Yuva - Kathe -1

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                                                             -0-0-0-

Procrastination or plain lazy?

It is 160 days since I wrote on this blog. Not a very happy thing as far as I am concerned. It is another matter what others think when they come to this blogger page and find that nothing is added. But will they? Have they? No idea. Funnily my intentions are honorable. Only thing is that I am incapable of putting my ideas on the paper. Come to think of it, is it the reason that I am unable to write?
There was a time when I was making notes on odd sheets of paper or there was another time when I used to keep a small note book in my pocket. Whatever I find interesting, pathetic, sad, happy, funny, in other words, something worth noting and sharing with others, I was noting down. Many a times, it was being very useful during my days of active writing.
The Murphy's law... yes, I am remembering him a lot nowadays. There is a saying in Kannada. The availability of nuts to a toothless person and a person with teeth is deprived of nuts. Ooh, I am going nuts. The simile is given because of situation of mine. I remember the days when no one was ready to publish my works and I was forced to become a publisher. If you can't lick them, join them.
Today I have at least 2 publishers whom I can request to publish my works and I have full faith that they would oblige. I know at least two more who could be coaxed!
But... the big BUT is that I can't write. Can't could be a misnomer. I can write, but I won't would be a better of choice of words.
To catch upon an earlier sentence, during my early writing days, I was using pen and paper or diary (This was my favourite thing. Many a times, though the subject could have been expanded, as the diary's last page was reached, I have cut down the story. May be this is the reason my stories have got a O. Henry-ish touch!!).  Today, I love to use my computer and the phonetic keyboard for the 'writing'.
I am a Kannada writer, remember?
To choose a diary with lot of lines, a page a day was fun. Choosing a fountain pen to write was another enjoyment. Sometimes, the color of the ink was also counted.
Now all these things are things of the past. Is that why I am not able to write?
Hey, the new year 2014 is approaching! I can take up a new resolution. I shall write at least a page per day. That way I will have 365 pages of writing. Each page in a computer would be two pages. That means 730 pages ... hmm.. if each book is of 150 pages, then at least 5 books for 2014? Suppose I double it the next year? 10 books? or one magnum opus of 1500 pages like all these newbies writing a big novel in 3 parts?
Ha... idea is nice. Putting it into action is a problem, which I have to, of course, overcome.
Let us see!

Boredom

There is a sentence people say when they don’t feel like doing anything, ‘I am bored’.

What is boredom? When we feel like doing nothing at all. At such times we don’t feel like eating, watching, drinking, thinking or even lying down.

Best way to ‘kill’ boredom is to watch something moving. Yes, for example, if we have a trough with fish, we could ‘kill’ hours together just watching their movements.

It is one of the best methods to remove one’s boredom. The incessant movement of fish, their fight for food, survival.. all these would make us feel fascinated.

I have had a big cement tank full of guppy fish. The fish were caught in canal of dirty water near my house. I am talking about 1970’s when I was a teenager. The fish were very colorful. Especially the male ones. The top fin and the tail were in multicolours. Against the male, the female guppies were very plain. How did we find out which one was male and which one was the female?

Good question! The female fish would have their tummy swollen and they were laying eggs. So, it was easy to recognize them. We (I, my sisters, my cousin Venkatesh) used to remove the ‘pregnant’ fish from the tank and place it in a ‘Horlicks’ bottle. After the eggs hatched, we let the small baby fish into the big tank. We had to take a precaution though. We put back the mother and the baby fish during the night when the other fish were asleep. Otherwise the other big fish ate away the small baby fish ‘thinking’ that it was their food!

Food, yes! We were going for hunting of worms for the fish apart from the regular powdered fish food. We went back to the dirty water canal with a bottle and a few small sticks. The red coloured worms used to get stuck to some part of water and were wavering. we happily took those worms using a stick or two and dump them in our bottle.

Much to my mother’s annoyance we were doing this regularly! Her thinking was that the dirty water is unhygienic and could get us some incurable diseases!

But all the scoldings were put behind when we used to watch the fish jump against each other to catch hold of the worms (reddish orange in colour) when we lowered the worms into the big fish tank.

We were always at the fish tank watching the fish. Though we knew that the coloured fish are the male ones, we had named them Hema Malini, Rekha, Jyothilakshmi (a famous cabaret dancer of those days!).

Boredom could be removed by even sitting in a park and watching cute little children play. Try to follow one child’s antics in a park and you will agree with me that the boredom vanishes by watching cute children.

Hardships and family

After a long time I felt like writing again. Life is full of ups and downs which are unexpected. For example, we feel the vehicle in which we are travelling is moving smoothly from a long time. Out of the blue, there is a road block in front of us.

What will happen to the vehicle? It has got to stop. Whether we like it or not. If the vehicle stops, the destination cannot be reached when we are planning to reach. This leads to many other complications.
We need to search for a place to eat, before that something to eat and of course, other paraphernalia would follow.

But if there is no change, life is not called life. It would be horribly routine. Human nature is such a thing that it gets adjusted to any situation. Only thing is the mind or what we call manassu in Kannada. We need to buy courage from somewhere if we do not have in us.

We have all must have the ad for some aerated drink. The hero asks, ‘Do you have it in you?’

The ‘it’ here means courage . Only the courage can make us go through all the obstacles. Of course, the support from the fellow travelers is a must.

There is a song in Kannada. For the chariot called life, which has to go on the roads of hardships and smoothness, it needs two wheels. The husband and the wife.

Of course, this is for the married couple.

For the young people who are still studying, if they want to take up  a bold step, it is the parents who have to understand their kid’s requirement and desire and act upon it in favour of the kid.

Then the kid would be happy to go forward and he/she would never forget the help extended by the parents. Tell me, who else the kids can go for any help? Obviously the parents.

The trust, the friendship, the love and affection among the family members make the whole thing a dream sail.

Let’s try to fight the hardships together.

"I spy you!" - 78

Vasupradha’s heart stopped for a moment and started beating fast. That means there are no more nightmares for Amruta. She can be very comfortable in her life. Her tormentor has been jailed! That’s good news!

Now she turned towards Durjaya and asked “What other news you have?”

Durjaya hesitated and went on swallowing many a times.

“Hey, did you make any mistake in life?” she asked anxiously.

He seemed to have a hold on himself once she had uttered this sentence. “Yes! I have made the biggest mistake in my life!” he said and sighed. But his eyes were bright.

“So, who is the lucky girl?” she immediately guessed and banged on his back.

He said “Ouch!” and got up and stood in front of her and said, “Yes, I have been engaged to be married”

Vasupradha smiled. Her happiness was genuine because she really liked Durjaya, like her own younger brother.

“My marriage has been fixed with Jyothi. I am cordially inviting you in advance to my marriage. So, don’t give any reasons. You have to come please!” said in an imploring voice.

“How do you expect me to escape attending my younger brother’s wedding? I am there for all the three days” she said.

“Ok, ok. You can come for three days. But the marriage is a simple affair of a day, that’s all” he said with some hesitation.

“That’s ok. We should save money. Throwing money for a lavish marriage is not a good idea anyway” she said and added “I am happy for you. Where is the wedding?”

“In the temple near our office. The girl Jyothi recently joined and we hit it off from the first day!” he said with a blush.

“Oh, love marriage! I love love marriages!” she exclaimed and suddenly became quiet. What was she saying? Was that on her mind all this time? Was she thinking of a love marriage with Pushpahaasa? Oh God, this man’s shadow leaves me only when I die.

She got up and went to her cupboard and found a box.

She came to Durjaya and gave him the box and said, “This is a small gift from my side” she said.

“Hey elder sister! Don’t try to escape coming just because you have given a gift” said Durjaya, though accepting the box.

“No, no I will come” she said and asked, “You said three news. I heard two. What is the third one?”

“Oh no, it is a mistake. No more news” he said. By the way he uttered those words, she knew he was hiding something.

“What is it?” she asked sharply. But immediately she regretted her tone. But Durjaya did not seem to mind.  “Nothing special elder sister. Someone enquired about you” he said and added, “Pushpahaasa”

"I spy you!" - 77

But she was sure that Amruta was definitely been mistaken. Any day, Purshpahaasa was a gentleman and he would definitely not hurt Amruta.

Another doubt crept into her mind. If she is saying that Pushpahaasa attacked her, then where is SahishNu? She was sure that she saw him driving towards Amruta’s house. Is she getting confused between Pushpahaasa and SahishNu? It can’t be. Though both have the same build and handsome features, how could Amruta not recognize the father of her child? This one thing Vasu could not fathom.

Or was it her subconscious mind which is giving a wrong description? She does not want to believe that the man who sired her child could be bad? She must have had some hallucinations to give the wrong description.

Deciding on that she heaved a sigh of relief. The next moment another doubt haunted her. Had he come by any chance? May be he was following SahishNu. Why should he follow SahishNu?

All questions and no answers.

Most of her questions were answered by Durjaya’s next visit. He came as a breeze on a day when Vasupradha was hot and bothered. She did not know what to do. Amruta had become moody. She even pushed Vaasu when he went near her.

“Ammu! He is only a kid. If you are not feeling well, please tell me. I will take care of him” said Vasu and picked the crying child.

Amruta was as usual was somewhere else mentally. Vasu wondered whether she needed some psychiatric treatment when Vaasu was born. She had heard that there were many women who had a weak mind during delivery would behave very strangely and could be even dangerous.

She was contemplating whether to take Amruta to the State capital and get her see a psychiatrist.

She coaxed Amruta to start. But Amruta was strangely being rude. Vasu was thinking – Oh God, what a situation! Looks like Ammu needs a visit to the psychiatrist. But she is not budging.

When she was so down and out that she did not see Durjaya entering the house. He had come and silently sat next to her on the Deevan.

After watching Vasupradha for two minutes, he touched her shoulder.

Vasupradha almost jumped out of her skin. She moved her hand to hit out the attacker. Durjaya deftly caught her hand, faced her and smiled at her.

Vasupradha forced a smile on her face. After two minutes it dawned to her that the person who came was Durjaya. She had no right to treat him like that. She suddenly got up and rushed to the kitchen and prepared coffee and brought two cups along with kODu baLe in a plate. “Oh elder sister! I had forgotten the taste of this!” he exclaimed after eating one kODu baLe in one go.

Vasupradha smiled and asked him how he was. “I am fine. I have two news for you...” he said and then said, “No three! First the official news. There is this guy SahishNu.... he has been arrested and I am sure he would go be in jail for the rest of his life!” 

"I spy you" - 76

Vasupradha’s mind was in turmoil. What to do now? She felt that Amruta would be in trouble and needs her to be present.

She took some more minutes to think and looked out. As luck would have it, there was no one to mind the class during her absence.

She was very worried about Amruta. But she could not do anything. Added to this, a kid was little home sick and she had to give extra time to take care of the kid.

When the time came to close the school for the day, she was thankful and rushed home. Vaasu seemed to know her tension and kept silent.

She reached home and called Amruta. She was not seen anywhere.

She suspected that Amruta must have been taken a prisoner by SahishNu. Vasu was at a loss not knowing what to do.

Vaasu started making small noises which made Vasu to forget other things. She went to the kitchen and found that the food was prepared. Vasu frowned. The food was quite hot.

Does that mean Amruta was here all this time? Does that mean SahishNu did not come here immediately? Or did he come just before Vasu entered the house and took away Amruta? What would have done with Amruta? Suppose something had happened to her, what would happen to Vaasu?

The questions started swirling in Vasu’s head. But she removed her thoughts and fed Vaasu and after playing with him for a few moments, she put him to sleep.

She was not able to eat anything though she was hungry. She sat on a chair next to the bed of Vaasu and kept a hand on his chest so as to make him sleep well.

At that silent moment she heard a faint sound. Or was it loud enough for her to hear? She could not know. She got up quietly and went to the back of the house from where she was getting the sound.

When she saw the body lying in the bushes, she gasped for air. There, in the bushes, was lying Amruta’s body.

Body? She rushed nearby and found with a sigh of relief that Amruta was alive. She rushed back to the kitchen and brought a utensil full of water and sprinkled the water on Amruta’s face.

She whimpered and tried to get up. She was feeling the back of her head. Vasu touched the back of Amruta’s head and she found some blood stuck to her hand.

She forced Amruta to get up and slowly took her inside and made her to sit on the chair. With the help of an antiseptic lotion, she washed the back of Amruta’s head. The blow was bad. But not very bad to make her get admitted to the hospital.

Amruta opened her eyes and smiled feebly at Vasu. She tried to tell something. But Vasu tried to shush her. Amruta was eager to say something. “It is the same person. He attacked me again!”

Vasu could not believe her ears. What did she mean? Pushpahaasa? Was he the attacker? She was perplexed to even think further. The name hidden in her heart’s depth had surfaced again!!