial breasts, I also got a nice wig from US of A which is frightfully real. Isn’t looking so real?” asked Dammu.

Nammu had almost recovered from the shock of Dammu’s hair loss. She went near Dammu and said, “Dammu, I beg you. Please put it on. I can’t bear to see you like this”

Dammu smiled and wore it. It was not fitting her cent percent and it looked comical on her head now. But still, it was better than her baldness.

The day passed quickly. I went to the garden and plucked a few tender grass leaves which were trying to germinate out of the pots which had lovely roses.

The roses were looking so elegant. By watching them I felt very serene. There were many new colors which I had never seen earlier.

The evening turned into the night. We had food at the dining hall. I could feel that Nammu Aunty was still keen to know what happened next in Dammu’s life. I was equally interested.  A stone gets beaten by the chisel of a sculptor before it becomes a lovely piece of art.

Likewise the God ensures that person undergo a lot of torture in life before the person becomes who can be called ‘perfect’.

If the person comes out of the torture victorious, then he will ensure that he doesn’t get affected by any more difficulties. But if someone becomes totally defeated, then it is his/her fate.

I have read somewhere... I think a quote.... we have been cut, broken, cussed, ... etc., all types of torture, but we still here to see what in the hell will happen next...

Dammu started talking. “I have read Manku Timmana Kagga  written by Dr. DV Gundappa. In one of the poems he says, Vidhi or the fate wets us, bakes us, cuts us, slices us, puts us in heat, fries us in oil, fires us and burns us in the oven of earth and smacks her lips” she looked at us and continued, “so true! We have to undergo all these tortures and still feel ok, because there has to be a reason for which we are still alive” she touched Nammu Aunty’s hand and said, “yes Nammu, I am still alive to see what next”

Nammu Aunty was looking at Dammu with look of wonder in her eyes. “Oh, Dammu, you put it so succinctly about what one should do. I would love to read the book!” she said.

“That’s not a problem! Young man! You go to the library room and pick up the book for Nammu” said Dammu looking at me.

I nodded. But Nammu Aunty said, “I shall visit myself and see what books I can read. I was an avid reader before .... my kids were born....” She stopped.

“Later you looked after them till they become independent. Later you had time but no inclination?” Dammu continued Nammu Aunty’s sentence and smiled. I knew that she was trying to remove the barb in her talk by smiling.

Nammu Aunty was totally silent.

To break the silence, Dammu said, “Alright. Let me tell my next step of the story. It is not at all entertaining. But still....” she sighed and said, “ I found out that my ‘husband’ had run away from home  and his folks were searching for him and he was hiding in the house next to ours”

What's her mistake ? - 19

Nammu Aunty stood up as if she can’t any more of this.

I followed the suit. Dammu also got up with a nostalgic look in her eyes.

Poor lady! Is it a crime to marry a person whom we like? I know we have to respect our parents and give weightage to their words. But does it mean that just because it’s a golden needle given by our parents, should we have to pierce in the eye?

I think the days are changed and even the parents have changed nowadays. Should I consider myself to be lucky that my parents are dead?

I did not like the way I was thinking. But is this the way it is? Of course, the parents have the right to choose our life partners. After all, they do it because they feel whatever they do is for the good of their children. But if the children are not ready to accept the parents’ choice, why not they respect the children’s choice?

“Nammu, did I make you feel bad?” asked Dammu, putting steps to match with Nammu Aunty’s. I followed two steps behind them.

“No Dammu. I always thought my life is full of problems. God has given problems only to me. But I think I am fine compared to your life. Oh, poor Dammu....!” she said and stopped. She took the hands of Dammu in her hands. Nammu Aunty’s hands looked very fragile compared to Dammu’s which was looking quite strong.

Dammu faced Nammu Aunty and said, “Life is always comparison Nammu. I am better than a person who is at the edge of death due to severity of cancer. I have more time to live. Because God has given me strength to take more tests and therapies”

Nammu Aunty just nodded her head. She stepped forward and tripped. As she was about to fall, Dammu caught hold of her hair as she could not get any other part of Nammu Aunty. Once Nammu Aunty became steady, Dammu let her go.

But Dammu looked at her hand in dismay. There was a good amount of hair strands in her hand. Those had come from Nammu Aunty’s head. The Chemotherapy was showing its side effects!

It was Nammu Aunty’s turn to smile. “It is alright. The oncologist had already warned about it. In fact, I am feeling uncomfortable in my mouth. I think the chemotherapy is happily enjoying by making us uncomfortable. I have a feeling that it is severe in some people. May be because I am weak” were the words which came out of Nammu’s mouth. Does that mean she will have her mouth problems as well?

Oh God! This means she would be able to eat properly. Once the food intake comes down, the problems increase - were the words spoken by the oncologist.

We went inside and Nammu Aunty was not at all in good shape. Both of us caught her as she was about to fall. I started thinking, the oncologist told that she has at least 6 months to live. But she is looking so tired now itself. Does that mean her death has become nearer?

I could not think further. We steadied her and made her walk to her room. She sat on the bed thankfully and started crying a little. No sound, just the tears running down her cheeks from her eyes.

“Hey Nammu, Come on. You are stronger than this. Please don’t cry. The hair loss is something no one undergoing chemotherapy has escaped” said Dammu patting Nammu Aunty on her back.

“You can say anything Dammu. You have a long hair. You are pretty too. But I look very bad without my hair. Oh, I wish my death comes to me as early as possible” Nammu Aunty sobbed closing her eyes.

Is she feeling bad because she should not look bald in front of her children and grandchildren who could come someday to see her?

Dammu laughed. I sharply looked at her. Here is a lady who is crying because she might lose her hair and become bald. And the other lady sees a joke in it!

I was about to say some harsh words. I stopped them in time because I was watching Dammu putting her hand to her hair. With a little twist she pulled  at her hair and to my horror the whole hair from Dammu’s head was suddenly in her hands.

Dammu was completely bald without a single strand of hair on her head!

What's her mistake ? - 18

Is there any incident in this lady’s life which is very cool and composed? I thought when she told that her husband died the day he met her father.

“I had told you that my father was keen to take me to Delhi to see a boy. He was so interested in that alliance that it seems he had already told his friend about his intentions of making the friend’s son my husband. The words were heard by the son who was to marry me.”

She stopped and contemplating how to tell the next words. It was evident from her squirming, stopping of talk etc.,

“Nammu, my life had some twists and turns that day. I must have been a woman with a heart of stone to digest the incidents happened in my life that day. I fully started believing fact is stranger than fiction after that day”

I felt that this introduction is going to be calm before the storm. I looked at Nammu Aunty. She too was eager to know.

“That boy had entered the house and waiting for my father which I was not aware of. My ‘Gaandharva husband’ had come into the house already. So, I introduced him to my father that ‘this is my husband and I am going to marry him’”

My father looked at me as if I have gone crazy. “What dear! You say he is your husband and you are also saying that you are going to marry him?” he asked.

May be my flushed face told him the real story or the strong hand of my ‘husband’ which was put on my shoulders possessively, he lost his temper and screamed, “Have you slept with this person? Is that what you are telling me?”

“What can I say to him? Can I say that I was sleeping with him since more than two years? ... I was wondering what to tell, then out of the blue, the boy whom I was supposed to marry stormed inside and before my ‘husband’ could react, hit him at the back of his neck with such a force that my husband fell down with a thud”

Nammu Aunty was horrified with this narration. But Dammu’s face said there is some more to follow.

“The boy from North was really a very rough and hefty person. The beating he gave my husband was so bad that I felt that my husband must have lost consciousness. I screamed at my servants to get me a doctor. Till the doctor came, I was sitting next to my husband and tried to fan some air on his face. My father was glaring at me because I was trying to wake my husband up....

“The doctor came and checked the pulse of my husband and told that his condition is critical and has to be admitted to the hospital immediately. The moment he used the word critical, I fell down. Oh God, let my husband not die... I was praying.

“The God perhaps had some other devotee to save or he had hell bent on teaching me a lesson. The doctor felt my pulse and I don’t know how, he declared that I am pregnant without being subtle about it.

“I heard my father let out a big shout and fell like a freshly cut cocoanut tree. The doctor rushed to him and declared that my father is dead.

“I was stunned with these words and requested the doctor to take my ‘husband’ to the hospital. But fate had decided otherwise. The blow given by the ‘boy’ who had come to see me, was fatal.”

Nammu Aunty leaned forward in her chair. I was also listening to Dammu with bated breath.

“The doctor declared that my ‘husband’ was dead”

Nammu Aunty got out of her chair and placed her hand on Dammu’s shoulder and whispered “Oh Dammu! I don’t wish such a calamity even to my enemies”

Dammu smiled a pale smile and said, “The worst was yet to come”

I was wondering what could be worse than losing both husband and father on the same day!

What's her mistake ? - 17

I did not know what to do! Should I tell Nammu Aunty? Does she deserve to have this news when she is suffering?  I was in this dilemma till I reached the special room where Nammu Aunty was being treated.

She was not there. Only Dammu was there.

“Nammu has been taken for treatment. The chemotherapy” said Dammu, seeing the question in my eyes.

And she shuddered.

“Young Man, I don’t know why this disease comes to anyone. Whether it is our food habits or the weather or ...”she let a heavy breath out, “our luck”

Then she explained what could  happen to Nammu Aunty because of Chemotherapy. It will cause hair loss and nausea. Also dental and oral complications.

I felt very bad for Nammu Aunty. I should even feel bad for Dammu who has already undergone Chemotherapy and Radiation which are painful while undergoing.

“Nammu may have  mouth sores, infections, dry mouth, bleeding of the gums and lining of the mouth and general soreness and pain of the mouth..” Dammu was mentioning  them as if they are some Mantras.

I stopped her lifting my hand. Dammu let out a sad smile. “ Young man, even to listen to this, you are feeling bad, how about us, who are undergoing this torture?” and she put her hand on my arm and said, “You better know it. It helps in knowing”.

She gave some details. Chemotherapy works by killing rapidly growing cells. In someone with cancer, the cancer cells are typically the fastest growing cells in his or her body. Unfortunately, chemotherapy also may attack certain healthy cells which normally also grow quickly. For instance, the cells lining the oral cavity are fast growing and can be damaged by chemotherapy.

She ended saying, “Let her treatment be over. Oral problems usually go away after treatment ends. However, Like some people, she may continue to experience oral problems following chemotherapy. We will make sure our doctor and dentist are aware of any persistent side effects.”

I could only nod. Then I asked her what she did to avoid side effects.

She replied, “Doctor recommend sipping water, eating ice chips, and keeping mouth moist by chewing sugarless gum and candies to help prevent dryness and irritation”

After waiting for an eternity, Nammu Aunty came to the room. She looked very dull. She did not want to even speak to any of us. She just wanted to sleep.

It continued for about a week. Our life fell into a routine. I used to stay in the house in the night. In the mornings I stayed back and Dammu went home. In the afternoon, she came with food for both of us.   Then we used sit watching Nammu Aunty. During the night I went back to the house. Though I insisted, Dammu did not allow me to sleep in the hospital during nights.

“Young man, it is my duty and I will do it. You are helping me fine, in whatever you are doing” she said when I insisted that she should go back to the house and I stay with Nammu Aunty.

After a week she was little better. But the hair loss mentioned by Dammu was happening. Dammu tried to comb her hair carefully and failed. Nammu Aunty’s voice was weak. She was not able to speak louder than a whisper. She said her mouth and tongue felt very sore.

We came home on the eighth day. Before we left, the oncologist said to Dammu, “You know how things work, Madam Damayanthi! You know how to take care also” and Dammu nodded seriously.

Nammu Aunty brightened the moment we reached home or rather the moment we left from the hospital. She hates hospitals, I inferred.

We sat on the lawn after our dinner. The cool breeze was very pleasant.

Nammu Aunty looked at Dammu and asked, “Dammu, you were asking what is a husband before I fell sick. If you don’t mind, I would like to hear your life story to the end. Can you continue please?”

Her voice was barely a little above the whisper.

Dammu, I think, had got prepared to hear this. She nodded and told, “Yes, husband, Nammu, I had one. But I don’t know what to call him!! He was like Dushyantha to Shakuntala who underwent a Gaandharva vivaaha with God as the witness. We had no other witness for our marriage”

Nammu Aunty nodded.

“My husband from Gaandharva vivaaha died on the same day when he came to meet my father” said Dammu.

What's her mistake ? - 16

I did not know what would have been told by Dammu next. I was eager to know too. But there was a sudden noise from my side.

To my horror I found Nammu Aunty fallen on the ground holding her stomach and writhing with pain.

I saw Dammu come out of her flashback in a flash!

She arranged the car and driver to take Nammu Aunty to hospital. Both of us accompanied her. I sat next to the driver and Dammu took Nammu Aunty’s head on to her lap.

The oncologist was not there. Dammu called him and narrated the incident.

She listened to him and said, “He has asked to admit her. Let’s do it!”

We entered the hospital and got Nammu Aunty admitted to the hospital in a special room.

Nammu Aunty had not recovered her consciousness. We sat in front of her bed in the chairs. The room was quiet.

I saw Dammu shedding tears. They rolled down her cheeks and disappeared on her bosom.

I started thinking.... where does this end?

“Young man! You go home. Come in the morning with breakfast. For Nammu I am sure the hospital would provide food”

I left for home. I was thinking all the way... what good deeds have I done to get all these luxuries in this life? Is it just because I was affectionate towards Nammu Aunty? But Nammu Aunty deserves all the love in this world. But the children did not even bother to come.

I came to know the details later through the last son . I could not stop calling him. I wanted to tell him about the health of his mother. But the reply I got was not at all happy. How cruel one can get? That too about their own mother?

When he came on line, I told that she is suffering a lot. I was surprised with his reply. I was wondering whether my ears heard it right.

“Hey, she can’t be that bad. She used the oncologist to pull out money from us, our hard earned money. I hope she is happy now. I have shelled out my savings to send to her. Drat that oncologist! How dare he stoop to such a lowly position to get money from us? Are you saying she is not well? Well, I am not free to come. I am in a small job and I can’t afford to apply leaves”

I knew he was lying. He is saying that he is forced to give money. Had Nammu Aunty not taken care of them all while they were young? Why doesn’t he understand that it is their presence and affection which she is craving for?

“I hope she is getting enough money from all of us as repayment” the words flowed into my ears like hot lead. Is he trying to measure her love and affection which she showed them during their growing years? Is he so immature to judge her like that or all the three brothers are like that?

What about the daughter? I should check with the oncologist whether she is aware of her mother’s condition.

It was getting late when I reached Dammu’s home. I went and slept in my room.

Early in the morning I collected breakfast and coffee for Dammu and left for the hospital.

Once I reached the hospital, I handed over the breakfast to Dammu.

Nammu Aunty was peacefully sleeping.

Dammu said, “She was calling a name in her sleep. Is it her daughter’s name?”

When I heard the name, I said yes.

I came out to call the oncologist to let the daughter know about the serious condition of her mother.

When the oncologist came on the line, I asked about the daughter.

“Oh yes, I did try to contact her. Of course, not for money for her mother’s treatment. I had known that she is not like her brothers. But I got a shock when I called”  he said.

“What happened sir?” I asked with apprehension.

“The daughter has met with an accident in the USA and is very seriously injured ”

Now, it was my turn to get shocked.

What's her mistake ? - 15

Dammu continued telling her story as if the past has not affected her in any manner. But we could see that the face under the long flowing hair (now plaited) was very dull. The weight of the past was pulling her down; that was being seen very easily.

“I think the things boiled down on the day I touched eighteen. It was a very hectic day. I had decided to tell my father about my love story and introduce him to my boyfriend. The lawyer came and made the change in the will. I was the sole owner of a big house and God knows what all other things were the part of the property!”

Dammu smiled a sad smile.

“There was celebration in the house as the cook had prepared good number of sweets. My father was so eager to tell the world something. I could see in his action. He was trying to say something to me and it looked as if he was having two minds about it. Finally I asked him what is on his mind. Once he finished saying his part, I wanted to tell about my boyfriend. But what my father told me was not at all happy news for me!”

“What did he tell Dammu? You were telling that you are the only child and I am sure he would have accepted your boyfriend as his son in law!” exclaimed Nammu Aunty.

“Well may be, if the circumstances were different” Dammu said.

“What happened?” I asked out of curiosity. Now I was ‘dying’ to know what happened next.

“My father held my hand with a imploring look in his eyes. He had made a very good friend in the North during the freedom struggle and that friend’s son was the ideal match for me. Father said, ‘I know that you are a major today and you can marry anyone of your choice. But can you give a chance for me to show this boy please? We will leave for Delhi to see this boy tomorrow itself’”

“This put me in a fix” said Dammu. I could see that she was struggling to tell the next part. May be it is the saddest part of her life.

“Dad, I have to say something to you. Can I tell now?” I asked. He was surprised. He found that I was tongue tied which is never the case with me. He said so. The subject is like that I said. Funnily I could not say anything further. But at that moment, as if sent by God, my boyfriend came there.....” Dammu stopped.

She was very emotional now. This Dammu both of us had never seen. May be she should stop the story telling for now.

Nammu Aunty must have thought the same thing. She stood up and walked next to Dammu, touched her shoulder and said in a soft tone, “Let us take a break Dammu. We will continue after some time. Anyway I am feeling sleepy. Can I go to sleep for some time now please?” she asked.

Dammu was feeling guilty. I could see it on her face.

She stood up and caught hold of Nammu Aunty’s hand and said, “I am very selfish. I should have thought about your health. My story is not great. It can be stopped now itself”

Nammu Aunty immediately said “Oh no, I want to know how you addressed the situation about your husband, your kids?....” she left in the middle. I could sense that she did not know anything about Dammu and did not want to imagine what could have happened in Dammu’s life.

“Husband...? ha ha ha ha...! What is exactly a husband Nammu?” asked Dammu and suddenly fell back in her sofa and started crying loudly.

I was perplexed and Nammu Aunty’s situation was not very different.

Oh God! What is happening?

What's her mistake ? - 14

What is this lady’s real character? Once she laughs, the next moment she becomes serious. Which one to believe? I kept wondering.

I stole a glance towards Nammu Aunty. She was very eager to know. I felt this way. May be Nammu Aunty was eager to know how a person of her own age dealt with the situation of children being away from her, the husband being died. Do you have a question? That is, how I could think for Nammu Aunty? I didn’t think for her. My own thoughts were in the same direction!

Dammu was back in her olden days. Now she was a fifteen year old.

“Yes, I fell in love with a man... who was about 40 years”

This was a shocker for me. Forty years! That means he was twenty five years elder to her. She could be of the age of his daughter if he had married on time and a daughter!

“Oh, don’t have that shocking look Nammu!  People say love is blind. In my case I was blind... what I mean is the lover was blind” she smiled a rueful smile.

Then her face became animated. “Do you know how handsome he was? My God! He was like a Greek God! Adonis! I came to know of his age after I had..... Well, young man... I can talk in front of you without any qualms. Still, my modesty says I should say in disguised words. Yes, I came to know he was forty after I was his bedmate”

I understood that she meant after she had slept with him.

I felt pathetic. She was a fifteen year old girl. He was forty. How can he take advantage of her? Did his conscience not admonish him before... you know what!

But Dammu looked very cool and not at all repentant.

“Do you know Nammu? When I was fifteen, I looked twenty two. My body structure was like that. I was very curious to go ahead with that. So I lied to him about my age. I had sex with him with complete agreement from my side” she declared.

I was squirming a bit. This detail was not very comfortable for me. But I had no choice. She is talking about this as if it is another action like eating, sleeping etc.,

“My father was not there for quite some time and this made me very lonely. It was at that time this man came to stay as my neighbor. The loneliness combined with his handsomeness, his friendly smile and attitude all combined to make me melt in front of him like ice cream” she was very dreamy in her looks and voice. May be reminiscence of the golden moments of the olden days.

Well, I can’t judge someone just because she had sex with someone long ago. She is a good woman. She took Nammu Aunty to stay in her house. She is allowing me to stay with her with a promise of good salary and a recommendation letter. I should start assuming responsibilities and ‘earn’ my salary.

“The clandestine affair continued whenever we were alone. I was feeling uncomfortable in front my father when he was at home. Am I right in doing such a thing behind his back? Is this what I am returning for a good upbringing? There were plenty of questions in my mind which kept making me guilty to the core. This can’t go on. I have to tell my father, I kept telling myself”

She took a sip of the banana milkshake and continued talking. “But suddenly things became worse. Father had a heart attack and called his lawyer to make his will. His property was self-made and he willingly transferred to my name. I was thinking, ok, I will transfer this to my boyfriend who is going to be my husband shortly. Then I can rest for my life. I hated looking after my father’s property which is going to be mine once.... I could not think of the next words.. he dies” she completed the sentence, put the glass on the teepoy and looked at us.

“I sound so callous, isn’t it? I was only sixteen and a half when my father transferred his property to my name. All I could think of is my boyfriend, his nice words and his .... technique”

We did not know what to talk.

There was silence for some time.

Then Nammu Aunty asked, “Did you marry your ... boy.. friend?”

“No, I could not” There was a streak of pain in Dammu’s voice.

“Why? His parents objected?” I asked.

“I could have fought with anyone in this world to get him. Except...”

She took a deep breath and said, “ With Yama, the God of Death”

Both Nammu Aunty and I looked at each other shockingly.

What's her mistake ? - 13

Both Nammu Aunty and I were left flabbergasted. We did not know how to reply those questions. Because we did not know the answers!

Dammu took a deep breath and sighed. She shook her head many times. Is it something to do with her previous dialogue?

Then she looked at us with a serious look. “I never thought I would tell this part of my life to anyone again. But it looks as if... hey, you could stay hungry for a few hours?” she asked with a smile.

We looked at her blankly. She explained. “My life story is not a great one to talk about. I have made a few hard decisions. This has led to my happiness”

Now we had a surprised look.

“Ok, let me explain. In as less words as possible because I am not a great story teller” she laughed. But I could see a painful expression in her eyes.

“My grandfather was a good person. He ensured that my father got good education during those days. I am talking about early 1920s. My father followed my grandfather’s guidance and became a very rich man. But it did not stop him from helping people in need. He was so rich, but he was very generous too. What he was giving away in the right hand was not being known to the left hand. I hero-worshipped my father. I must have picked up a lot of his traits...” She smiled at us.

“Yes, Dammu, there is no doubt! You have picked up the trait of his helping nature. It is in your blood. Otherwise, you couldn’t have taken a stranger like to your house” blurted out Nammu Aunty.

I also nodded. It is true! Otherwise I do not see any other reason for Dammu being so helpful to Nammu Aunty and to me, who is actually not connected to both of them in any manner. This one thing kept bothering me. Why me? Is there any other reason beyond what Dammu mentioned? Oh yes, she made a mention that there are many reasons for me to stay in this house.  This needs to be checked.

Dammu was inside her history. She was continuing her talk.

“I was the only child of my father. He had no time. Otherwise I could have got a brother or a sister or a few of them” she laughed naughtily. Then again she changed her tone. “My mother passed away due to a severe attack of plague. My father was somewhere in the Northern Part of India fighting with the British. I was in 5^th Form when she passed away” she stopped. Her look was far away for some time.

I and Nammu Aunty looked at each other. We were feeling bad for Dammu. Losing  parents is a painful thing.

“Ok, let’s have a break!” she called one of her servants. She ordered to get us banana milkshake.

While the milkshake was made and served, she talked shop.

She was asking me when I am shifting completely. When am I going to the office and tender my resignation.

“I need not give any noice Dammu. I am on a daily wages job. I could just walk away” I said.

She was serious when she said, “Look young man, each one of is important in this society. The job you are doing may be a small one as far as the size of the job is concerned. But there has to be replacement for you. Please go tomorrow morning and tender your resignation and come back”.

I could see a look of approval in Nammu Aunty’s eyes.

If I had read in a book I would have exclaimed “Rubbish!” If I had seen such a scene in a movie I would have uttered, “Nonsense!” But seeing this in the real life, I am left with no words.

It is true, the statement, that the fact is stranger than fiction!

“When I was fifteen, I fell in love with my neighbor and decided to marry him” said Dammu.

When we looked at her with astonishment, she looked at us and said, “What? Am I not a human being? Do I look like a rock to you?” and grinned.