What's her mistake ? - 31

You have to excuse me!

I have put Dammu’s words in third person. Somehow the severity of the situation did not allow me to write the exact words of Dammu. So, I am using a less emotional language.

Dammu left in a hurry with her husband’s younger brother. But the hurry was only in her intension. The enlarged stomach did not allow her to walk fast. But it was a matter of life and death. So, she followed him.

But the journey was not on a flat ground. They travelled on a very rough terrain. There were not many trees to hide. It must have been Rajastan (said Dammu) since the sunlight did not fade fast. Finally after what seemed eternal walk, they reached a dilapidated house. The wind was very hot.

“Have we come quite far?” asked Dammu after gulping the hot air inside her lungs.

“Sorry! Did I make you very tired?” asked her husband’s brother.

“Of course! You are like a wire. I am on the plumper side. Added to that, this extra weight!” she said putting her hand on her bloated tummy.

“When is the date of delivery?” he asked.

He was trying to use little light since they had not walked very far.

“I don’t know. Do you know that the lady who was coming to check me may not be a gynecologist? “ Dammu exclaimed and then started some calculation.

“What are you doing? I asked for the date!” said he.

“Give me time. I am counting” she said annoyed since her counting got disturbed. She had felt that she is about seven months pregnant.

“I have to tell you one more thing. We are not staying here. We have to go away from here. I have asked a friend to bring his vehicle. It is expected early tomorrow morning” he said and took some hay lying nearby and made a bed for her. “You sleep here. I will stay outside and lookout for him. Once he comes, we will leave. Till then if you get some rest, it is easier to reach our destination”

Without waiting for her reply he went out of the building and closed the half broken door.

Dammu slept on the hay looking up the roof. The roof had broken in some place and she could see one or two stars through the hole. The Moon must have been there, since it was the 2^nd day after the new moon day.

She could not move much. Is it because the stomach has overgrown? She wondered. Why a seven month old pregnancy have such a big tummy? Has she made a mistake in her counting? Ugh! This is the trouble in having a half knowledge doctor (or was she a midwife?)

First thing she has to do is to visit a doctor, a proper one at that. I am not like this, she thought. Little more bolder than this. But what had made her a timid woman? She was always rebelling whenever she is cornered. Has her sharp edges have become blunt? Is it because of the pregnancy, that too being held in captivity? Why did not she put extra effort to escape? Was she keen to get the baby delivered in the Haveli where her husband had been born and spent his life before he came to meet with her?

The baby, is it a boy or a girl? She had never thought about it all these months. She wished she had never become pregnant. Then she would not have been held a prisoner in the haveli.

Oh, why did I not take precaution? She thought.

There was a kick inside the wall of her womb. Oh, the baby is kicking her to tell that it is there and she has to take care of it.

Let me count the number of days she thought. She got a shock when the counting was done.

She got up with difficulty and reached for the door.

The moment she opened the door, the creaking noise made her husband’s brother get up.

“What?” he asked in a rough voice. “Any problem?”

“I think I have finished 36 weeks” she was saying. Suddenly there was a shooting pain in her stomach.

She screamed. “I think the water is breaking! The delivery is about to take place! Do something fast!”

She again screamed since the shooting pain started coming again and again.

What's her mistake ? - 30

“Can you throw some light upon what are those ‘daily 15 minutes’ asked Dammu the moment we were out of earshot of the others.

Nammu Aunty smiled. But there was a sad look in her eyes.

“Dammu!” she said holding Dammu’s hands and looking at her, “You are too good. I won’t deny it. But, I have a desire to stay in my house here”

Dammu shook away Nammu Aunty’s hands and stood at a distance and sulked.

Nammu Aunty walked to her and touched her arm. Dammu walked some distance and stood. Nammu Aunty followed her.

Dammu now turned towards Nammu Aunty and said, “Ok, can you tell me why you want to stay in that house? Don’t tell me that you are too indebted to us and want to be independent!”

Nammu Aunty shook her head and told in a small voice, “I want to stay in the house where I stayed with my husband during my happy days and reminisce those golden moments. Can you please pardon me?” and tears swelled in her eyes.

I could see Dammu being melted by this. “Hey! What is this? I was only worried about you being alone here” she said wiping the tears of Nammu Aunty.

Nammu Aunty smiled. She was looking very different with a smile on her lips and tears in her eyes. Like the rains with bright sunshine.

“Will you not be with me Dammu?” asked Nammu Aunty with such a request in her voice that Dammu just went forward and hugged Nammu Aunty.

“No Nammu, I can’t! You know very well that I have my own things to do. But you have to promise me one thing. Every weekend, you should come to my home” Dammu said in a demanding voice.

We were nearing the car. The middle aged man came running and asked, “Madam, when are you coming and occupying your house?”

Nammu Aunty looked at Dammu.

“Today is Saturday. She will come to stay on Monday evening” said Dammu. Nammu Aunty nodded her head.

During the car journey Dammu and Nammu Aunty were discussing about the paraphernalia of Nammu Aunty’s stay in Jaaji.

“Young man! Now you have to do your duty in two places. I hate to send Nammu to Jaaji alone. So, your job will be to be with Nammu at the village. When you come back here with Nammu on Friday evening, your duty in my house starts. That is till you reach the village on Monday morning” said Dammu after the program was finalised.

The enthusiasm of going back to the village and living there gave Nammu Aunty such an energy that I wondered from where she got it.

Dammu also noticed it and could not help commenting, “Nammu, I can’t believe that just the thought of staying in the village has given you so much extra strength!”

Nammu Aunty laughed loudly. Suddenly she had a spasm of cough which sounded very horrible. Nammu Aunty rushed to her room. We could hear her cough. We could not go in as she had bolted the door from inside even in that hurry.

Both I and Dammu stood in front of the room helplessly.

But we need not have worried. She came out wiping her mouth with her sari.

Dammu caught hold of her hand and took her to the sofa in the main Hall.

We settled on the sofas. The servant brought us hot badam milk. We started sipping it when Nammu Aunty opened the subject which was droning in my mind from quite a long time.

“Dammu! It is high time that you complete your story which you started quite long ago” said Nammu Aunty. Dammu looked at her.

“Yes, Dammu! Now, the time will be restricted to the weekends. So, why don’t you start telling your story from the point you left last time”

“Now, where had I left the story?” asked Dammu. But the twinkle in her eyes said that she knew where she had left the story.

“Yes, my husband’s younger brother said, ‘my people may not allow you to live after the birth of the baby. So, if you want to stay alive, we have to leave from here before the baby is born. Are you comfortable to leave with me from here? He asked seriously. As I told you earlier, I had nothing to lose by leaving with him. So, I left with him. But the way it ended is so horrible even to think” Dammu shuddered.

What's her mistake ? - 29

The car entered the village. It had a nice name. Jaaji. A very fragrant type of jasmine flower. I could make out about 75 houses. There were 4 big houses. All others were very small.  The moment the car was stopped there was a hoard of kids who came running to the car. We had tough time in getting out of the car.

Finally when we got out of the car a middle sized man came near the car. He had folded hands in front of his chest and he was in all smiles. I found that he was looking at Nammu Aunty. She also folded her hands to say ‘Namaste’.

“Come madam. It is years since you have come here. I heard about sir. So sad! But what we can do about what is pre written?” he said and drew imaginary lines on his forehead from left to right using his forefinger of his right hand.

I could see Nammu Aunty becoming dull by his words. I was wondering what to do, but Dammu had taken charge.

“What did you say your name was?” she asked him and after hearing his reply continued, “Tell me one thing sir, how you recognized this madam though she came here after so many years?”

The sadness on Nammu Aunty’s face got mitigated to some extent. She also looked at the person to know his reply.

“What madam! You are asking how I recognized. She is like my mother. I can recognize her kind eyes even if she comes after another two decades!” he said proudly.

Nammu Aunty smiled. The topic had got changed. But I felt bad. Two decades... twenty years... I do hope she will live for another twenty months... at least.

We were introduced to two more leaders of the village. One big guy and a smart lady.

Nammu Aunty took us for a stroll in the village. She showed her hut. It was in a dilapidated condition. The middle sized man was uncomfortable when Nammu Aunty looked at him questioningly.

“Madam, sorry. I made a mistake. I should not have taken the house from you. It is yours. You can use as long as you are alive” he declared.

The statement was made in good intension. But we felt bad, or at least I was feeling bad.

Now we approached a big neem tree under which a square ledge was built which could seat about 10 people around it.

The three people whom we met, who are the leaders of the village were sitting on the ledge. About 20 men and about 30 women were sitting on the ground in front of the ledge. When we reached there was a hush.

The middle sized man was trying to introduce us to the audience. Then Dammu took charge.

“My brothers and sisters, My name is Damayanthi. Do you know this lady?” she asked.

There was a murmur of voices. Nammu Aunty cleared her throat. Everyone looked at her. “You can call me Nammu. The house which is the first one in the first line belonged to us once upon a time. Now, your leader has kindly consented to give it to us again” She said.

I was watching Nammu Aunty. She was feeling a sort of elated. May be it was the weather which was very pleasant. The breeze was making her hair go wavy. There was a glow on her face.

“I want to have 15 minutes of  your precious time. We would like to explain some important things which need to be followed...” she went on for some time.

The people nodded in enthusiasm.

“Madam, only 15 minutes? What things you can teach in just 15 minutes?” asked one girl who was sitting in the front.

“15 minutes every day” said Nammu Aunty.

Dammu and I looked at each other with a surprised look. How will she come all the way here every day to this village? I wondered.

What's her mistake ? - 28

Why she kept Nammu in her house? When Dammu explained and gave the reason, I was stunned. Yes, I was stunned. There was no other feeling I could have had. I remembered the words for a long time, even long after..... Sorry, I know it was inevitable, but I can’t think of even thinking about the ultimate end. I am getting my eyes wet.... whenever I think of Dammu and Nammu Aunty. What a great pair of ladies!

But first things first....!

Dammu was reading the newspaper when Nammu Aunty walked out of her room. I watched the exuberance with which she walked.

“Oh Nammu, you are ready to kill someone! You are looking great!” exclaimed Dammu.

Nammu Aunty blushed. She had worn a green cotton sari which was well starched.  She came near Dammu and sat down in the next chair.

“Dammu, remember I was talking about helping people about cancer awareness yesterday? I know a village. I used to go with my husband almost regularly. It is a lovely place. Once I became a mother I could not go again. Then so many things happened and now....” she left the sentence in the middle. A line of pain got formed for a second on her forehead making her small bindhi looking bent.

“Ok, ok... I understand by your speech that you would love to visit the village. Correct? Young man! Heard what Nammu said? Please ask the driver to keep the car ready. You also join us young man” she said and went in to her room

When she came out we could not recognise her! She was wearing a cotton sari which was of different shade of green color!

Nammu Aunty’s approval could be seen in her eyes. Dammu generally preferred churidars. Today her look was totally different!

“Come, let us go and see your village!” said Dammu and caught hold of Nammu Aunty’s hand and they hurried towards the car.

I was wondering whether these ladies have any problem of health! They were like two young high school going girls who love the world and do not care about any problem!

The car went out of the city limits and finally we could see the roads being empty and the vehicles became less and less.

Nammu Aunty was talking nineteen to the dozen about the village. The pain of her husband’s tragic death also had slowly faded. She could talk about him and his involvement in the village.

“After the birth of the first son itself, I became totally busy in looking after him. Later the other three kids were born. I became so busy looking after their health and education that only my husband used to go to the village once in a while. I could never go. My job was only to keep the key of our house safe and handover to my husband whenever he left for the village”

“What?” shouted Dammu. “Do you have a house in the village?” she asked turning towards Nammu Aunty. I also turned from the front seat.

“Oh, you can’t call it a house! It is just a small hut with basic amenities. I can’t imagine you liking it after being in such a big bungalow” said Nammu Aunty shyly.

“Oh,, come on! You can’t brand me that way! Did I any day tell you that I am averse to hut?” asked Dammu with false anger.

Nammu Aunty lauged. There was a tinge of sadness in her laughter. What is the matter? I wondered.

“I do hope that you have brought the key” said Dammu.

Nammu Aunty in a very small voice replied. “Now I don’t need the key. The house is no longer ours. We had to sell the house to the village leader due to our problems”.

What's her mistake ? - 27

Nammu Aunty was very moody the whole day after we came back from the park. The oncologist had given some figures. The figures were alarming.

He had told, “There are 5 lakh deaths due to cancer in our country alone. From past 3 years, the number is rising by 10,000 every year”

Nammu Aunty had made just one comment. “Dammu, what were the figures the oncologist gave? The prevalence of cancer in the country is about 27 lakh. The incidence of new cancer cases every year in the country is about 11 lakh. We are just two of the big number Dammu! Now onwards I will only think of how to help the cancer patients. I will never worry about what has happened to me. We will see how we can help some people at least. The awareness of cancer, I think, is more important than the disease itself”

Dammu nodded. “You are right Nammu. Prevention is better than cure. I think you are more moved with the fact that the people you met today do have problems which look bigger in magnitude than ours” She stressed the word ‘ours’, I thought.

Dammu does not look as if she has problems. So, she is indirectly telling Nammu Aunty not to worry.

The pancreas cancer affected lady was in good hands. She had good treatment. But two men and two women in that group were being ill-treated by their children. 

“So, there is no hard and fast rule that all children are bad. The women with laryngeal cancer and liver cancer have kept their children away. They have enough money even after giving property to their children. The result is most of the elders have to suffer from both the disease and the loneliness either brought by themselves or by their children. Sad state of affairs!”  said Nammu Aunty.

I remembered that Nammu Aunty’s children themselves are ignoring her. It must be piercing her like a pin. She was not ready to talk about it because she feels that one day they would come back to her.

We had reached home from the park.

Nammu Aunty went to her room to sleep. I knew she was moody. May be she was remembering her children. May be she wanted to see her grandchildren. But how? I was not able to fathom.

Thanks to Dammu. She took Nammu Aunty (and me too!) under her wings. Why?

At that moment I wanted to know a truth from Dammu. I had to ask her that only when Nammu Aunty was not around.

Dammu was sitting in a chair on the lawn. The shadow of the big house was wide enough to give shelter from the sun. I sat next to her.

Nammu Aunty had come out for lunch and had gone back to her room. She was carrying a book on cancer. It looked as if she was planning to do something.

“I have a question” I said when Dammu put down the book she was keenly reading all this time. I did not want to disturb her when she was doing something useful like reading a book.

“Tell me young man! It is not every day that you ask a question. It must be very important!” she smiled at me.

The smile encouraged me and gave me courage. “Why have you taken Nammu Aunty as your friend? You have never known her before?” I asked.

Dammu smiled and said, “I think I told you earlier. She resembles my elder sister. That is why!”

“But you are the only child as per the narration of your life story!” I said indignantly.

“Hold on young man! Are you accusing me of telling a lie?” she asked severely. But there was a glint in her eyes which I could not understand.

“Not that Dammu. You never mentioned about any other relation in your family. So....” I left the sentence incomplete.

“So, you have become a police and enquiring me?” she stood up and put her left hand on her left hip.

I was embarrassed. Why should I worry about this? Actually I was eager to  know why I have been taken into her house.

“She resembles my sister... my husband’s first wife....” she said seriously.

“Oh!” I uttered. I did not expect this reply. I know that the first wife can be addressed as ‘didi’ in Hindi which means elder sister.

“Young man, now you want to know how closely they resemble each other...? Yes, both have two eyes, one nose, two ears...” she stopped by looking at my open mouth and started laughing.

“You are priceless young man! You still did not know why I have taken Nammu into my house? Then listen!”

What's her mistake ?- 26

I counted them. 3 men and 4 women. We went near them. The lady with pancreas cancer caught the attention of the seven people.

“Hello, we have one more entrant to our club. This is Damayanthi!” She introduced.

“Greetings to you all. I feel like taking attendance. Please don’t take any offence by my words. We are all sailing in the same boat. It is as if who is going to be the first in the race and who is the runner up, third place etc.,” Her words sounded very crude, but her broad smile made the whole set of people smile.

First man lifted his hand – “Renal Cancer”

Second man – “Lung cancer”

Third man hesitated. So the first woman said, “Ovarian cancer”

Second woman piped in “Bone cancer”

Third woman whispered “Laryngeal cancer”

The fourth woman said, “Liver cancer”

Dammu looked at her very keenly. She was a small woman. She was wearing a scarf.

Liver and breast? I wondered the pain she is undergoing.

A youth of about 23 years came there. “Ah, here comes the baby of our team!” said the pancreas cancer lady. “Damayanthi, he has blood cancer!” she declared.

The third man who hesitated earlier said in a very agitated voice, “ I have been diagnosed with testicular cancer”

Nammu Aunty suddenly went into the middle of the group and said, “I have tongue cancer”

My head was reeling. Here are just 10 people with different types of cancer. Oh God! This is a nightmare!

The man who hesitatingly declared that he has testicular cancer now spoke. “You can see madam, the variety of the disease of cancer. We all come from various backgrounds. Cancer is becoming a number one killer disease. It strikes all classes of people... irrespective of economic status” He paused for a moment and looked at me directly. “Young man, by God’s grace I think you are spared of this horrible pain. We have about 11 types of cancer in this small group. Can you imagine how many types of cancers may be there in this world?” He asked.

“You seem to have so much knowledge about cancer sir?”Dammu asked.

“Yes, there are at least 40 to 50 organs which are attacked by cancerous cells. I am an oncologist” he said.

I was looking at the irony of the nature. A cancer curing (at least trying to cure) doctor is attacked by cancer!

The lady with ovarian cancer now spoke. “We all should thank the oncologist here. The moment he came to know that he himself is attacked by cancer, he took it as a mission to put together all the people with cancer. He tries to give us little tips to get our pain reduced. As such some of us are not being treated well by our folks. Of course, there are some people who are in good hands. Like our madam with pancreas cancer. Her son and daughter adore her and are taking all possible steps” she turned towards the woman with pancreas cancer and smiled. She smiled back at the ovarian cancer affected woman.

“We all belong to various castes and groups. But we are having one mission. We have undergone treatment. Some people are lucky. For example, here the 23 year old young man, the baby of our team is cured from Blood cancer. But he still feels it is his duty to spend some time with us” said the oncologist.

The young man spoke now. “I am an engineering student. I was diagnosed with Blood cancer two years ago. I was admitted and treated for eight months. I am leading a normal life now. I am healthy. I am a computer engineer. But I should thank a foundation which is helping cancer affected people”

I started having hope. If this young man could be cured of blood cancer, why not Nammu Aunty?

But the oncologist who was looking at Nammu Aunty at the very moment said, “Madam! is the treatment given to you has made you feel better?”

Nammu Aunty moved her head giving a negative signal.

I was feeling very bad by her signal. Is the end inevitable? How soon? The question whirled in inside my head.

What's her mistake ? - 25

Dammu went and sat next to her and started moving her hand up and down her back. The woman seemed have become little pacified by Dammu’s silent action.

After a few minutes she wiped the tears which were running down her weak cheeks. Yes, the lady was very weak. Nammu Aunty and I were standing opposite them.

“Now tell me, what is the crying for? Are you happy to see me? Or are you unhappy that you saw me again?” Dammu asked in a casual manner. There was a tinge of teasing in her voice.

That lady turned to Dammu and hugged her. Then she said, “I am sorry that I was rude to you when I met with you in the cancer hospital. God punished me for making fun of your artificial breasts!” her voice choked again.

“Oh, come on! God gave me the original. Then the breasts were removed due to cancer. Now I am wearing the artificial breasts. You told the truth. But why you are feeling bad?” asked Dammu.

“Damayanti, I have been diagnosed with pancreas cancer” said the old lady in a low tone.

I felt pity for her. Nammu Aunty had become very dull. Dammu was her usual self. “Hey, you are saying as if you have common cold! Do you know it is very difficult to even reach the pancreas for any treatment? But you should not worry. Your son and daughter adore you!” she said.

The old lady seemed to have found her voice back. She nodded affirmatively.

“See, you have no worry in life. Your contacts are good. Meet some doctor who could give you some pain killers which help you to overcome the pain”

“You are right Dammu. I am one of those lucky ones. I am in fine hands. The kids treat me very well; I am being treated by one of the best oncologists. Of course, the grandchildren are making me feel like living for some more years. That is anyway not possible. I am just waiting for the call from HIM” she said and pointed her right point finger towards the sky.

“See Nammu, do you call her lucky that she has loving people around or unlucky because she has very less time to live?” Dammu asked looking at Nammu Aunty, but holding the pancreas cancer affected old lady lovingly with her right arm.

Nammu Aunty was just watching the pair. I felt I knew what she was thinking. One lady has all the love in the world  which Nammu Aunty was deprived of.  Her children treated her like rag. They simply are not caring to even communicate with her. So sad! The other (Dammu) was mentioning that she was pregnant. But what happened next... still not known to us.

The other lady smiled looking at Dammu’s face. “I still feel bad that when I learnt that you had cancer, I showed off that I am fine without any problem. But now I also have cancer” she said.

Dammu still was patting the back of that lady. “Don’t worry, you know very well that cancer is curable nowadays. It is not like olden days when a person was diagnosed with cancer, it was almost like writing that person’s death sentence!...” Dammu looked at Nammu Aunty and said, “Like I said, if we come to know about the symptoms of cancer in early stages, cancer can be cured. I hope that the educated people give courage to the uneducated by teaching them about cancer. I have seen a lot of ladies succumbing to breast cancer because they are shy to go to even a lady doctor!”

Nammu Aunty looked as if she is learning new lessons.

The other lady said, “Damayanthi, I want to you to meet some people who are sitting there.” I could see a few old men and women sitting and chatting at some distance.  “In fact, it is a club they have made bringing together people of this area who share the same taste” she ended her talk with a dry smile.

“Oh, is it a laughter club?” I asked, since I had seen some clubs like that.

“No young man! Cancer affected people’s club” she saidW h