Old colleague

I was trying to write a mail to someone when someone else suddenly came on for chat. Bala! I know him from about 4 years I think. He was so eager to meet me when I told him that I would be in Chennai.

He picked me up and took me to his home. His parents are also so friendly that I did not feel a stranger at their place.

Had food with them, lazed in the hot sun but under a mango tree with mangoes.

He took me to a cd stores for buying some cds.

Then we went to our hotel since I had promised to give him my books.

The person has never changed.He is the same.

Same affection, decency. God bless him!

Old friends

It is fun to meet old friends. But we have to ensure that we put together all the friends of the same school. Then we can have some common talk. Otherwise the whole team can't be satisfied. Not only that, if you share interest of something with someone, you are bound to talk to that person about that subject only ensuring that the others are bored! I have this friend with whom I can talk any subject, including carnatic classical music. We have another common friend. He feels lost when we start yakking about this subject. He is good in kannada and hindi old songs. So we try to restrict our carnatic classical music talk when only two of us are there. There is one more set of young 30ish friends. again with one ccmusic, with the second many things except music and with the third all except cc music. So the carnatic classical music takes a back seat with many people. I generally speak about it with my wife, her one brother, her other brother's wife's sister. Otherwise it is only with some people you can talk about that subject. other subject is old hindi songs. Not many people enjoy. Especially the new generation do not bother to talk about it, let alone listen.

But they listen to music hindi i mean. This is a good sign.

But with old friends may be we can yak!

Boredom

I sometimes feel that no one should read my blogs! Not that I offend any one in my blogs. The thing is that I write what I feel like writing. Thank you very much for these blogs where I can express myself like people exercise their freedom of speech at Hyde Park, London, I believe.

During my recent 40 days are so I have started writing. It has improved my English as well. One fine day I want to write something solid in English. This blog writing has given me a platform to perform.

Some time later I may start writing something serious on a daily basis. This would mean it has to be continuous. May be I shall write about myself. May be about some personality who has influenced me to a large extent.

May be whatever I write may not be good. May be whatever I express may not be interesting. May be whatever I write may be boring.

You could tell me whether I am writing something useful or trash.

Then I shall also try to write something which is not boring.

Won't you do that please?

What pains most

The suffering of our elders in front of our eyes.

Yes, it really pains us most. We would have seen them so strong that we were being carried by them till we are about 4 or 5 years old. then they hold our hand and take us round. They make us cross channels, they take us up the hills.

When time comes, they teach us how to get into a bus or how to ride a bicycle.

When time comes they show us what are the good values of life.

Don't do any bad thing. don't harm others even if you can't help them.

All these and much more.

But when time comes they become restless. Helpless. They have to depend on us.

It pains us very much.

the same person who has done so much to us now lies helplessly on the bed.

We have to just see them suffer.

We have our own job, responsibilities. But seeing them watching us helplessly pains us.

Mother son relationship

My wife Usha was asking my son Sughosh, what do you want to take for lunch tomorrow to the college? Then she told 'is Pongal ok?' When he said 'yes', she again asked 'can you take Tomato Bhath?'

I could not contain myself. I told 'why worry, you already told him pongal, now why are you confusing him?'

She told 'why are you coming between me and my son? I can ask anything to him. let him answer' This is typical mother son relationship. Father has no say I think!

Some other time she would be complaining about him to me and I am supposed to sort out any issue. Some times he complains about her to me.

But all said and done. They are one. I feel like an outsider!

He goes to my sister's place to stay once in a while. He calls his mom almost everyday and says 'mom, it is 3 days since I have seen you. I will come back today'

So, he comes back.

I am telling him to go to the US of A for higher studies. May be his mom has to go with him!!!

Dilemma in a different situation!

This is a typical Indian home's story. It could be my home or any one else's.

The grandfather or grandmother is ailing and is on the bed with a lot of pains in the body. But the tongue and ears would be sharp.

The grandchildren are grown up to teens. They neither have their own intelligence nor they listen to any elders.

Now the fun starts. The grandchild keeps talking to the parents. The parents know better than making comments. Because the kids won't take it kindly.

But the grandparent does not care. The comment comes out almost immediately.

Lo, the home becomes a virtual hell.

The middle people, the parents of the kids, can't take any side or cannot make any comment to smoothen the situation.They have to become just plain spectators.

Because the parents have been brought up strictly by their parents. (Today's grandparents).So they try not to hurt their parents. The kids won't take it kindly.

Who will tell the grandparents that times have changed? Do you think they would listen to you?

Dilemma

When your close associate dies under tragic circumstances, especially you come to know that that person is murdered you would love to take revenge to make the dead person's soul happy and peaceful.

When you prepare to do that, the President of the Country comes to tell you that please don't do any of that sort, what do you say except 'yes'?

But inside the heart you would be seething with anger. Waiting for a chance to retaliate.

That is what is done by a character in a serial I was watching recently.

That character I have seen too many times the whole of last 2 years.

We have fallen in love with that character's acting.

Simply appreciable. Especially the devotion shown towards the country.

Unbelievable still very believable.

Did you get confused?

Then watch Jack Bauer (fantastically acted by Keifer Sutherland) in the series 24. You are bound to fall in love with his behaviour, mannerism and character.

Connection

Without your knowledge you have a 'internal' connection. I mean a sort of telepathy. You would not know exactly what is the problem, but your 'heart' would sense that some problem is existing with your 'connected' person. It may not be verbose. But it tells you through some stomach churning, uneasy feeling etc., Have you noticed such things in your life? If not, that means you are yet to have a personal connection like that.

I have sensed it. Some sort of stomach burning feeling I had once. When I came home I heard that someone very close to me has some problem. I think many times how this happens?

For some of these things, there is no logic. But it stays.

With God (or the Super Power) it happens the same way. Try it. It is very good.

When you are a real devotee, if you are dejected, just think of that Power. You will be suddenly fine. Whether it is our feeling or it happens really, I do not know.

But it happens.

Only thing is that it takes some time to realize such an unknown help is always available for us.

Point of view

We were always taught from the day we were little intelligent that good people survive and bad people would come to bad end. In fact my kids, nieces and nephews used to ask while watching a movie, is this a good uncle or bad uncle? bad auntie or good auntie?

With this training when I first read some of the Chase novels I was flabbergasted is the least to say. The hero used to narrate the story in first person and whatever he says sounded true. He used to even justify the crimes he committed be it murder, robbery or even adultery!

A sort of sympathy engulfs you by the time we come to the end of the story. After all, the hero is a human being. He tries to live well. But the circumstances, fate won't let him. No wonder we feel sad for the hero when he dies or gets caught by the police at the end of the story.

But the narration, his justification gets etched in your mind. That is why James Hadley Chase is known as Master Story Teller! The story is told from the point of view of the culprit. May be he is one of the first writer to write that way?

Looking young

How important is looking young? Very!

Yes, every one has to look young. by appearance?

No, by attitude.

You should look young by your attitude.

Do you know?

I have seen a 51+ man who is very young at heart.

Sometimes he is so young, that his family makes fun of him 'don't be childish'

But it is important that your ideas should be young.

His colleagues are all about 35 plus. They drag him to their company which is very redeeming.

They think that his age is stuck at 36!

Isn't it great?

I was keen to meet him. But really I meet him sometimes every day.

Whenever I see the mirror I see him!!!!

Desire fear anger

When Lord Srikrishna says in Gita that one should not jump with joy when he is happy, he should not be agitated when he is sad, he should not have desire, fear and anger, then he is called Sthitaprajna (stable minded) Chapter 2, stanza 56.
Is it really possible? It is not impossible. but definitely difficult, in fact very difficult. Whom He was aiming at ? Ordinary human beings would find it very difficult to even try these!
May be monks who are in Himalayas doing Tapas would be able to practice these!
But I have question for Lord SriKrishna.
"Oh Lord, I would jump with Joy when I see you or even thinking of seeing you. I would get agitated if I don't see you or the feeling that I can't see you. I have a strong desire to see you and stay with you always. I have the fear that I may not be able to see you in this birth. I have anger that you are not showing yourself to me"
Seriously, would you object to these things Lord?
I am always remembering you. How do you reply my mail Lord?

The 'dis' connect between heart and body

Funny heading? do you really think so? You will understand when your kith or kin does a 'fasting' because that person has been hurt because of you!
I always wonder why people punish themselves whenever they are angry or sad. Especially when they are hurt by someone close to them, they ensure that they won't eat anything that day so that the message is passed on to the 'hurter' that the hurt caused by the person has really hurt them. But I have a question here. What is the connection between heart and the body? the body definitely needs the fuel to survive. When you deny the body what it needs, then you would go dull and you would be tired. It may even give rise to some stomach ailments esp. if someone who 'fasts' has acidity problems!
Why take such a stand? Just because the person whom you love hurt you? Is it really the reason? What is love? The best definition I have heard is that 'when you love someone, it means that you have accepted that person along with his/her weaknesses'
Is it not a good one? If you love someone, why hurt that person? You definitely know that the other person also loves you. Please think again before you 'fast' next time!

Concern - up to what length?

Rains in Bengalooru. What do you do? Run for shelter when it rains? What would have told your children during October rains? 'no, no, not now. After your exams, you could get wet during summer holiday' Do you remember? you won't. but your children won't forget.when it rains during April they are bound to ask you. can you say no? you may. If your child is a teenager what are the chances that the child would listen to you? No chance!

Leave them to get wet. once they get wet, don't listen to your in-laws or anyone else to pull the child inside. The child has to get wet to its heart content and then only come inside. Then no rules should be imposed, don't go there, come here. do you think they would listen. Of course not!

They would love to see themselves in that wet dress in the mirror.

Oh, very complicated? no actually very simple.

you have to have a large heart. Leave them alone. I am sure they won't repeat. But at least once they want it to be carried out.

Leave the child to enjoy.Tell me, which is more important ? The child's happiness or the cleanliness of the house?

Good words about 'dead'

The general talk about a person who is dead and gone is always good. We say 'oh, he was a good man' That means most of his misdeeds are forgiven (forgotten?).

But will we do the same thing about a person who was working with you and now gone out of your department? or he has gone out of your company?

When I say he, it is she too.

May not say good words. it is not that they mean bad about the gone person. It is the power of saying. ahha, someone has come to ask my opinion. So,why should I not give a 'candid' opinion?

It does not cross their mind that a good word from them could save a lot of trouble for the transferred guy. But then, it won't show the 'world' the spokesperson's 'power of words'

So, they make it a point to 'bad mouth' the 'gone' person.

If the new boss wants to 'share' the same opinion with the new 'entrant' and gives his opinion in his face, the new comer shrinks into his shoes. He jumps with suspicion every time someone looks at him. The happiness of the transfer is gone forever. My question is 'what did the spokesperson achieve?'

As far as I am concerned, if you don't do good to others, don't. But pl. don't harm others.

Human beings are human beings wherever

I had been transferred to the projects division when worked in Muscat. So I had to do the tendering work. I used to collect info on prices of poles, cables, transmission lines etc., which are required for a transmission line being drawn from one place to another. After the collection of details, a detailed tender was prepared with all technical details except for the final price. That was the job of my top boss who used to put the final price in the required box at the very end. What I meant was - if the tender is being opened at 10 am, I used to get the tender sealed at 9.45 am and I was supposed to submit the same at 10 am in an office which was about 25 kms from my office.

Quite a feat if I reach in time!

I had been in touch with the local Govt. Officers. Some of them were quite friendly. I had done an out of turn help to him in handing over some document 2 blocks away. Two blocks means about 2 km up and 2 km down I had walked in hot sun. He had no idea that I did not have a car. (Not having a car in Oman is unthinkable!) He was very grateful since that time.

I used to pick my office tender at 9.50 am and used to call him that I am on my way. He used to wait till I reached there. Of course, I would reach just as the clock used to strike 10 am after doing a fast driving on the smooth lanes.

The idea of him waiting for me was redeeming. After all human beings become friendly with other human beings if treated properly whatever is the caste, creed, culture or any other difference is there between two individuals.

Hats off to the friendships!

Oman stay

I stayed in Oman from 18th June 2002 to 11th April 2005 with a break of 40 days in 2003 and 2004. But the stay was not very happy one. Don't get me wrong. When I stayed there I enjoyed. But when I came for holidays, going back was a big problem. Like a kid going back to school without much enthusiasm after a long break. Once I went back, I used to go through the routine of getting up, going to temple, going to office, going to meet clients, having food and coming back to room for sleeping. This was the toughest part. Coming and switching on the light in an empty room of a flat!

Everyday I used to feel more and more lonely. Once the body took to sleep, I used to forget and again the routine used to start.

Thursday Afternoons were little different. I used to come 'home(!)' at 1.35 pm. Have my food and leave in my car to a theater nearby. The heat would be very high. I used to go to either Hindi or English movies - alone!

Once the movie is over, take the car and come home and watch TV for some time and waiting for the time to hit 8 pm. go for food and come back and sleep.

What a way to live!

Life in a Quarters

Quarters life is a different one. The people are so different from each other. But still united. I remember my life in a quarters. We were in the same house for 17 years! I remember most of the part of my life there.

We kids used to play together, whether hindu, muslim, christian, gowda or whatever is the caste or creed, we never used to bother. Because the economic strata of all the earning members in our area was almost same. The ladies used to mix with each other and most importantly help each other. Whether there is a child birth or death or disease at any home, all others used to raise to the occasion. We used to celebrate Diwali, Eid or Chrismas or any other festival with the same zeal. The crowd of children used to go the particular houses depending upon which festival was being celebrated. It was fun. We were never restricted by any of our parents not to mix with any other kids. Isn't it great? In fact I always feel that children brought up in quarters would get mixed with other people very easily since they would be doing it from the day they are aware. I should thank all parents for giving us an opportunity. I wish this is the same in all places, whether we stay in a quarters or not, we should treat all the people same.

Vice wise

A young student can be good even after staying in a hostel. It could be because of two reasons. The hostel mates may not smoke or drink. So, this boy also stays that way. Well,he could be the bad apple in the basket! But generally a new boy who goes to a hostel in some other city would be little hesitant to do that. If he is helped by his hostel mates by not doing those vices, then he also becomes good.

But a weak minded boy can always become vice-full! He could be from a strict family who punish for even small mistakes. Such a boy would become rebellious and the first chance he gets,he would take up all bad vices. The sad part is that he doesn't take it to his heart that it is bad for health. My parents have punished me. So I shall punish them by doing all such stupid things.

The cancer threat on the cigarette pack or the bottle (is it there on that too?) would not worry the smoker and the drinker. Because generally the one reads won't cultivate those habits. The one who has the habits won't read them!

Any way I recently read that smoking causes impotency. May be it is good that the young generation smokes. The population growth would curtail. Don't get me wrong please. I am eager to 'threaten' the young smokers to quit smoking by saying ugly things. Would I succeed?

Sister who is also a daughter

My sister is a dancer. She is very determined to keep her dancing tradition. Now her daughter is also a dancer, a good one at that. My niece is also a good singer of carnatic classical.

She is about 16 km away from my home. Now my mother is not well. She can't come easily. She has her own things to do. Practice dance, teach dance, cook at home and what not. So, to see the sick mother she can't find time.

I cajole her, tease her and even offend her!

I sent a message yesterday, 'how come you don't even call your mum once a day, let alone come. Please don't get offended. You call your mom only when I send an sms'

I got a reply immediately. 'you have offended me. you won't believe if i say i am trying to come to your home to see mum every day from past 5 days. I weep every night that i can't go to see my mum'

I felt so ashamed and apologized.

sister who is a mum and a daughter can be really in tough times really unable to meet even her mother. Let us not offend such helpless sisters.

Twenty Four

A number ? no, a serial's name.

The hero Jack Bauer played by Keifer Sutherland is an immortal character. He is so ordinary in his body structure. He gets beaten by the villains. But he raises like a phoenix from the ashes.

Why did I take up this subject?

Well, in some of the seasons (7 seasons have been aired already and I believe the 8th one is on)

the psychological pressure he builds to get the secrets out of the villains is amazing. Also he makes the others believe him very easily. He says 'trust me'. That's it! the trust would be kept up by him.

He is a real Nation's Pride of the US of A. He goes out of the way to help the country to survive from disasters. Be it a Atom bomb threat or an epidemic disease or any thing else.

He is there always. The protector.

I wish all the soldiers of the world are like that. Why,all the people like that so that so enemy from outside or from within can attack the country.

Twenty

This is a unique situation. I think I had written something, but it got erased. Or, I might have thought I have written, but I have not obviously written.
Twenty is the name given to this subject a little while ago. Little while? No, 2 years, one month and 19 days ago. By chance I saw it today (25.5.2012) and wanted to know what is Twenty. To my dismay I found that it was empty. Have I written earlier?... ok, ok, I have become an awful repeater. I was going through some old posts. I found that I have written some points today which I had written 2 years ago!
The reason is simple. The desire to have a bribe-free, povert-free, bad people-free world is very high. That made me repeat my words.
Yes, for twenty I don't know what I had written, but I will write something.
Vimshati means one fifth of hundred... that means twenty.
I believe God had given only 20 years of age to human beings. But he took 20 years of dog, 20 years of donkey and 20 years of monkey I believe. So, twenty does play an important role.
Nowadays we have Twenty-twenty over match in IPL. We also have a book by Chetan Bhagat 2020 Revolution.
Maximum number of fingers in hand should be 20.
So, twenty is a good number.

Iruvudellava biTTu!

There is a lovely poem written by Shree Gopala Krishna Adiga, a great writer in Kannada. The song is yaava mohana murali kareyitho .. the song has two lovely lines which appeal to me very much. In fact it summarizes the mentality of human nature. Iruvudellava bittu illadiruvudarede tudivude jeevana. What is available is not required. What is not available, is wanted. This want and the rejection form human tendency. If we have something good also,we need something else. We even are ready to lose this to get the other thing. What we don't understand is that if we do not find satisfaction in what we have or what we can get, we definitely will not find happiness or satisfaction in what we want.

It is like the golden deer Sita wanted in Ramayana. It would never come to us alive. By the time Rama catches it, it is dead.

Our desires are also like Mirages. We think it is oasis but alas, it won't be available at all.

But preaching is easy, practising is very difficult.

Well, that is life!!

'Story Board'

My nephew in law Ajay asked a simple question, 'how do you structure your novel?'

This led into a series of discussions. I showed him some of my scripts half done. Some story lines. Some of them are so small that they are in two small 2 square inch papers. From this I need to develop.

Somehow today Ajay rekindled my interest in writing. So I need to commence copying the story written in paper to the Laptop. Then I need to continue from where I have left.

This story writing is a funny thing. I can write in a place with a lot of noise. Never in a peaceful place.

I do not have commitment of 'weekly installment' like some of the Telugu writers. They used to handover the manuscript to the magazine rep on the day the mag used to go in for printing.

But I should be more organized.

Ajay was mentioning 'you have no right to stop writing.'

So I shall start seriously ASAP. May be from today!!!

Positive attitude

It was 1996. I had a bad fall in one of the sites where I was working. A heavy metal object weighing 2oo kg something fell on my left foot. May be for about 3 seconds. but the damage was done. I was told by the ortho that I had a ligament tear. I wore crepe bandage for 3 weeks.As luck would have it the chair on which I was sitting broke and I got hit at the same foot. So, my whole left leg was in plaster cast for three l...o...n...g weeks. Squatting, sitting and even sleeping is a tough thing at that time. but I was not keeping quiet. I sat on a stool and started writing a novel! It was called Gaathe (saga). It was an absurd novel. May be I had a twisted sense of humor at that time!

But the positive attitude of writing was there. The novel never falters anywhere as far as the narration is concerned. But the absurdity is the main thing.

Absurdity in a novel is acceptable. But if we have negative thoughts just because we are hurt or having some problem, then life becomes absurd.

What we have to do is, try to see anything and everything in a positive way.

It is not easy I tell you. But definitely not impossible.

Try!!!!

Mind's power

I was watching a movie today. Quite an old movie. It has one melodious song sung by Kishore da and Parveen Sultana. The story is not so good. I mean the narration is smooth. But with many quesions.

our mind try to analyze every thing we see, hear, observe and smell.

The hero is recognized by the heroine in the next birth and the sister of the hero during previous birth. But no one else recognize them though they keep bumping into each other.

The mind can't be so dumb.

But the director doesn't want to kill the story till the end!

So it goes on and on and on. Suddenly the DVD got stuck. I didn't know how the movie ends. I had to reload and again see the movie.

That is mind's power. It had decided that come what may, I have to watch the movie wholly.

But somehow the film became tame and tapered as it came to the end.

Probably that is why it did not taste high success.

I was talking about Kudrat and the immortal song Hume tumse pyar kitna yeh hum nahin jaante.

Aadat se majboor

I do not know the English equivalent for the above subject tag! We become slaves of our own habits? Is this something near ? For example, you think of getting a call from your spouse everyday at some specific time. If the calls continue like that for a week, we feel 'ok, we need to wait for this call'

Suppose one day the other person was busy in some other thing (a genuine thing), and could not call you, you had it!

You start thinking, Oh God, something must have happened! Otherwise by this time the call should have come.

We start thinking all horrible things happening to them. For all we know, the other person must have been busy in something else and may be not finding time at all.

So, we need to rationalize our thoughts. Ohho, today the other person must be busy and let me call myself. As luck would have it, the network would be down and we will not get the other person.

Even then we do not think that the same case may be for the other person.Well,that is human nature for you and this is aadat se majoor!!!

I am waiting for a mail from my young friend. It has not come since three days. I do hope everything is fine :))