Little nuances

I watch American Serials nowadays. Some are murder investigations, some other are revenge stories and many more subjects. I watch one by one, the whole set. Then I will go the next episode of each of the serials.

But one serial stands out. It is a political thriller with espionage, action, mystery, suspense all rolled into one serial. I have already told about the serial earlier in this blog. It is called 24.

Yes, 24. I have already seen all the 8 seasons and a 2 hour movie Redemption two times (at least).  But I am seeing again from the first season.

This time each day one episode. That too when I am on the treadmill. The serial has the right mix of everything to make one’s adrenalin run fast.

The serials is very beautiful in its narration, though sometimes one feels that this is too much to happen on one day.

But considering the mindless, logic less movies what we watch, this has been done with a lot of conviction. Come to think of it, the whole crew is so sincere in its narration and depiction of the serial.

A special thing I noticed in the serial today is what I want to write about. It has lot of these ‘little’ scenes which make the serial elevated from the mundane ones.

A confrontation between estranged couple,  a meeting of separated couple, the relation between father and daughter, mother and daughter, son and mother and so on.

The serial has terrorists as the antagonists. They are ruthless in execution of their plans. But when it comes to their own kith and kin, they become vulnerable. This ‘weakness’ will be well exploited by the protagonist Jack Bauer.

The man is the hero. He would do anything for his country. He escapes many deaths unscathed. In fact, in one of the umpteen episodes of the serial , one character exclaims, “This man has more lives than a cat!”

And all the scenes in which the hero escapes death look real. He really doesn’t care when he is facing death. He is ready. But fate would have it otherwise.

He is made to torture many people, some of them close to his associates. He is made kill some of the characters forcefully. He does it without any feeling (or so is what we are made to think). But we are made to see his vulnerable face a few times.

He goes out, sits in his car and cries his heart out for a few minutes. And then he is back in business. The season 4 has an estranged couple. One was the head of the office and he is forced to resign since he jeopardizes a covert operation to save his wife who is captured by the villain.  He is jailed, but later pardoned by the President of US of A because of his sense of duty.

His wife leaves him because he is now unemployed and starts drinking. Now in the next season, he is back because he is the only one Jack Bauer can trust to save him. He comes back, assumes duty as the head of the office because the erstwhile head leaves because her schizophrenic daughter commits suicide.

But the wife comes as the permanent replacement and the sparks start flying. Slowly the wife comes to know through someone else that her husband still cares for her. The feeling slowly softens. All these are shown in between tense scenes.

Hats off for the whole team! I wish they had continued the serial instead of stopping it after the 8^th season.

Well, even good things come to an end!

What is my USP?

Unique Selling point? Which means we have to ‘sell’ ourselves? This sounds grotesque! Selling oneself…? Doesn’t it sound like the world’s oldest profession?;-)

But funnily, this term is used often in marketing world. To get the attention of the customer, we not only advertise our product, we need to advertise ourselves, sell our ideas!

Why did I get this subject today? This has a background!

Yesterday one of my colleagues messaged me out of the blue informing that I should market myself.  (market doesn’t sound that bad as sell!!!) I could not understand the message. So I had to ask.

I was informed that I know many languages (5 almost fully and 2 or 3 more little little!), and I should market myself.

I was very surprised and happy too. Yeah, I can do pun in 2 – 3 languages. A good word in one language turns out to be a very bad word in another language. There are people who try to talk Kannada. Here the pronunciation of a word or two, if done wrongly, gives a very wrong meaning!

Sorry, subject went for a detour!

So, marketing myself…. I should think of this seriously. But come to think of it, I am quite old – 55 years on 11^th August 2012 – should I try to do all these things?

Recently I was in my office canteen and was forced to eat alone. I spied a colleague of mine from the other department. I just say hello whenever I see him and I talk to him in his mother tongue.

He was sitting at a table and he invited me. I found one more person sitting in the table who smiled at me. I have seen him from the past 7 years but had no chance to talk to him. So, this colleague of mine with whom I talk in his mother tongue introduced me to the other guy, this is Yathiraj, the happiest person in our Company.

I was happy but surprised too. Is that the impression I have given to others that I am always happy?

Actually what do I do? I speak with anyone whom I have known with a smile and try to make the talk light and try to bring a smile on the other’s face. Has that behaviour of mine has earned me that name?

The other person said, I know him. I have seen him. But since the last year I know him better.

This intrigued me. What did he mean?

Then he explained. We had this internal office event. I was pushed to represent our team in an Indian Quiz competition which was conducted to keep us awake after a heavy lunch!

I was one of the finalists. There was a question which all the three of us could not answer, so all of us were declared winners!

So, I was called the most intelligent person in my office by one of my colleagues from the department which has only intelligent people. I corrected him saying, you are intelligent and I am smart… that’s all!

This year we had the 2^nd event. I took up to play an audio which turned out to be a live performance!

I did dance for about 15 minutes for various songs of the matinee idol Shammi Kapoor.

So, the whole office knows me. The songs, the pace of the songs do not go well along with my age.  They find my dance as amazing and energetic.

This way I gave happiness to all the people for some time.

In the office, many of my colleagues who are nearly 30 years younger get attracted to me and come and talk to me. Do they find their father in me? Is this the way they imagine their father? Is it that they can’t talk to their father this freely and they find me an alternative so that there is a person of their father’s age who talks friendly?

Is this my USP?

People don't care

I keep seeing funny things on the road. By law they are illegal. But who cares? People just do whatever they want on the road. After all, the Government itself is by the people, for the people and of the people, right?

I see people talking happily over the mobile phone in their car while taking a turn on the road. The judgment gets shrouded when we talk over phone and the brain would be busy listening to the conversation on the other side and fumbling to find the replies to the questions from the other side. The driver may end up in hurting the people driving (and riding) on the opposite side of the road.

 But people don’t care.

I have seen people keeping their one year old (or may be little less or more) kid on their lap or between their thighs while driving the car. The kid could be a very bad distraction. Imagine if the kid decides to pull out the key (inadvertently of course!) and throw it out of the window. Or even if the key is pulled and thrown out of the key hole, the driver gets distracted and the people in the car would be lucky if there are no other vehicles at that time on the road.

But people don’t care.

I was going the other day on the road near my home. The road is a main road. A lot of vehicles pass through the road. I saw a big Honda City car being backed on the wrong side of the road. I stood aside because I sensed (sixth sense?) something is wrong. As I was thinking, a tiny head bobbed out of the window of the car and said “Grandpa, please carry on”. The boy was just about 10 year old and he was reversing the car on the wrong side of a main road and his proud parents were watching happily. I felt alarmed.

But people don’t care.

I see very young boys riding a scooter or a bike or a car. They take turns at the cross roads like nobody’s business. Their parents must be very proud that their kids have learnt driving at a very young age. I feel the sense of balancing would be coming at a very young age. But the sense of judgment of how the opposite driver drives doesn’t come at that young age.

But people don’t care.

I see people standing and talking at the road corner which is vital for vehicles to turn. They simply ignore horns of the vehicles. They feel as if it is their ‘father’s property’! I curse them many times; I stop my vehicle and request them to move. They look at me contemptuously and continue their banter as if it is not their fault. I feel bad about this.

But people don’t care.

I have seen people standing at the left most edge of the road at the traffic signal. When the light turns green they take a sudden right turn in front of the whole straight moving traffic, holding them at bay and take a right turn. I wonder how long people can tolerate such tortures.  Does that mean I am the only one who is worried and the others don’t care? I still feel so. Why shouldn’t the people decide where to go and take the position on the road where they have to go?

But people don’t care.

I see people from cross roads simply zooming past the main road traffic whatever size it may be, in the available small space. If they are lucky enough they pass. Otherwise they hold the whole traffic at a ransom. I care about reaching the office on time, but not at the cost of causing a traffic jam.

But people don’t care.

I can go on complaining, whining, crying about the traffic. Will people follow the rules just because I have written about my woes?

No, people don’t care!

Thought for the day twenty three

Do not bite more than you can chew

This is a maxim which has to be remembered forever. We generally try to take more responsibilities than we can actually capable of carrying out. The additional ‘yes’ is expressed only to satisfy our ‘ego’ or impress someone else. We have to understand that we have limitations. The free time which we get when we don’t have any responsibility to shoulder, could be used for praying, introspection and even meditation, new learning. These will reduce the thoughts which make our minds restless. The peace of mind would be greater when the thoughts are few.

Quite an impressive maxim this is. When we eat our food, if we bite more than what our mouth can hold to chew, we actually choke. The choking could result in horrible cough or even death.

When this is the case, we have to be careful even when the maxim doesn’t refer to just the physical.

We choke when we have more jobs to fit in a specific time frame. It is always better to under promise and over deliver rather than over promise and under deliver or do not deliver at all.

We have come across people who put their fingers in all the pies available and end up finally only licking their fingers or open wounds.

The wounds would appear since their ego does not allow them to swallow the pride and say ‘I am sorry, I can’t do this’. They find that these words are uttered by a useless person.

Whom are we trying to cheat? Ourselves actually. If we can do what is possible to do in the stipulated time, we would be appreciated. On the other hand, if we fail to deliver, even though capable, just because we could not give the time what the job required, we are branded as useless.

To avoid such drastic remarks, we have to weigh the situation, the job and the time required and our capability to deliver.

If we are sure that we can deliver what is required and without hampering anything else, than we can safely assume that we have bitten what we could chew.

 I have seen many managers in various companies. They want to hog the limelight. So they take up all the jobs what are hanging around. Some of them could as well be carried out by the people who are under them; but they don’t allow because, the name we get by taking up these jobs. If we don’t complete the job, we definitely get a bad name for non-completion. But names we get are that we are lazy, complacent, and useless.

On the other hand, if we do have some free time, we could use it for our prayers. We could do meditation which puts our mind at peace. If we carry out introspection in the free time, we could understand what mistakes have committed and how to correct them next time.

The self-study puts us in a good place in the office. We could improve our knowledge, or the communication skills by reading and speaking.

If we feel burdened we should think about what we told our colleagues. Probably we have told ‘don’t worry, I will do it’

Taking up of more things that what we can actually do will end up in we not having time even to change the light bulb in our bathroom!

We have to realize that we have bitten more than what we can chew and spit out the additional stuff in our mouth.

We need to control our stress and not the other way round. We can’t become slaves to our stress.

Thought for the day twenty two

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice; but for those who love, time is eternity.

                                                                           - Henry van Dyke

TIME.. just four letters. But what a big gap it can bring... they say ask the value of a week to a weekly magazine editor... value of a second who has just escaped an accident ... etc.,

A watched pot never boils is a very famous saying. When we stand in front of a milk pot waiting for it to boil, it never happens fast. You feel it is taking its own sweet time! When you try to go away for just a few moments and come back, you will see the milk spilled over the stove!

A person who has to get up early keeps alarm to wake up the stipulated time. The alarm rings at the exact moment. The person feels he could do with just with a few more moments. But when he wakes up, to his horror, it is almost 2 hours past his specific timing.

If one feels sad about something, he keeps on thinking about it the whole day. Time won’t pass for that person even if one keeps seeing at the watch to get over with it.

If a person is partying and has to catch a train during the night, suddenly the time would be nearing to catch the train. That person would wonder where the time slipped through.

But a person in love will always feels time is eternal. The person would be handing the hand of his/her love and the time just stands still.

One time and so many expressions. For some, it is fast, for some others it is very slow. How does this happen?

It is the matter of perception.

Because time is the same for everyone. It has 24 hours or 1440 minutes or 86400 seconds for everyone.

When we like something, when we like someone, when we have to spend time doing that, the time passes so quickly that we will feel that the time has gone fast.

When we don’t like something, when we don’t like someone, when we have to spend time with that, then the time becomes slow. We feel we are spending a life time doing that.

With our love, the time stands still. There is a song... if I and you are together; we don’t have the time constraint. Time actually is forgotten.

We say when a good person undergoes a bad phase that his time is not good. On the other hand if a bad person cheats good people, they say ‘time will teach a lesson’ to the cheat.

So, the time takes such an important role in our lives.

There are funny incidents.... when we have to leave the office at 6.30, from 5.30 the time starts crawling. When we are forced to stay back for some more time to finish a job. If we have to leave at 8.15, the time flies and we are left wondering whether the time is enough to finish the job.

We have to respect time. We can’t get back the time which has passed. The time which is passed without a good deed done is considered a criminal waste of time.

But we have to spend some time with ourselves indulging in self-development or self-introspection at least for half hour every week, if not every day.

When we are lovers the time is eternal, but when we get married, suddenly we become weary of our partners and the time spent with them seems wasted. No, this is not a healthy attitude and need to be corrected fast.

Doing what we say is integrity and saying what we do is honesty.

Honest people’s names are used by others to swear. Since the world has more dishonest people now, the honest people are looked like as if they are some special people.

Some people revere them. Some other people mock at them.

But if someone is really honest, he/she should not bother by the adverse comments.

Thought for the day twenty one

The most common use of the word peace is as the opposite of war. This is understandable but unfortunate.  Peace is not just the opposite of violence or turmoil but has a whole register of meanings all its own.

The peace of a quiet landscape nurtures us.  A calm moment to ourselves renews our energies. Interior peace energizes us; exterior peace gives us direction.
A gentle sun, a calm ocean, the loving smile of a friend--all of these give us peace. We are sustained in a sweet aerie of calm.
The opposite of peace is war, but so are agitation, anxiety, and violence.

Edward J. Lavin, S.J.

War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy’s very famous novel talks about the repercussions of War and what we lose by losing peace.

But as Edward says, peace is not the opposite of violence. For violence it is non-violence. We can check the methods used by Mahatma Gandhi regarding this!

Even the turmoil in our minds and hearts is churning of feelings. It has nothing to do with peace.

Peace has its own meanings. Sitting in a corner, doing nothing is also peace. Staying in a big place with lot of commotion, and still being cool is also being peaceful.

Imagine going into forest and sitting below a tree and listening to the sounds made by birds and insects. The sound is so peaceful and heartfelt.

The ocean makes noise. But if we observe correctly there is a rhythm in its noise. The waves banging against the beach, the ebbs and tides are fascinating to watch. We can watch them continuously without getting bored. Slowly the mind becomes peaceful by watching the waves. If one goes in the night and sits to watch, the white waves are a treat to watch.

Many people find solace when they speak to their close friends. The friend need not give any solution for the problem. All he has to do is to listen to this person and give a pat on the shoulder or a hug. The heart’s heaviness just vanishes like a feather.

A moment with ourselves also gives us a lot of peace. We can do introspection of the situation which led the loss of peace. If thought in an unbiased manner probably the inner turmoil will get vanished and we find peace in ourselves. We need to sit alone at least for sometimes to get into that mood.

As mentioned earlier somewhere else, music is one lovelier medium to keep peace with ourselves.

When we don’t find something what we want and on time, we get agitated. The agitation leads to anxiety, anger and tension. When the thing what we want appears ultimately, the delay seem to have done the damage. We will even be violent.

These things lead us nowhere but giving us a bad name in our circles. Because we would have shown our frustration outward and that would have been witnessed by our colleagues who are going to be with us for a long time to time. This should be borne in mind when we shout or make a lot of fuss. People won’t like it. Especially when they are disturbed by our outbursts!

On the other hand, if they are at the sending end, they don’t feel bad at all. They think that it is their birth right.

The best example would be the parking of a vehicle slightly into the road. When someone else parks the vehicle, we curse and try to go in the available space; but still we would like to give a piece of our mind to the wrong parker.

Suppose we are in a hurry and park the vehicle wrongly and walk into the store nearby, we want the others to understand that we did it because we are in a hurry, there is an emergency.... is that right?

A rule is a rule... good for us and bad for others?

Really needs a serious thinking...

Whatever we do, we do it right... and regain our peace and live without any agitation.

An effort is needed... can we try?

Trivial reason, serious fight

What could be reason for a fight? Actually we don’t need a reason to fight. Then why do we fight? May be to let our frustration out of our body, mind?

Yes, it is for sure. I have seen many people fight for the most trivial reason. This house where we were living during 1989-96. There was a slum dwellers’ colony just opposite our home. They were in small huts. Due to some mishap, there was a fire and their huts burnt down to the ground.

Under some Government scheme, they got a better place to live. But the water availability was to the minimum.  The whole line of houses used to come to fill their pots with water from a tap which was just in front of our home.

There was queue anyway from the night itself. They used to keep their pots in a queue and waited for the water to be let out from the tap.

After some time they found that their pots got stolen in the middle of the night. Hence the pots were replaced by stones. Each stone used to have a mark!

Now the serious matter. The news that the water has been let out spread like wildfire and all the ladies rushed to the tap, to the queue.

Suppose someone overstepped the queue, the volley of abuses used to start by people from behind.

The abuses not only included choicest scolding, it also included the behaviour of the lady on previous occasions; funnily it even included how bad her husband is, how rude her children are, etc.,

The lady who was receiving the abuses was not going to keep quiet listening to all these verbal attacks.

She used to open her mouth. Her abuses were hurled at the ladies who attacked her verbally and others whom this lady did not like!

So, everyone used to know the innermost secrets of the other ladies, their husbands and etc.,

Many times the oral attack used to turn to physical. It was pathetic to see two of them holding the hair of each other and hitting with empty pots or hands. Even legs used to participate in the fights.

I was wondering whether this is a way of expressing our woes. Really pathetic!

Well, we were talking about the ladies who did not know any subtlety.

I have seen ladies attacking each other in offices. Of course, the talk would be so sweet and barbed that not only the lady at the receiving end will understand; even the onlookers would follow what is happening. After all, free entertainment is fun as long as we are not one of the participants. The words dripping with sarcasm would make the recipient cringe. Actually even the sender of these sarcastic words should also feel ashamed once the anger subsides, if she is having a guilty conscience.

It is very easy to tell, but very difficult to put into action… the vicious verbal rejoinder when someone corners us in front of our own kith and kin. If we keep quiet, we will be branded as useless. If we talk back, we are equally bad.

Well, people are like that.

They love to judge us. They won’t care to see that we may be reacting this way during this particular situation; otherwise, this is actually not our character.

But, tell me, are these people who judge us come to our rescue when we are in serious problems? If so, then they are real friends.

Otherwise, they are just acquaintances and we can safely leave them from our innermost circle.

Oh yes, when we meet them, we can very politely enquire them about their health. After all we are all civilized people.

Right?