Amma's situation

I can't tell anyone but I need to tell someone. Thanks to you blogger.com! I am able to express my views and mail it to you! My Amma or mother has become so weak that I feel like crying when I see her every time. She was one of the most strongest women I have ever met. But today when I see her helplessly sleeping and watching all of us, I feel like boo hoo ing. But can we help it? My brother in law who had recently undergone such a situation was trying to pacify me saying that now, all you have to do is to look after her well till she passes away. Actually he did not use these words, but I drew inference from his words. He sent her a wheel chair. Today I had get a 24/7 nurse to look after her after all the circus of our maid, 2 nurse maids and my wife as well looking after her turn by turn. But there comes a time when we have to take such a decision and today I took it. Many things got done today since I applied leave. But still I feel... is that all? Is this what all children have to undergo? if this is so, I do not want to live forever. I want to get out of this world when my organs fail me especially limbs or eyes. I think being deaf could be okay. but still not ok since I love to listen to music. Let us see what is in store for us. Till I go to such a stage, let me at least do all things what I want to do.