What's her mistake ? - 45

We sat in front of Nammu Aunty. After the oncologist left in a hurry, his assistant shifted Nammu Aunty to a ward. On the insistence of Dammu we got a special room for Nammu Aunty.

Nammu Aunty had opened her eyes and trying to speak. But she could not speak. She started making signs for everything. We had difficulty in even understanding her signals because she had become very feeble. She was not able to even lift her hands.

Dammu was putting a brave face. She was full of tears when she was outside Nammu Aunty’s room. The moment she came to see Nammu Aunty she tried to be cheerful.

“Hey, when will you speak? I am eager to hear your voice. The oncologist says you will get back your voice and this is only a temporary setback” said Dammu.

Nammu Aunty just smiled.

Dammu had brought a book with her. I saw the title. The Vedanta Treatise. “I want to read you some passages out of this” she said and turned a few pages and started reading.

“Human beings undergo what is called Janmas or births. Their atma or soul leaves the old body like a used cloth and get into a new body which can be compared to a new cloth. When we take new birth, we carry what is called the Vaasana or the trait. This decides our behavior in our next birth. When we take birth, our Karma follows us. There are three types of Karmas. Praarabdha, Aagami and Sanchita” Dammu stopped as Nammu Aunty was trying to say something with her hands.

“What?” she asked and since she could not understand what she was trying to say she continued reading. “The praarabdha karma is like sprouted seeds. This is something we have to eat. No choice for us. If we start to do good deeds and stop harming others, the Aagami Karma which is about to sprout will get burnt into ashes. If we continue to do good deeds and keep God in our mind always the Sanchita karma which is storage of our previous karmas gets totally destroyed. Then we can be sure of a berth at the heavenly abode of the Lord without any more re births. We have...” she stopped when she felt Nammu Aunty’s feeble hand touching her hand.

“What?” Dammu asked.

“Dammu, I think she wants you to be jovial as usual. She doesn’t want heavy stuff from you!” I said and I could see a faint smile on Nammu Aunty’s face.

Dammu brought her laptop.”I don’t know the title because it was given to me from someone” she said looking at the nameless DVD.

On Nammu Aunty’s insistence Dammu played the movie. To her dismay it turned out to be the Hindi Movie ‘Anand’ where the hero knows that he has blood cancer, but he will be looking at life positively. The movie made us smile, but I could see both Nammu Aunty and Dammu had tears rolling down their cheeks. The irony of the movie was that the name was Anand, but there was an undercurrent of sadness. Almost similar to the two cancer patients in the room.

We were silent for most of the balance of the time that day.

The silence was shattered when Dammu got a call. Dammu spoke with her in a grim tone and looked at me and said, “Please be with Nammu. I have to go. The call was from my lawyer. He says I have to go and sign some papers.”

She told Nammu Aunty. She just nodded.

After Dammu left I was sitting next to Nammu Aunty and reading a book. Nammu Aunty looked peaceful.

Then I got a call from the lawyer’s office. The voice said that he is the assistant of the lawyer and I was required to go there urgently.

When I told I have to look after Nammu Aunty, the voice said, “You tell the oncologist’s assistant to take care of Nammu till we come back” .

I saw Nammu Aunty peacefully sleeping. I went to the assistant and told him to take care of Nammu Aunty.

He smiled and nodded.

I do not know why, I suddenly had a doubt on him. But I was not able to pinpoint the feeling.

I traveled a long distance to get to the lawyer’s office. When I reached Dammu was just leaving. She was surprised to see me. When we enquired about the call, it turned out to be hoax. Suspecting a foul play we called the Oncological Center. We did not get a proper reply. So we rushed back to the Center and to Nammu Aunty’s room.

To our horror, Nammu Aunty’s bed was empty. All her things were missing.

What's her mistake ? - 44

“She is totally exhausted” declared the oncologist when we rushed her to the Oncological Center. We had a scary time on the road in the car when Nammu Aunty suddenly lost consciousness.

Dammu screamed and shook Nammu Aunty quite strongly. We thought Nammu Aunty had left us forever. But may be Dammu’s screams made Nammu Aunty to come out of her deep sleep state. She moved her fingers. Immediately Dammu felt her pulse and hastened the driver to rush to the Oncological Center.

Nammu Aunty was shifted to the Intensive Care Unit. She was breathing normally now.

“Sir, you said she can stay there and be happy for the rest of her life, we found that she is down and out within a week?” Dammu was very indignantly.

“Damayanti Madam! Please understand my point. She is at the critical stage of cancer. She may collapse anyday. So, I suggested that let her be happy at least for a few days when she is alive” the oncologist’s tone was very grave.

Both of us sat in front of the ICU on the chairs. Nammu Aunty did not open her eyes for 4 days. She was responding to the medicine was the only good news we heard.

After three more days, Dammu asked me “Please go to the village Jaaji and tell them that Nammu is not well. And she would not be able to come to take classes for at least two months. I will request her, cajole her, force her.... somehow I will make her stay back. I can’t lose her young man! I don’t want to lose her!” she closed her face with her hands. I could see that she was totally emotional.

I went to the village and broke the news. They were feeling sorry for Nammu Aunty. All the kids made me wait. After an hour I was given a get well soon card and all the kids had signed in the card.

I came back to the hospital. Dammu was not outside ICU. I came to know that she was inside with Nammu Aunty who was awake.

Dammu came out. Her face was dull. I wondered why and went inside. Nammu Aunty was awake. She feebly smiled at me. I handed over the greeting. She peered at it. Then the tears started coming out from the edge of her eyes.

She opened her mouth to say something. But words did not come out. It was as if she could not speak. I was dumbstruck. I could now understand why Dammu had a dull face when she came out of ICU.

I bade goodbye to Nammu Aunty and joined Dammu in meeting with the oncologist.

“Yes, she won’t be able to talk temporarily” he declared and added “hopefully”

“Sir, is she that bad?” asked Dammu with a choking voice.

“Madam, all won’t be lucky even after chemotherapy. You are one of the luckier ones who are living a normal life even after the cancer attacked you quite badly. Probably the cancerous growth has stopped in your cells. But Nammu may not be that lucky” said the oncologist as a matter of fact.

Nammu Aunty was not able to talk. She was showing signals for everything. She was very eager to know whether the kids have been informed about her absence.

The oncologist came in a hurry and told that he had to go out of station for a week. He asked Dammu to be with Nammu Aunty. Of course, not inside the ICU. But outside.

He called me separately and told, “Can you contact her sons? I need to tell them that she is nearing her end”

I was stunned and asked him, “You said she will recover?”

“I think all the efforts of human beings have been completed. Only HE can save her now” said the oncologist.

I had a knotty feeling in my stomach. I could not digest the news.

What's her mistake? - 43

“There are 40 to 50 parts of the body which are susceptible to get cancer. I am not trying to scare you. I am trying to help you find out how to avoid the disease” said Nammu Aunty after the murmur died down.

Then she explained how to avoid the disease. Hygiene is one main thing to be carried out. We have to ensure that we wash all the vegetables and fruits which we take to eat. We have to keep the surrounding and the toilet clean. By clean environment, we would be avoiding the invasion of houseflies and mosquitos who are carriers of many diseases. Cancer is one big disease. But by being clean and alert, we could avoid even a small disease. We have to get our children to the doctor when they fall sick. Not rush to a medical store ask for some adhoc medicine.

“I have been told by a doctor that the children get fever a few hundred times. But each fever is different. They develop antibodies each time they get fever. We need to give them the antibiotics. We should ensure that the course is completed. We should not stop the medicine in between just because the kid’s fever gets subsided.”

I was surprised that Nammu Aunty knows so much about all these. May be she was always concerned about the society and its methods. When she found a platform she went on giving the people small tips.

When we were back in the house I asked her, “Nammu Aunty! You are so surprising! I have never seen you like this, when Uncle was with you or when you were alone your relative’s house!

Nammu Aunty smiled and said, “Son, I was always interested to help the society even in the smallest possible way like the squirrel which helped Lord Sri Rama during the building of bridge to Lanka. I am happy that there is awareness. Being forewarned is to be forearmed. I do hope the people take seriously whatever is important” she said fervently.

The week passed. Kids came home presenting us with different vegetables and fruits. Every day Nammu Aunty went on teaching the kids about many things. Sometimes it was just fun and games. But her idea was that if something is required to be long-lasting, then it has to be when the kids are adolescent. They are on the verge of embracing either good or bad. If we turn them towards the good, they remain good.

She taught them about very simple things which were not even thought of generally. When she finished telling the kids, there would be a sound of ‘Ohho’. Meaning, we knew about this, but we did not know this!

Suddenly it was Friday evening. Even though Nammu Aunty looked healthy, she was becoming more and more fragile.

Is she surviving only on willpower? This question was bothering me when we were standing in the bus stand to catch the bus to the city.

Suddenly Dammu’s car appeared round the corner and stopped in front of us.

When we opened the door, we even saw Dammu sitting at the back seat and smiling at us.

“Ha, you two are very bad! You have company of each other. But I am really feeling lonely!” she spoke in mock anger.

“Sorry Dammu! I was busy” said Nammu Aunty in a guilty voice.

“I know. I was getting information about you from this young man! Right young man?” Dammu directed the question to me.

I just nodded. Yes, I was keeping Dammu informed about Nammu Aunty’s health. Dammu had clearly told. Do not disturb her. Help her in all ways. But let her not have tension. She wanted to be in the village in the house of her husband. Let her be! Your job is to look after her well – were the instructions of Dammu to me! I did it to the core.

“Sorry Dammu, I should have spoken to you” Nammu said. I looked at them from the front seat. Nammu Aunty was holding the hand of Dammu. “Good thing you agreed to send me. The kids called me Nammamma! Wow, it was a great feeling to have. Now I am a mother of about 20 apart from my own. Oh, this is great. I shall go on teaching them many more things till .....” the sentence was never finished.

As I looked with horror, Nammu Aunty’s head suddenly rolled on the lap of Dammu.

“Nammu!” Dammu screamed. The driver swerved the car to the left and stopped.

“Nammu, wake up!” shouted Dammu and started shaking her. Nammu was as still as a stone idol.

What's her mistake? - 42

The class was conducted below the peepul tree which was just at the entrance to Jaaji. The green leaves with their pointed edge were swaying due to the gentle wind blowing.

There were 4 new students, two boys and two girls.

They were very eager to listen to Nammamma as they fondly called her.

 “Dear children, we were speaking about hygiene yesterday and two of you mentioned the two most dangerous diseases. One of them is Aids. The other is cancer”

“Children! Do you know what cancer is?” Nammu Aunty asked.

“We know it is a disease Nammamma!” said the bold girl.

“It is a disease. But dear children, there is a saying that prevention is better than cure. If we prevent something bad from happening, we are saved. If we, unfortunately, still contact the disease we have to take steps to cure it”

Now there were quite a good number of men and women who were the parents of the children who had come to attend the classes and also parents of very small kids.

“We have to take steps to keep ourselves clean in our habits. We should not indulge in vices like smoking and drinking even for the first time. I have seen people saying we do it only for curiosity. Why curiosity? If you want to have curiosity, have it in finding out something new. How things work? How a plant grows? How a flower blooms? How does it rain? Why we should have more trees in our surrounding? Questions like these will help in expanding our knowledge”

Nammu Aunty went on talking about so many things. Kids were very happy to listen to the talk. They even asked very apt questions and got replies. When the questions were not answerable, Nammu Aunty asked me to note down the questions so that she could get prepared the next day with the replies.

“I am not an expert in anything. But I have studied some important points. I would like to share with you. Is it ok?” She asked.

The kids said ‘yes’ in chorus.

“What Is Cancer?” started Nammu Aunty and continued, “Cancer is a group of diseases characterized by uncontrolled growth and spread of abnormal cells. If the spread is not controlled, it can result in death. Cancer is caused by both external factors (tobacco, infectious organisms, chemicals, and radiation) and internal factors (inherited mutations, hormones, immune conditions, and mutations that occur from metabolism). These causal factors may act together or in sequence to initiate or promote carcinogenesis. Ten or more years often pass between exposure to external factors and detectable cancer”

There was silence in the crowd. I could see that the kids did not completely understand what has been told. But there were a few elders who were showing expression of shock and fear.

“Don’t worry. There are some curing methods too. Cancer is treated with surgery, radiation, chemotherapy, hormone therapy, biological therapy, and targeted therapy. You may not be able to absorb all these words. But you should remember that we could avoid what can be avoided. Right?” Nammu Aunty smiled.

“For example, if a father keeps the child on his shoulder and goes to a store and smokes a bidi or cigarette, the kid gets affected from a very small age. Is it not avoidable?” she asked.

“Yes!” said one or two men from the crowd. They were shamefaced. May be they were carrying their child on their shoulder while smoking.

“Can cancer be prevented?” She asked and replied herself. “All cancers caused by cigarette smoking and heavy use of alcohol could be prevented completely.”

“Smoking causes lung cancer. The drinking causes liver cancer. When we have so much of responsibility, is it not our duty to shoulder them without getting sick? The kids are dependent on us. If we fall sick, we cannot take care of the family. We even need extra money for cure. Avoiding is the best method. I am telling all this because like I said earlier even immune conditions etc. could bring cancer to a person. Even though that person does not indulge in bad vices. So, should we not take care to prevent this unwanted, dangerous disease?” Nammu Aunty asked earnestly.

“Yes Nammu Amma” shouted a young man from the back

Nammu Aunty gave some horrifying figures. “55000 children are diagnosed with cancer every year in India. Studies show a direct link between increased urbanization and childhood cancer worldwide. Only 5 percent childhood cancer is hereditary. 95% of the causes are external factors viruses, pollution, radiation etc. In 2009 India had only 55 paediatric oncologists. 15 are in Mumbai. Balance Oncologists in cities only. Pediatric oncology not recognized as a specialty in over 250 medical colleges across the country which is alarming. Commonest childhood cancer is leukaemia, lymphomas, brain tumors, bone tumors and soft tissue rank next. Hence please take care of your children. They are the future of this country and all I ask you is that please prevent your kids from diseases as much as possible”

A  person in the crowd asked, “Have you seen anyone who does not have bad habits but still suffering with cancer?”

“You are looking at one!” Nammu Aunty said pointing to herself. There was a gasp among the audience.

What's her mistake ? - 41

Nammu Aunty did not become dull just because the girl uttered the word cancer. Probably it was the exhaustion which led to the tiredness. I immediately rushed to her and held her and led her to chair and made her sit down.

The lessons of the day took place in a small room in the house of the chief, the smart lady. I bade goodbye to the children myself and led Nammu Aunty to the house.

She slept for some time and then got up to cook. It was a wonder that she could bring so much taste to an ordinary rasam! I think cooking done with shraddha makes it very tasty. The additional taste would be added when the person serves with love and affection.

She did not talk much. She carried one of the many books she brought from Dammu’s house to her bed and started reading.

I shut the house and slept.

I immediately drifted into sleep. Many people started appearing in my dream. I saw Nammu Aunty’s husband, her sons and the daughter. I saw the oncologist and Dammu. There were sequences which were totally unconnected. I woke up with a start.

“Son, did you not get sleep?” Nammu Aunty called from the room.  She must have heard me suddenly sit up and cough. ”Have a glass of water, chant the Lord’s name and go back to sleep”

I mumbled an affirmation and tried to sleep.

But now the sleep eluded me. I started wondering about the sons of Nammu Aunty. I even thought about the daughter. Is she okay now? Has she recovered from her injuries she had during the accident? May be the oncologist has the answers.

Are the sons still paying the money for Nammu Aunty? I should call the third son and check.

The day started quite early. By the time I got up, Nammu Aunty had already started preparing coffee in the kitchen.

She greeted me with a ‘good morning’ and handed over a tumbler having coffee. Like I said earlier, I must have been very lucky to drink such a heavenly coffee! I felt so happy just by having a cup of coffee prepared by Nammu Aunty.

There was a knock at the door with a young voice calling “Nammamma! Nammamma!”

Nammu Aunty opened the main door and found one of the students of yesterday’s class. In her hand was an ash gourd. “My mother wanted me to give this to you”

Nammu Aunty took it and smiled at the girl. Then she asked, “See you in the evening?”

“Yes, nammamama” the girl replied and sped to her home.

I spent some time to see whether I can do some gardening. I found the backyard was having a compound made of bougainvillea plants. So, it was safe to plant some vegetable plants.

I started cleaning and digging the place. Nammu Aunty continued reading.  She sat on a small flat stone behind the house below a Honge tree. There is a saying that the shadow of Honge is like mother’s lap. So, a ‘mother’ was sitting below the shadow of another mother’s lap!

We had Ash gourd sambhar and rice. Dammu had sent various types of pickles. So, the food was good.

Nammu Aunty looked peaceful. She even had little more food than the usual. Was it because she was feeling content here?

She did not complain of any pain or irritation. May be the medicines are showing the results. All for good! I thought feeling happy.

I found that Nammu Aunty slept for some time in the afternoon. Her lesson was to be at 5 pm.

I took the chance to call the oncologist to know about Nammu Aunty’s sons and daughter.

The oncologist said that since two months the money has not come from her sons. The daughter seemed to have a very slow recovery. But still a long way to go.

“I did not insist to her sons to send money because Damayanti has promised to look after Nammu. But I feel the sons are hatching a plot. They are too silent for comfort. Can you check please?” he said.

What's her mistake ? - 40

“My name is Nammu. You can call me Nammu. I know that you are tired after coming back from school. Am I making you feel bad that I am taking away your play time?” asked Nammu Aunty.

“No!” said the 15 kids in unison. Nammu Aunty smiled.

There were all about 12 to 14 year old kids. It was the first day. So there was expectation on each kid’s face. Here is someone from the city who has come to teach us something. Let us see what it is – was the expression I could easily recognize.

“Let us have education. Especially general knowledge and some fun with mathematics!” declared Nammu Aunty.

The children clapped.

A boy stood up and said “Nammu... Amma!” since he could not just say Nammu. All the kids said  in chorus“Ho! Nammu Amma... Nammu Amma... Nammamma”

“It is easier to call Nammamma than Nammu.. Amma” said a girl of 13. She looked the boldest among the lot.

Nammu Aunty smiled broadly. “Kids! You know what it means by Nammamma? My Mother! Thank you kids!” she said in a choking voice and then recovered herself to say, “Let us begin with some general knowledge”

All the kids became silent.

“Can you tell me what are the names of the planets?” she asked and pointed her forefinger to a boy and told, “You tell my dear boy!”

“Eight. Earlier we thought it was nine. Now the scientists have proof to say that Pluto is not a planet”

“Very good. You have kept yourself abreast with the latest information”

Like this many questions and answers were exchanged. Nammu Aunty was quick. She had not forgotten her earlier knowledge. She had also updated her knowledge to the latest.

She was a natural teacher!

She then touched upon the subject of hygiene. “It is very important to be hygiene. Most of the diseases attack us because we are not clean. Which are called the Pancha bhutas?”

A hand went up.

“Ok, tell me dear!”

“Sky, water, air, earth and fire”

“Very right! Out of these five, the fire cannot bring us any disease except when it burns us. Correct?” she said.

There were many affirmative replies.

“That leaves us four. Sky is too far. This boils down to three. Earth, water and air. Most of our diseases come from these three. We have to be careful how we conduct ourselves with these three Bhootas”

Kids were listening with rapt attention.

“We have heard of bacteria and virus being carried by water and air. The water, if has impure particles, is not good for drinking. What should we do if we do not have clean water?”

The kids just watched Nammu Aunty eagerly awaiting her reply.

“The water if boiled well does not have harmful bacteria. Boiling the water before drinking helps us to keep healthy” Nammu Aunty said.

“The air has some bacteria. We talk about air pollution also. When there are too many vehicles throwing out smoke and if the smoke enters our nose and mouth we cough. Do you know why?”

The kids were waiting for Nammu Aunty’s reply.

“The Oxygen quantity to our lungs gets reduced due to the smoke. So, we cough. The smoke and the dust which goes inside our lungs cause problems to our lungs”

“People were smoking inside their office during the 60’s. Then slowly the smoking was restricted to outside the office. Now public places are not for smoking. Even if we inhale smoke exhaled by a smoker causes problems to our lungs”

“The Government earlier printed a warning on cigarette pack smoking is injurious to health. Then they changed it to smoking is hazardous to health. Now it says smoking kills. Funnily people who read the warning do not smoke. But the people who smoke do not care to read the warning. The worst part is that one of the government’s highest revenue earners is cigarettes. I am sure you are all good boys and girls and never ever smoke. Promise me!” she said in a serious tone.

There was a murmur of acceptance from the kids.

“I think for the first day it is enough. Do you know which the most dangerous diseases in the world are?” she asked.

One boy said, “AIDS!”

The intelligent girl said, “Cancer!”

Nammu Aunty’s face became ashen. 

What's her mistake ? - 39

The oncologist was happy to see both Nammu Aunty and Dammu together. But his face did not retain the happy lines after he checked Nammu Aunty.

We waited till Nammu Aunty was sent for a few tests. She was to undergo Chemotherapy again since the cancerous growth on her tongue was back.

The oncologist said, “Damayanti Madam! The results of the tests are not encouraging. In fact, I am getting the chemotherapy done on your insistence and also because we should not leave any stone unturned if any treatment makes the patient better”

Dammu said, “Please do that sir.  I need to discuss one more thing with you. Nammu is keen to stay in a village called Jaaji near to the city. Is it okay? Will she have a problem?”

The oncologist laughed. “Do you expect her to have some more problems apart from what she is already having? Can I suggest one thing?” he asked her and then continued, “Please allow her to do whatever she feels happy to do. This way she would be happy to spend the rest of her life....” he stopped since Nammu Aunty came into the room.

Did she hear what was told by the oncologist? I could not fathom by the look on her face. She seemed very normal to me.

After getting all the required medicine, I left with Nammu Aunty to Jaaji. Dammu was all in tears. I was surprised to see her emotion.

“Dammu! I feel I need to something before.....” she left the sentence in the middle. ‘Before I die’ was what she meant. This was known to both Dammy and me. We had taken leave from the oncologist and we were about to leave for Jaaji.  

“Ok, I think you need to be happy always Sakhi! That is what I wish for” said Dammu.

“Sakhi...! that’s a nice name for a close friend. Thank you Dammu! I am an ordinary woman from an ordinary family. But you have undergone such a torture in life that I won’t even wish it for my enemies also. So, you need to be happy Sakhi!” replied Nammu Aunty.

I smiled at the way the two friends treated each other.

After a lot of advices on how to take the medicine etc. we left for Jaaji after dropping Dammu at her home.

Nammu Aunty was silent. I thought it may be because of the tiredness due to the tests she underwent today at the Oncology Center. But later I found that that was not the reason for her silence.

We reached Jaaji by 4 pm. The sun was still hot and there was bright light spread across.

The house of Nammu Aunty was repaired to some extent. Now it was good to live. There was a small room and a hall. The floor was neatly kept by smearing it with cow dung. There was a small coir cot in the room. A mat in the corner cleanly rolled. The small kitchen had utensils and a gas stove. The cupboard carved out of the kitchen wall contained a few boxes which showed that there are some food items like rice, dhal, mustard, red chillies etc.,

Nammu Aunty viewed everything and then said, “Let’s get to the main job we have come for”.

I was wondering what it was. I came to know that after a few minutes. We went and met the smart woman who was also a sort of chief of the village.

She wanted to know at what time the children of the village returned from school. When she learnt that they would be back at 5 pm on the weekdays, she was beaming.

“I always wanted to teach children. I was busy with teaching my children till they went to higher classes. Then I was feeling I was missing something in my life. This is it! I want to teach children as long as possible!” exclaimed Nammu Aunty.

Then I realized how to keep her alive! This is the ‘story’! Dammu’s story had a beginning and an end. But teaching children is an eternal thing.

Ooh! I can keep Nammu Aunty alive! I thought, though the dark cloud of cancer loomed large over the head of Nammu Aunty.

What's her mistake ? - 38

“Two guards came from nowhere and stood between me and the child. I tried to push them. The guards had small swords in their hands. One of them pierced just below my breast. I had a shooting pain. I fell down and stayed there. My husband’s first wife was screaming, ‘Kill that bitch. How dare she come near my child! She should be thankful that I have let her to be alive all this time!!’ As if my life was in her hands. I was trying to think fast. What should I do now? Should I fight my way and die? Or should I retreat and go back to my home without the child? Nammu, I never felt so much in dilemma. But I took a decision at that moment. I do not know whether I am regretting that decision even today” Dammu stopped to look at Nammu Aunty directly.

“I am sure whatever decision you would have taken must have kept alive till date. Am I right Dammu?” asked Nammu Aunty.

Dammu smiled. “Yes, I got up and went to my husband’s first wife. She thought that I was going to strike her. But I folded my hands and told, ‘I was a fool to fight all this time. I should be happy that my kid has got the best mother! She will give him the best of education and all other luxuries. I know I too can provide them. But you are crazy about the child and I allow you to keep the child’. She looked at me with surprise. She must have sensed the sincerity in my voice and the honesty in my eyes. She suddenly became very friendly. She shouted at her maids to get me medical attention. Within no time, they treated my wound below my breast in whatever way they knew. I was treated like a queen. I knew that that woman was still skeptical. She might have thought that I may be playing a drama to steal the child in an appropriate moment, even though she also knew that her guards could take care that it would not happen. I smiled at her and told, ‘Sister, don’t worry. I won’t do any tricks. I go out of the haveli, take a transport and reach my city. I will erase my memory of the stay here. She asked, ‘including the child?’ I said yes”

The time was almost dinner time. We freshened up and had our dinner. As usual, Nammu Aunty picked at her food. I thought, she must be really very sick. Is she already nearing death?

But Nammu Aunty was very eager to know the end of Dammu’s story. May be the enthusiasm of listening to Dammu had given Nammu Aunty the extra strength. Today, I was sure Dammu will complete the story till date. But what other ‘story’ I have to invent to keep Nammu Aunty healthy as long as possible? This question haunted me continuously.

After dinner, we again assembled to listen to the balance of the narration.

“There is not much to add Nammu! Once she found that I was not hostile, she took care of me. She arranged for a vehicle for me to reach the nearest Railway station. She even presented me a local Sari and a few gold and diamond jewels! That is the price which I got for giving away my child!” Dammu laughed.

“I felt like a surrogate mother which is now a common thing in our country.  I came back here and picked up the threads again. I had left the place for quite some time. Fortunately for me, my father’s lawyer who is even now my lawyer had taken charge of the house and kept it intact. God won’t cheat humans unlike humans who cheat other humans!” Dammu exclaimed and went on to explain the rest of the story.

It was very difficult during one or two years. She was craving for the child. She was even contemplating taking the help of law to retrieve the child. Then she thought, the child is in good hands. Of course, it was a loss for her. But why get into unnecessary skirmish? By letting the child go, there was peace in her life. Otherwise, she was to live in apprehension of an attack by the first wife of her husband.

“But do you not miss your child?” asked Nammu Aunty.

“Of course I do Nammu! But I started seeing my child in every poor child who is impoverished and sick. This expanded my vision and I am happy. Then one day I found my dear Nammu and I am the happiest person in the world” she told and looked at me and said, “Probably my child would be of your age today. May be that’s why I have taken you into my custody!” and her eyes twinkled.

My ears became hot and I must have blushed. I blurted out, “Is the child a boy or a girl?”

She smiled and replied serenely. “I do not know young man and I did not want to know. When the child is not with me, should I worry to know whether the child was a male or a female? No point at all!”

What's her mistake ? - 37

“When I reached the place i remembered that this was the place where I was kept captive. I should carry my child from here and somehow reach my home, I thought. I was expecting a lot of resistance. But nothing came up to my surprise!’ Dammu smiled. But the smile did not reach her eyes, I observed.

“’Welcome, the mother of the child!  You can have a look at your child. After all, you have taken the trouble of holding the baby in your womb!’ I looked up when I heard the voice. Of course, it was my husband’s first wife. Miraculously her tummy was flat! That means the drama is complete. Now she can say that it is her baby. But I was preparing to collect all my inner strength. I knew I need every ounce of my strength to take away the baby. I had lot of thinking done on my way to this place. I first thought I will go to the police. But I immediately rejected the idea.  I had seen her to be very powerful. What is the use of going to the police? For all I know, she may have all the police eating out of her hands. I decided to rely on my wits and of course, the four types of tricks which our elders  had taught” Dammu stopped and started fidgeting with the edge of her dupatta.

It must have been very painful to go all the way back to the haveli after so many troubles she underwent. Now comes the important part. Did she get the baby?

“I saw the baby. It was peacefully sleeping. I did not have the heart to touch it and wake it. As expected, I could not know the gender of the baby. So I asked her. She rudely said, ‘I hope you heard me saying. You can have one look at your child. Since it is not going to be with you, why should you know what baby it is? Whether male or female? It is born by my husband’s seed and it is mine. Like I said earlier, I owe you one look at the baby. May be for this moment only, you escaped your death. The sedative which was given to you must have killed you. But you came out of it and have taken the trouble of coming up to here. My people were behind you all this time. They saw my husband’s brother’s death. I only let you come up to here. If I had minded I could have got killed you on your way here’.  After her long talk, I felt very annoyed. But Nammu! I was helpless. I decided to play all the tricks I had known. I pleaded with her. I implored her. I begged in all possible manners. She was like a stone. I then offered my whole property. She scoffed at me. ‘Your property? Do you know how much I have with both the brothers gone? With the kid being born? The figure is not even countable. So, with the money I could buy anything or anybody!’ I decided to threaten her. I told I will go to police. But I knew that my threat was very much useless just by the look on her face”  Dammu’s eyes started to get wet.

Nammu Aunty responded by shedding tears herself. I was getting very uncomfortable about the next part of the story. I was sure it was not at all happy after listening to all this conversation.

“Now, I decided to act fast. I rushed towards the baby to snatch it from its cradle”

What's her mistake ?-36

“That means you came to know where your son..  I mean your daughter.. I mean your child was?” asked Nammu Aunty. The narration got broken at that moment.

In fact Dammu was talking almost non-stop for the past 3 hours. She was narrating the incidents as if it did not involve her. It was a story of a third person we were made to feel.

But by Nammu Aunty’s question, the spell of storytelling was broken. It was good in a way. It was bad in another way.

It was good because it was already very late beyond bedtime. It was bad because we were yet to know what happened to Dammu’s baby? Did she ultimately get the baby? If so, where is it today? He/she could be about 24 as I had wondered earlier.

We broke the party and left to our rooms to catch some sleep.

The next was Sunday. It was a lazy day. By the time I got up, got ready and came out to the lawn Dammu and Nammu Aunty were sitting in the chairs sipping coffee with biscuits. There was a teepoy on which a coffee pot and a cup were kept and a few biscuits on another plate.

I was greeted by both. But I felt they were talking about something very seriously. What could be it?

I need not have worried. They have considered as a part of their group.

Nammu Aunty was having trouble with her eating. She was not able to speak very properly even now. She complained some pain at the back of her neck.

Dammu immediately wanted to take an appointment with the oncologist. Nammu Aunty protested.

“I have to go to Jaaji!”

Dammu looked at her seriously and said, “Nammu! You are supposed to reach on Monday evening. So, tomorrow morning we will go to the oncologist, get a clean chit from him and then you may leave for Jaaji”.

Nammu Aunty had to give her consent.

She did not like to eat the breakfast. She felt like vomiting after whatever small portion she ate.

Dammu had called the oncologist. She listened to what he had to say with a serious look on the face. Her face looked clouded. Since the generally cheery Dammu looked worried, I felt alarmed. I knew that the end is inevitable. But somehow my heart did not like to even think about it.

The morning became afternoon. After the daily chores, before lunch, we were summoned by Dammu for the next session of the story.

The dullness which was in Nammu Aunty’s all movements seem to vanish. She was like - I will be fine if you keep me engrossed in your life story!

Dammu was little perturbed. I was sure that it was not about her life story. It was to do with the telephonic conversation she had with the oncologist.

“What was the name of the village you were kept prisoner?” I asked the moment we sat together to have the story continued.

“Young man! I have more important things to tell” she said with mock severity and looked at Nammu Aunty who was very eager to know the next part.

“I thanked the village chief who had given space for my husband’s brother to stay.  He regretted that he could not take him to a hospital. I told that it is all right and everything is pre-written. Funnily it helped him overcome his guilt. I asked him the directions for the village where my baby could have been taken. He gave me the details. I thanked him again for this information this time and left in a bullock cart to reach the village”

She took a deep breath and told, “Two people from my husband’s first wife’s goons were following me without my knowledge. I was going towards the village with death hanging on my head!”

What's her mistake ? - 35

She rushed to him. She called him by his name.

May be his mind was tuned to her voice. He opened his eyes. He recognized the anxious looking Dammu!

“Come let’s go. I will search for a vehicle. We will reach the nearest hospital! You look very ill!!” she exclaimed and her words tumbled out one after the other.

He smiled.  He beckoned her to come nearer. She bent her right ear nearer to his lips.

Out came the story. Dammu could barely make out what it is. But she understood what happened. It even replied some of her queries about her whereabouts before she had reached these dwellings.

The friend whom her husband’s brother believed turned out to be treacherous. Actually it was not his mistake too. Dammu’s husband’s first wife had a firm grip over the whole situation. She had known that that person was the only close friend of her husband’s brother. She also knew that her husband’s brother will go for him for help. With the help of her large number of goons, she had captured him before he went in his jeep to meet Dammu and her husband’s brother. This was revealed by him before he was caught and tied up by the goons.

The roughish people who came with her husband’s first wife had mercilessly killed him. Her husband’s brother had put in a valiant fight to save his friend. But he could not succeed. The friend had succumbed to the wounds he got inflicted by the goons. In the bargain, even her husband’s brother got badly wounded.

The birth of the child took place. He could not know the gender of the child. Some goons along with the midwife and her husband’s first wife left the dilapidated house where Dammu gave birth to a child.

Dammu was given a heavy sedative orally. She lost consciousness for quite some time. The balance goons took both Dammu and her husband’s brother from that place and left them in the house where Dammu had regained her consciousness.

He had tried to wake Dammu in vain. The medicine must have been very strong. He was afraid that Dammu may die. He was badly injured in the stomach by a rusted sword. When he could not wake Dammu, he decided to go to a nearest village and get some medical help for her.

He had gone by a slow walk for a few hours. He fell down and crawled till he found the village. The village chief took pity on him and tried to get some immediate local medicine applied on his wound.

It looked as if the wound needed attention of a better doctor.

Dammu was aghast to know that he is wounded that badly. She felt very much indebted to him that he tried to get medical help for her while he himself was very badly injured.

The first wife of her husband was wrong! This man is good. Whoever goes out of their way to help others even though they are not in a position physically to help are good people!

She tried to make him sit so that she could something to help him.

“No, don’t try to lift me. I feel as if my whole body is about to explode. I am feeling very thirsty. Can you give me some water please?” he whispered.

She found a tumbler of water nearby. She started pouring the water into his mouth drop by drop.

He started swallowed the water slowly.

At that moment she suddenly knew how to get her child. She asked him, “Please, can you please tell me the name of your village? I hate to admit. But I do not know the name”

She did not know whether he heard her or not. But his lips opened to utter a word.

She could barely catch the word when there was a gurgling noise from him.

Her husband’s younger brother who was accused by his brother’s first wife that he lusted for her first and then Dammu, had finally succumbed to the wounds he had received and died in front of Dammu.

What's her mistake ?- 34

It seemed she was traveling for ages when she finally found a group of dwelling. From where she was standing it looked as if she had to walk another 4 kilo meters before reaching the place. The sun had already started coming down.

She felt like sitting for some time. She had no idea what was in store when she reached the village. But the hunger and thirst jointly decided her visit to the village. For all she knew the place could be full of people who act upon the orders of her husband’s first wife.

She was thinking what to do if she finds adversaries there. Her inner voice told her that ‘you reach the village Dammu! You request for some food and water and shelter also since the sun is getting down in the west. May be because it was summer and Western part of India, there was some sunlight still left in the sky and the heat in the air.

There were some trees near the village. She tried to see whether she gets something to eat there, a fruit or two. Then she could sleep there only and leave the next morning for a bigger town without getting into the village. But the fate had decided that she should reach the village to face the next part of her life’s tragedy.

The balance journey to the village was uneventful. She very badly wanted to eat something. More than that, she wanted some water to drink.

The evening was turning into night. There was a little coolness in the air. She was greeted by the bark of two dogs. She had no strength to even run or protest. She just stood there holding hands high lest the dogs do not bite away her fingers!

Fortunately for her, a wiry woman came running and shooed the dogs away and took her hand and led her to a house nearby.

It was a small house with tiles on the roof. She was made to sit on a low height cot with a thin bedspread on it. The woman went inside and came out with a tumbler of water and a plate.

Dammu found two rotis, a green chutney and two pieces of raw onion.

She was ravenous and tried to eat in a hurry. She had hiccups and had to finish the whole tumbler of water. The woman brought one more glass of water.

Now Dammu ate slowly and finished the rotis, Chutney and the onions. Then she washed her hand carefully in the plate and stirred the chutney mixed water in the plate using her right hand fingers. Then she drank the water from the plate and licked her fingers after wiping the plate clean.

The woman watching her smiled. This lady is like us, she knows the value of water in these areas, she must have thought. Dammu smiled at her.

She felt little more relieved when she went to the bathroom and threw some cold water (a very little quantity) on her face.

The woman asked her to sit and went out. After a few minutes she came in with a local ladies’ dress of a big size and handed over to Dammu.

Dammu thankfully took it and went behind the kitchen door and changed into it. The woman was the only person in that house. Probably the man of the house must have gone for work.

Now she asked Dammu her name. The moment she uttered her name, there was a change in the face of her savior woman.

Now, what is this? Wondered Dammu. Has the lady become aloof after hearing her name? Dammu could not tell.

The woman took the hand of Dammu and led her out of her house. Dammu followed not knowing what to do or how to react.

Is she an unwelcome person now? Or is there a chance that this woman knows her husband’s first wife?

Her questions were partly answered when the woman took her inside a small hut which was about 6 houses away hidden behind a bigger house.

Dammu took some time to get adjusted to the small kerosene lamp burning inside the hut.

Even in that light she could recognize her husband’s brother’s body!

Body?

No, he was breathing, but very lightly!

He looked as if he was about to die!

What's her mistake ? - 33

Dammu came out of the house. The house looked so different in the night. It was a dilapidated building. But come to think of it! This looks different. What is the day today? Was it just the next day or ....?

Dammu was devastated. How could she have been out of consciousness for so long? Or is it really long time or was she missing something?

She was not able to understand the situation. She went back to the house. Surely the house looked different. She remembered that she was lying on hay while the two ladies were trying to get the baby out of her body. That means she has been carried unconscious from there to some other place.

She sat since her legs did not help her to stand. She sat in a chair which was there. There was a gnawing feeling in her stomach. Was she hungry? When did she have her food last time?

She remembered eating in the haveli on the day she delivered the baby. Did she really deliver the baby? Of course! She should have! The growing stomach, the kick on the walls of the womb was the proof.

Where have all vanished? Where is her child? She got up and walked into the other parts of the house. It was empty. She found a basket. She opened it and there was a buzzing sound. There were many house flies which left the place since they got disturbed. She found a pair of fruits, the name of which she did not know. She searched for water. The sink tap had some water drops coming out. She washed the fruits as much as possible and gobbled them. She felt a little relieved.

After wandering to the bathroom and washing the face gave her some strength to explore further. She came out of the house since there was no one else in the house.

There was no house nearby. There was emptiness miles and miles around. She felt that she has been shifted during her unconscious period or she might have been drugged to sleep so that she could be easily shifted.

She then remembered the younger brother of her husband. What happened to him? She also remembered that there was a friend along with him. What happened to him?

Her husband’s first wife had hurled quite a number of abuses towards her husband’s younger brother. Was he that bad? How come she was not able to understand his real intentions? Has been so dumb?

How far is she from the haveli? She tried to remember whether she has seen the name of the city or town or village where the haveli existed? To her dismay she found that she did not know anything. The servants, her husband’s first wife never spoke anything about the place. She had tried to extract information and had failed miserably.

She racked her brains to remember any phrase or sentence spoken by her husband about his birthplace. Funny, he had only talked about her and he had encouraged her to talk whenever they found time to talk! He had not replied any question she asked about his past!

Of course! He had come to hide from his people and she had successfully helped him to do so. By talking and talking and talking!

Now she had to first survive. She has to see some civilization. Once she is fine with that, then she has to search for her kid.

Did she have a boy or girl? She did not know.

What a pitiable situation! She thought.

She searched the empty house. Somewhere in the corner she found a pair of old slippers. She thankfully slipped her feet in them.

With a heavy sun looming on her body, flies buzzing around her she started slowly walking on a much trodden path.

She had no idea where she will reach and when she will reach.

What's her mistake ? - 32

As the screams continued, Dammu started writhing with pain on the hay. Her husband’s brother was totally at loss without knowing what to do. He sat next to Dammu, held her hand and tried to pacify her.

It was at that moment there was the sound of a jeep arriving. He told Dammu, “Your troubles are over. Just hold for some more time. We are going away from here and reaching the nearest hospital immediately”

Dammu asked who has come.

He replied. “I had told my friend to come as early as possible. He said he could come only by early morning. Looks like he has come early. It is good! We can reach the nearest hospital fast” and went out to meet the friend.

Dammu was still feeling the pain.

In came the friend along with Dammu’s husband’s younger brother. Both of them were trying to lift Dammu and take her to the jeep when it happened.

Stormed in two ladies. Dammu was wondering what was happening. They were carrying two lanterns in their hands. Dammu recognized both the ladies!

One was the ‘doctor’ who was checking her. The other one was the woman who was like her shadow during the whole of her stay in the haveli. Her husband’s first wife!

She took some water from her camel skin pouch and sprinkled it on Dammu’s face.

“How far do you think you could have gone? You came behind him?” there was disgust and anger in her voice.

Dammu was just able to blink.  The speed with which the events were happening, she almost forgot her pain.

“What did you think? You felt safe coming behind this person? This means you don’t know how to read people!” She said and sat on the hay spread next to Dammu’s head.

“He is the most lecherous person I have ever seen. When he found that I was not being even touched by my husband, that is his brother, he tried to take advantage of me. I had a tough time to keep him away from me. I had to resort to having bodyguards always just to be away from this person” She glared at the younger brother of her husband.

Dammu did not say anything. Somehow she had felt that some more words were expected from the first wife of her husband.

She was right! But this time the words were still more torturous.  “My dear Damayanti! You were his next target. When I refused to budge to his advances, he blatantly said, ‘You are useless. I will go to my brother’s second one. She is bold and will not hesitate to become by life partner. After all, my brother is dead!’ So my dear woman! You were ready to go with this man?” she disgustingly said.

Dammu could see her husband’s brother’s head down with shame. But suddenly the pain became unbearable and she screamed.

“I knew this! That is why I have come here with all the equipment” she said and called the other woman to help in holding Dammu properly for delivering the child.

Suddenly the whole place became tense. The two men were sent out.

Dammu was slowly losing consciousness.

She did not remember the next part. She was aware that there was a crying of a baby and some cruel laughter of the first wife of her husband.

When she again regained consciousness, she became aware of her surroundings. The pain had completely subsided. She felt very light.

She tried to sit up. She suddenly remembered that she was about to deliver a child. She looked wildly around for the child.

She was all alone in that place.