What's her mistake ? - 21

“My husband was from a Thakur Family in the North. He was forced to marry a girl by his parents and grandparents. He married her, but he did not get any heirs. So, they were forcing him to marry another girl to continue their lineage since his wife did not get any children” Dammu continued her narration.

My God! This lady’s story has too many twists and turns! Now in which new entanglement she is caught?

“I came to know about it since after about 15 days of my husband’s death, 3 people visited my house. I was alone in the house. 2 men and a woman. There was an old man, a young man who was just looking like my husband and an old woman. The old man and the old woman were my husband’s parents. Nammu, somehow I could never refer them as my in laws because the marriage was never known to the outside world. The younger man who was just looking like my husband, was my husband’s brother, very much younger to him, almost of my age. It seems the family had two sons. First one was my husband....”

Dammu continued her narration. It seems that Dammu’s ‘husband’ was considered a traitor since he deserted the family and especially his wife. They were searching for him to kill him. That is the reason he ran away from home and found safe house in down South and settled as neighbour. Unfortunately Dammu was smitten by him and submitted herself to him completely.

“The old man was very rude. The old woman was not at all friendly. But the younger brother of my husband was very pally. I was wondering why...”

Nammu Aunty stood up and said, “Sorry Dammu! Two things... your story is too much for me to digest in one day. Secondly I am feeling very giddy. Did you undergo the same problem earlier?”

Dammu became very much concerned. She dialed her driver to come fast and we took Nammu Aunty to the hospital.

The problem of Nammu Aunty had become worse than we expected. She had become very tired. We were made to wait outside while she was admitted to the Intensive care unit.

“Dammu, how come the problem has become so severe suddenly?” I asked while we were sitting on the chairs which were placed outside the ICU.

“Young man! The strength of the patient is one thing. The second is the severity of the problem. The third is .....” she sighed and said, “the patient’s destiny”

I just nodded. I have seen Nammu Aunty from a long time. She has shared whatever food she had kept for eating. I had shamelessly eaten because I could not contain my hunger. Also because I loved the way Nammu Aunty used to feed me. Her affectionate words were what I was craving for.

The treatment made Nammu Aunty very weak. She was so weak that Dammu requested the doctor to keep her in the hospital for some more days.

The treatment was very costly. If Nammu Aunty had not got the support of Dammu, she could not have survived this long.

May be Nammu Aunty has done some help to other people during her better days health-wise and money-wise. Now, she is getting help from someone who was a stranger to her till recently. May be, this is the way God helps who are good in their heart and deeds.

This time the doctor had suggested Nammu Aunty to take some injections every day. Each injection costing very high. Dammu did not flinch. She spent the money like water. She ensured that a doctor came home and gave the injection every day.

Nammu Aunty was looking more fragile than earlier. The speech had a slur now.

She was on her bed in her room. Dammu was sitting on the bed holding Nammu Aunty’s weak hand.

Nammu Aunty whispered something and Dammu bent her head to catch her words.

Then she sat straight and smiled, “You want to know what happened next?... Ok, listen. The old couple, I mean my husband’s parents had come to know that I had married him. As my husband was dead, their custom was that I should marry the younger son to get them an heir”

I was surprised to hear such a custom.

“I told them that it was not possible. They were not accepting my denial. So, I had to let the cat out of the bag that I was pregnant. I thought they would be shocked. Funnily they did not get shocked. Instead, the old couple exchanged such a look that sent a chill up my spine”

What's her mistake ?- 20

I was so shocked looking at the completely bald head of Dammu that I forgot what Nammu Aunty was thinking. When I turned towards her, it looked as if she was having a worse jolt.

It was Dammu’s peals of laughter which helped us in mitigating the shock we were undergoing. In fact, Dammu’s laughter was so infectious that we had to forget everything and join Dammu in her ‘joyous’ mood.

“Oh Nammu, I wanted to tell you from the day I saw you that this...”she showed her wig, “is not real. But I did not get a chance. Remember I lost both the breasts due to breast cancer? The chemotherapy helped in killing the cancerous cells, but it also made me go totally bald. Remember, I am very rich? So, with the implant of artificial breasts, I also got a nice wig from US of A which is frightfully real. Isn’t looking so real?” asked Dammu.

Nammu had almost recovered from the shock of Dammu’s hair loss. She went near Dammu and said, “Dammu, I beg you. Please put it on. I can’t bear to see you like this”

Dammu smiled and wore it. It was not fitting her cent percent and it looked comical on her head now. But still, it was better than her baldness.

The day passed quickly. I went to the garden and plucked a few tender grass leaves which were trying to germinate out of the pots which had lovely roses.

The roses were looking so elegant. By watching them I felt very serene. There were many new colors which I had never seen earlier.

The evening turned into the night. We had food at the dining hall. I could feel that Nammu Aunty was still keen to know what happened next in Dammu’s life. I was equally interested.  A stone gets beaten by the chisel of a sculptor before it becomes a lovely piece of art.

Likewise the God ensures that person undergo a lot of torture in life before the person becomes who can be called ‘perfect’.

If the person comes out of the torture victorious, then he will ensure that he doesn’t get affected by any more difficulties. But if someone becomes totally defeated, then it is his/her fate.

I have read somewhere... I think a quote.... we have been cut, broken, cussed, ... etc., all types of torture, but we still here to see what in the hell will happen next...

Dammu started talking. “I have read Manku Timmana Kagga  written by Dr. DV Gundappa. In one of the poems he says, Vidhi or the fate wets us, bakes us, cuts us, slices us, puts us in heat, fries us in oil, fires us and burns us in the oven of earth and smacks her lips” she looked at us and continued, “so true! We have to undergo all these tortures and still feel ok, because there has to be a reason for which we are still alive” she touched Nammu Aunty’s hand and said, “yes Nammu, I am still alive to see what next”

Nammu Aunty was looking at Dammu with look of wonder in her eyes. “Oh, Dammu, you put it so succinctly about what one should do. I would love to read the book!” she said.

“That’s not a problem! Young man! You go to the library room and pick up the book for Nammu” said Dammu looking at me.

I nodded. But Nammu Aunty said, “I shall visit myself and see what books I can read. I was an avid reader before .... my kids were born....” She stopped.

“Later you looked after them till they become independent. Later you had time but no inclination?” Dammu continued Nammu Aunty’s sentence and smiled. I knew that she was trying to remove the barb in her talk by smiling.

Nammu Aunty was totally silent.

To break the silence, Dammu said, “Alright. Let me tell my next step of the story. It is not at all entertaining. But still....” she sighed and said, “ I found out that my ‘husband’ had run away from home  and his folks were searching for him and he was hiding in the house next to ours”

What's her mistake ? - 19

Nammu Aunty stood up as if she can’t any more of this.

I followed the suit. Dammu also got up with a nostalgic look in her eyes.

Poor lady! Is it a crime to marry a person whom we like? I know we have to respect our parents and give weightage to their words. But does it mean that just because it’s a golden needle given by our parents, should we have to pierce in the eye?

I think the days are changed and even the parents have changed nowadays. Should I consider myself to be lucky that my parents are dead?

I did not like the way I was thinking. But is this the way it is? Of course, the parents have the right to choose our life partners. After all, they do it because they feel whatever they do is for the good of their children. But if the children are not ready to accept the parents’ choice, why not they respect the children’s choice?

“Nammu, did I make you feel bad?” asked Dammu, putting steps to match with Nammu Aunty’s. I followed two steps behind them.

“No Dammu. I always thought my life is full of problems. God has given problems only to me. But I think I am fine compared to your life. Oh, poor Dammu....!” she said and stopped. She took the hands of Dammu in her hands. Nammu Aunty’s hands looked very fragile compared to Dammu’s which was looking quite strong.

Dammu faced Nammu Aunty and said, “Life is always comparison Nammu. I am better than a person who is at the edge of death due to severity of cancer. I have more time to live. Because God has given me strength to take more tests and therapies”

Nammu Aunty just nodded her head. She stepped forward and tripped. As she was about to fall, Dammu caught hold of her hair as she could not get any other part of Nammu Aunty. Once Nammu Aunty became steady, Dammu let her go.

But Dammu looked at her hand in dismay. There was a good amount of hair strands in her hand. Those had come from Nammu Aunty’s head. The Chemotherapy was showing its side effects!

It was Nammu Aunty’s turn to smile. “It is alright. The oncologist had already warned about it. In fact, I am feeling uncomfortable in my mouth. I think the chemotherapy is happily enjoying by making us uncomfortable. I have a feeling that it is severe in some people. May be because I am weak” were the words which came out of Nammu’s mouth. Does that mean she will have her mouth problems as well?

Oh God! This means she would be able to eat properly. Once the food intake comes down, the problems increase - were the words spoken by the oncologist.

We went inside and Nammu Aunty was not at all in good shape. Both of us caught her as she was about to fall. I started thinking, the oncologist told that she has at least 6 months to live. But she is looking so tired now itself. Does that mean her death has become nearer?

I could not think further. We steadied her and made her walk to her room. She sat on the bed thankfully and started crying a little. No sound, just the tears running down her cheeks from her eyes.

“Hey Nammu, Come on. You are stronger than this. Please don’t cry. The hair loss is something no one undergoing chemotherapy has escaped” said Dammu patting Nammu Aunty on her back.

“You can say anything Dammu. You have a long hair. You are pretty too. But I look very bad without my hair. Oh, I wish my death comes to me as early as possible” Nammu Aunty sobbed closing her eyes.

Is she feeling bad because she should not look bald in front of her children and grandchildren who could come someday to see her?

Dammu laughed. I sharply looked at her. Here is a lady who is crying because she might lose her hair and become bald. And the other lady sees a joke in it!

I was about to say some harsh words. I stopped them in time because I was watching Dammu putting her hand to her hair. With a little twist she pulled  at her hair and to my horror the whole hair from Dammu’s head was suddenly in her hands.

Dammu was completely bald without a single strand of hair on her head!

What's her mistake ? - 18

Is there any incident in this lady’s life which is very cool and composed? I thought when she told that her husband died the day he met her father.

“I had told you that my father was keen to take me to Delhi to see a boy. He was so interested in that alliance that it seems he had already told his friend about his intentions of making the friend’s son my husband. The words were heard by the son who was to marry me.”

She stopped and contemplating how to tell the next words. It was evident from her squirming, stopping of talk etc.,

“Nammu, my life had some twists and turns that day. I must have been a woman with a heart of stone to digest the incidents happened in my life that day. I fully started believing fact is stranger than fiction after that day”

I felt that this introduction is going to be calm before the storm. I looked at Nammu Aunty. She too was eager to know.

“That boy had entered the house and waiting for my father which I was not aware of. My ‘Gaandharva husband’ had come into the house already. So, I introduced him to my father that ‘this is my husband and I am going to marry him’”

My father looked at me as if I have gone crazy. “What dear! You say he is your husband and you are also saying that you are going to marry him?” he asked.

May be my flushed face told him the real story or the strong hand of my ‘husband’ which was put on my shoulders possessively, he lost his temper and screamed, “Have you slept with this person? Is that what you are telling me?”

“What can I say to him? Can I say that I was sleeping with him since more than two years? ... I was wondering what to tell, then out of the blue, the boy whom I was supposed to marry stormed inside and before my ‘husband’ could react, hit him at the back of his neck with such a force that my husband fell down with a thud”

Nammu Aunty was horrified with this narration. But Dammu’s face said there is some more to follow.

“The boy from North was really a very rough and hefty person. The beating he gave my husband was so bad that I felt that my husband must have lost consciousness. I screamed at my servants to get me a doctor. Till the doctor came, I was sitting next to my husband and tried to fan some air on his face. My father was glaring at me because I was trying to wake my husband up....

“The doctor came and checked the pulse of my husband and told that his condition is critical and has to be admitted to the hospital immediately. The moment he used the word critical, I fell down. Oh God, let my husband not die... I was praying.

“The God perhaps had some other devotee to save or he had hell bent on teaching me a lesson. The doctor felt my pulse and I don’t know how, he declared that I am pregnant without being subtle about it.

“I heard my father let out a big shout and fell like a freshly cut cocoanut tree. The doctor rushed to him and declared that my father is dead.

“I was stunned with these words and requested the doctor to take my ‘husband’ to the hospital. But fate had decided otherwise. The blow given by the ‘boy’ who had come to see me, was fatal.”

Nammu Aunty leaned forward in her chair. I was also listening to Dammu with bated breath.

“The doctor declared that my ‘husband’ was dead”

Nammu Aunty got out of her chair and placed her hand on Dammu’s shoulder and whispered “Oh Dammu! I don’t wish such a calamity even to my enemies”

Dammu smiled a pale smile and said, “The worst was yet to come”

I was wondering what could be worse than losing both husband and father on the same day!

What's her mistake ? - 17

I did not know what to do! Should I tell Nammu Aunty? Does she deserve to have this news when she is suffering?  I was in this dilemma till I reached the special room where Nammu Aunty was being treated.

She was not there. Only Dammu was there.

“Nammu has been taken for treatment. The chemotherapy” said Dammu, seeing the question in my eyes.

And she shuddered.

“Young Man, I don’t know why this disease comes to anyone. Whether it is our food habits or the weather or ...”she let a heavy breath out, “our luck”

Then she explained what could  happen to Nammu Aunty because of Chemotherapy. It will cause hair loss and nausea. Also dental and oral complications.

I felt very bad for Nammu Aunty. I should even feel bad for Dammu who has already undergone Chemotherapy and Radiation which are painful while undergoing.

“Nammu may have  mouth sores, infections, dry mouth, bleeding of the gums and lining of the mouth and general soreness and pain of the mouth..” Dammu was mentioning  them as if they are some Mantras.

I stopped her lifting my hand. Dammu let out a sad smile. “ Young man, even to listen to this, you are feeling bad, how about us, who are undergoing this torture?” and she put her hand on my arm and said, “You better know it. It helps in knowing”.

She gave some details. Chemotherapy works by killing rapidly growing cells. In someone with cancer, the cancer cells are typically the fastest growing cells in his or her body. Unfortunately, chemotherapy also may attack certain healthy cells which normally also grow quickly. For instance, the cells lining the oral cavity are fast growing and can be damaged by chemotherapy.

She ended saying, “Let her treatment be over. Oral problems usually go away after treatment ends. However, Like some people, she may continue to experience oral problems following chemotherapy. We will make sure our doctor and dentist are aware of any persistent side effects.”

I could only nod. Then I asked her what she did to avoid side effects.

She replied, “Doctor recommend sipping water, eating ice chips, and keeping mouth moist by chewing sugarless gum and candies to help prevent dryness and irritation”

After waiting for an eternity, Nammu Aunty came to the room. She looked very dull. She did not want to even speak to any of us. She just wanted to sleep.

It continued for about a week. Our life fell into a routine. I used to stay in the house in the night. In the mornings I stayed back and Dammu went home. In the afternoon, she came with food for both of us.   Then we used sit watching Nammu Aunty. During the night I went back to the house. Though I insisted, Dammu did not allow me to sleep in the hospital during nights.

“Young man, it is my duty and I will do it. You are helping me fine, in whatever you are doing” she said when I insisted that she should go back to the house and I stay with Nammu Aunty.

After a week she was little better. But the hair loss mentioned by Dammu was happening. Dammu tried to comb her hair carefully and failed. Nammu Aunty’s voice was weak. She was not able to speak louder than a whisper. She said her mouth and tongue felt very sore.

We came home on the eighth day. Before we left, the oncologist said to Dammu, “You know how things work, Madam Damayanthi! You know how to take care also” and Dammu nodded seriously.

Nammu Aunty brightened the moment we reached home or rather the moment we left from the hospital. She hates hospitals, I inferred.

We sat on the lawn after our dinner. The cool breeze was very pleasant.

Nammu Aunty looked at Dammu and asked, “Dammu, you were asking what is a husband before I fell sick. If you don’t mind, I would like to hear your life story to the end. Can you continue please?”

Her voice was barely a little above the whisper.

Dammu, I think, had got prepared to hear this. She nodded and told, “Yes, husband, Nammu, I had one. But I don’t know what to call him!! He was like Dushyantha to Shakuntala who underwent a Gaandharva vivaaha with God as the witness. We had no other witness for our marriage”

Nammu Aunty nodded.

“My husband from Gaandharva vivaaha died on the same day when he came to meet my father” said Dammu.

What's her mistake ? - 16

I did not know what would have been told by Dammu next. I was eager to know too. But there was a sudden noise from my side.

To my horror I found Nammu Aunty fallen on the ground holding her stomach and writhing with pain.

I saw Dammu come out of her flashback in a flash!

She arranged the car and driver to take Nammu Aunty to hospital. Both of us accompanied her. I sat next to the driver and Dammu took Nammu Aunty’s head on to her lap.

The oncologist was not there. Dammu called him and narrated the incident.

She listened to him and said, “He has asked to admit her. Let’s do it!”

We entered the hospital and got Nammu Aunty admitted to the hospital in a special room.

Nammu Aunty had not recovered her consciousness. We sat in front of her bed in the chairs. The room was quiet.

I saw Dammu shedding tears. They rolled down her cheeks and disappeared on her bosom.

I started thinking.... where does this end?

“Young man! You go home. Come in the morning with breakfast. For Nammu I am sure the hospital would provide food”

I left for home. I was thinking all the way... what good deeds have I done to get all these luxuries in this life? Is it just because I was affectionate towards Nammu Aunty? But Nammu Aunty deserves all the love in this world. But the children did not even bother to come.

I came to know the details later through the last son . I could not stop calling him. I wanted to tell him about the health of his mother. But the reply I got was not at all happy. How cruel one can get? That too about their own mother?

When he came on line, I told that she is suffering a lot. I was surprised with his reply. I was wondering whether my ears heard it right.

“Hey, she can’t be that bad. She used the oncologist to pull out money from us, our hard earned money. I hope she is happy now. I have shelled out my savings to send to her. Drat that oncologist! How dare he stoop to such a lowly position to get money from us? Are you saying she is not well? Well, I am not free to come. I am in a small job and I can’t afford to apply leaves”

I knew he was lying. He is saying that he is forced to give money. Had Nammu Aunty not taken care of them all while they were young? Why doesn’t he understand that it is their presence and affection which she is craving for?

“I hope she is getting enough money from all of us as repayment” the words flowed into my ears like hot lead. Is he trying to measure her love and affection which she showed them during their growing years? Is he so immature to judge her like that or all the three brothers are like that?

What about the daughter? I should check with the oncologist whether she is aware of her mother’s condition.

It was getting late when I reached Dammu’s home. I went and slept in my room.

Early in the morning I collected breakfast and coffee for Dammu and left for the hospital.

Once I reached the hospital, I handed over the breakfast to Dammu.

Nammu Aunty was peacefully sleeping.

Dammu said, “She was calling a name in her sleep. Is it her daughter’s name?”

When I heard the name, I said yes.

I came out to call the oncologist to let the daughter know about the serious condition of her mother.

When the oncologist came on the line, I asked about the daughter.

“Oh yes, I did try to contact her. Of course, not for money for her mother’s treatment. I had known that she is not like her brothers. But I got a shock when I called”  he said.

“What happened sir?” I asked with apprehension.

“The daughter has met with an accident in the USA and is very seriously injured ”

Now, it was my turn to get shocked.

What's her mistake ? - 15

Dammu continued telling her story as if the past has not affected her in any manner. But we could see that the face under the long flowing hair (now plaited) was very dull. The weight of the past was pulling her down; that was being seen very easily.

“I think the things boiled down on the day I touched eighteen. It was a very hectic day. I had decided to tell my father about my love story and introduce him to my boyfriend. The lawyer came and made the change in the will. I was the sole owner of a big house and God knows what all other things were the part of the property!”

Dammu smiled a sad smile.

“There was celebration in the house as the cook had prepared good number of sweets. My father was so eager to tell the world something. I could see in his action. He was trying to say something to me and it looked as if he was having two minds about it. Finally I asked him what is on his mind. Once he finished saying his part, I wanted to tell about my boyfriend. But what my father told me was not at all happy news for me!”

“What did he tell Dammu? You were telling that you are the only child and I am sure he would have accepted your boyfriend as his son in law!” exclaimed Nammu Aunty.

“Well may be, if the circumstances were different” Dammu said.

“What happened?” I asked out of curiosity. Now I was ‘dying’ to know what happened next.

“My father held my hand with a imploring look in his eyes. He had made a very good friend in the North during the freedom struggle and that friend’s son was the ideal match for me. Father said, ‘I know that you are a major today and you can marry anyone of your choice. But can you give a chance for me to show this boy please? We will leave for Delhi to see this boy tomorrow itself’”

“This put me in a fix” said Dammu. I could see that she was struggling to tell the next part. May be it is the saddest part of her life.

“Dad, I have to say something to you. Can I tell now?” I asked. He was surprised. He found that I was tongue tied which is never the case with me. He said so. The subject is like that I said. Funnily I could not say anything further. But at that moment, as if sent by God, my boyfriend came there.....” Dammu stopped.

She was very emotional now. This Dammu both of us had never seen. May be she should stop the story telling for now.

Nammu Aunty must have thought the same thing. She stood up and walked next to Dammu, touched her shoulder and said in a soft tone, “Let us take a break Dammu. We will continue after some time. Anyway I am feeling sleepy. Can I go to sleep for some time now please?” she asked.

Dammu was feeling guilty. I could see it on her face.

She stood up and caught hold of Nammu Aunty’s hand and said, “I am very selfish. I should have thought about your health. My story is not great. It can be stopped now itself”

Nammu Aunty immediately said “Oh no, I want to know how you addressed the situation about your husband, your kids?....” she left in the middle. I could sense that she did not know anything about Dammu and did not want to imagine what could have happened in Dammu’s life.

“Husband...? ha ha ha ha...! What is exactly a husband Nammu?” asked Dammu and suddenly fell back in her sofa and started crying loudly.

I was perplexed and Nammu Aunty’s situation was not very different.

Oh God! What is happening?